The Apprentice

I wanna say this to the television audience.

I've made my mistakes.

But in all of my years of public life,

I have never profited,

never profited from public service.

I've earned every cent.

and in all of my years of public life,

I have never obstructed justice.

And I think, too, that I can say

that, in my years of public life,

I welcome this kind of examination

because people have gotta know

whether or not their president is a crook.

Well, I'm not a crook.

I've earned everything I've got.

There's nothing like this place.

There's nothing like it.

You know, the Vanderbilts and the Kennedys,

they all came here.

Do you see that old guy over there

with the pretty young model?

That's Daniel K. Ludwig, the shipping magnate,

one of the only two billionaires in the United States.

And over here, you've got SI Newhouse

who owns half of all the newspapers

and magazines in the country.

Anybody who is anybody comes here to this place.

There's nothing like it.

Why are you so obsessed with these people?

Well, I mean, I'm not obsessed with these people, I just, uh...

I'm curious, you know, about people.

There's a skill to being a billionaire.

It's a talent. You have to be born with it.

You have to have a certain gene.

It's a pretty cool place.

Yeah, and they say I'm the youngest member

ever admitted.

That must be a big thing.

It is. It's a very big thing.

I'm just gonna go powder my nose.

Okay, sure.

Excuse me. I'm Russell.

My friend wants to know if you'd join us for dinner.

Uh, well, I'm actually leaving, so...

He's a longtime member.

He wants to congratulate you

on passing the selection committee.

Well, that's totally untrue.

Sonny Liston was...

Well, fine. He was arrested 19 times.

But the guy was a champion.

So, you can't blame him for it.

-Well, hello there. -How's it going?

-How are you? -I'm fine, thank you.

Have a seat.

We're not gonna bite.

There you go. What's your name, handsome?

I'm Donald Trump.

Donald Trump, nice to meet you.

-Roy Cohn. -The Roy Cohn?

From all the papers and everything?

That's right. The Roy Cohn from all the papers.

-That's right. -Yeah, you're brutal.

-I'm brutal. That's right. -Yeah.

He's the guy who put the Rosenbergs in the chair!

Got Rosenbergs in the fucking chair!

On that count, guilty as charged.

But whatever I do, I do it for America.

-Well, uh-- -What are you drinking?

Um... I'll just have some ice water.

Ice water? Okay.

Meet my pals.

-This is Carmine Galante. -Nice to meet you.

And this voluptuous gentleman over here

with the diabetes is Tony Salerno.

Can I call you Fat Tony? Or are you gonna get me whacked?

You can call me whatever the fuck you want, okay?

You're my attorney.

But you don't call him Fat Tony

because you might end up

in the East River or something like that.

Hello.

Everybody else is not worth naming.

I, uh...

I love getting to know people. It's important for my business,

so it's really nice to meet you all.

Mr. Salerno, it's really nice to meet you.

What is your business, Donald?

Real estate. I'm vice president of the Trump Organization.

-Oh, you're Fred Trump's kid? -That's right.

He's Fred Trump's kid.

It sounds like your father is a little tangled up.

It looks like he could use a good lawyer.

Well...

But tell us about it.

Right now, the government and the NAACP are suing us.

They're saying our apartments are segregated.

This is America. You can rent

to whoever the hell you goddamn want.

But our lawyer wants us to pay a huge fine to settle. We can't.

It's gonna bankrupt us and ruin the company.

So, you tell the feds to fuck themselves!

-Damn straight! -File a lawsuit.

Always file a lawsuit. Fight 'em in court.

Make him prove you're discriminating.

Wow, I guess...

might have to get us a new lawyer.

Of course, it helps if Nixon

and the Attorney General are your pals.

Well, are you available? I mean...

What are you, some kind of a faggot?

Mrs. Nathanson?

Yeah?

The rent.

You got it? Is that all?

I think so.

You think so?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And if I count it and it's not there,

what am I supposed to do?

It's just the one month.

I just hurt my back. I just hurt myself.

That's all. And I had to go to hospital.

You know what that's like.

Let's hope you're alive next month. Get the rent.

Get the rent. Or, if not, this is it.

Mrs. Thompson.

Well, it sucks!

Half?

-You're not real! -I am very, very real.

You're in my head.

Mr. Granger, please.

Come on.

Fuck you!

Fuck you!

Fucker!

These NAACP faggots call me racist.

Fred, please. Enough.

Mary, they're calling me a racist.

How can I be racist when I have a Black driver, Mary?

-No language. -How can that be?

Pleasant conversation.

I'm not racist.

No politics.

Do you think that's funny, Freddy?

Would you get your elbow off of the table, please?

Yes, sir.

Dad, the truth is, we're being sued.

We need the lawsuit behind us,

and I need to bid on the Commodore.

And I think, with Roy, we have a chance.

Not this crap about your hotel, please.

Roy Cohn is not the guy that's gonna help us, okay?

He's a crook.

He's been indicted three times.

He's never been convicted, by the way.

The man's a genius. He ran McCarthy's show

when he was basically a teenager,

and he's pals with Nixon himself. He's vicious.

You don't think I tried pulling strings

with Beame and Rockefeller?

They're no help.

The government wants to kill us.

Just... just take the meeting, that's all I'm saying.

Just meet with him to discuss, that's all.

I think maybe Donnie's right.

Why not meet with Cohn, get a second opinion?

Says the airline pilot.

My firstborn son

is a goddamn bus driver with wings.

Fred, please.

Do you know what kind of an embarrassment that is for us?

Whenever... Whenever I'm asked about my family,

I don't mention you, Freddy.

That's how embarrassed I am about you.

Frederick, enough.

Do you like the music?

I do.

Hey, how are you? Good to see you.

Oh, my God, you look beautiful.

Why didn't you call me?

Oh, she's busy.

Oh, my God,

Oh, my God, the stories I can tell you about her.

You really know your way around here, huh?

Well, come here often enough, you get to know a few people.

Well, I can see that.

Could you loosen up a little, Donnie?

You look like a security guard.

God, those summers were the worst ever.

I would spend the whole time counting the planes,

taking off from Iowa. I was like that the whole time.

He used to make me pick the nails off the floor

-to save money. -He still does that, Freddy.

Even now.

He would say to me, "You keep an eye,

"anybody takes too long on their smoke break,

"you tell me about it," and he would give me a quarter

for every guy that I tattled on.