Dimples

Hey, what did the blue jay say

To the little sparrow on the fence one day

Say, you'll never guess, so I

Will tell you what I overheard while passing by

The blue jay said " How do you do

Mr. Sparrow, how are you"

The sparrow said " How do I do

I do just as I please" and then away he flew

Hey, what did the blue jay say

To the little sparrow as he flew away

Say, nobody ever heard

Because he didn't get a chance to say a word

The blue jay didn't notice

That on the fence there was a cat

The sparrow flew but the blue jay sat

And now he's just a little bird on Nellie's hat

Hey, hey! Beautiful, beautiful!

That performance touched my heart!

I, for one, will contribute a dollar.

Er, gentlemen? Yes.

That's... fine.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

Come on, fellas!

Help! Help! Help! I got robbed! I've been robbed! Help!

- I've been robbed! Help! Help! - The professor's at it again.

Come on, fellas. We gotta meet the professor.

Not me. The rest of youse kids can wind up in jail, but not me.

We're not going to jail. We're going to Washington Square.

- What's the matter? What's up? - It's the professor.

- He's picked a pocket again. - You take that back!

You can't inflect on my grandfather like that!

- Take it back! - All right.

You don't think the professor would take anything that didn't belong to him?

That's just the trouble with the professor!

He don't seem to know what belongs to him and what doesn't.

The professor's one of the "honestest" men in the world.

And, besides, he's reformed.

Ah, my pupils.

- Professor! - Yes, what is it, my little tuberose?

Tell them you didn't take anything from that man.

What do you mean, steal? Why, who suggested such a thing?

- We did! - Oh, you did.

Well, now I ask you, is this gratitude...

after all I've done for you boys?

- I'm ashamed of you. - You see?

Yes. As a matter of fact, I just learned of a big party uptown...

where, if we hurry, we can pick up a penny or two playing for the guests.

Come along.

- Come on. - Well, maybe he is honest,

but if it happens again...

Come on, boys. Sit down!

Skinny, would you please sit over here?

Cunning, aren't they? Especially the little one.

Tsk! The hats! Can't you see you're in a swell house?

Wouldn't it be amusing to have them play at our wedding reception?

We could dress them up and...

Allen, you're not listening.

Huh? Oh, our wedding. Yes, yes. Of course.

- Allen. - What?

Never mind.

Come on, boys. Tune up.

Stop sniffling like that. Here, use this.

A sad thing to say at best. Thoroughly disapprove of it.

Stop mumbling, Jasper.

I can't understand your nephew bringing these filthy little street Arabs here.

They'd steal your hoops if they could get their hands on them.

I'll thank you not to get personal, Jasper.

He was a dandy Yes, he was a dandy

He was a dandy and she was a belle

She wore a bonnet with blue ribbons on it

And he wore a flower in

His coat lapel

He was so handsome

And she was oh, so fair

While strolling on the avenue

Folks would stop and stare

For he was a dandy

Yes, he was a dandy

He was a dandy and she was a belle

She wore a bonnet with a stuffed tomato on it

And he wore a flower in

His coat lapel

We've been robbed. All our furs, everything.

A burglar's been in and has stolen everything!

- What did I tell ya? He's done it again. - He did not.

- I know he didn't! - Just the same, I'm through! Come on.

He did not! He did not!

Police! Police!

Police! Police!

I'm caught!

- Somebody broke in the window. - What?

I haven't any doubt these ragamuffins are part of the scheme,

sent here to divert our attention from the thief.

- Will you stop mumbling? - They've caught one of them.

- Leave me alone. I didn't do anything. - We'll take you right in.

- I don't know nothing about it. - We caught this one in the balustrade.

I trust you weren't injured in the struggle.

Why, no, ma'am... not a scratch.

Come here, dear. Don't be afraid. You and Jasper...

take these gallant officers upstairs...

and get a description of the things that were taken.

Give my apologies to my guests and assure them I will replace everything.

- But doesn't this one go to jail? - Oh, don't be an idiot.

Come, dear.

I didn't do anything. Honest, I didn't.

- I'm too little. - Are you?

- Won't you let me go? - Where would you go?

- Home. - Where's home?

- With the professor. - The professor?

- Who's the professor? - Oh, don't you know him?

Why, everybody knows the professor.

He's a fine gentleman and an "aristocrack."

Oh.

- Is that cake? - Suppose you find out.

Help yourself, my dear.

- Hey, Professor, wait a minute! - What is it?

Professor, they got her! The police. They got her!

- They got who? They got Dimples? - Yes, sir!

Oh, uh... Here, uh...

Say, the professor's awful strict with his students.

He watches 'em very close so they won't do nothing bad.

And he scolds them if they're naughty.

But singing and playing in the street? Isn't it rather odd...

for a music teacher to permit that?

Aw, that's just practice.

If they practice at home, the neighbors throw bottles through the windows.

Which do you like best, chocolate or vanilla?

I like chocolate and vanilla.

I wish the professor was here. He likes vanilla cake.

Help! Stop thief! Help! Stop thief!

Oh, he got away. The thief got away.

- Are you hurt, sir? - Oh, he was a big fellow.

Too big for me. I'm not as young as I once was.

- What's going on down there? - This gentleman almost caught the thief.

- He got nearly everything back. - Wonderful!

Won't you come in, sir? I'd like to see you.

Oh, thank you, madam. I'd be delighted.

Well, I did no more than my duty as a citizen.

Ah, and not unlike the home of my childhood.

Dimples, my darling.

- You're all right. - I knew you'd come.

- It's the professor. - Ah, delighted.

Do you see? If anything's been stolen, always send for the professor...

and, generally, you can get it back.

Uh, yeah. Well, I wouldn't go as far as to say that.

You've rendered me a valuable service, sir. I can't thank you enough.

Oh, madam. I, uh, I was passing...

in front of your, uh... cottage...

when the culprit emerged from the bushes.

I seized him and grappled with him,

but he was young and I am not the Eustace Appleby that I was...

when I stroked the Yale crew to victory.

If it wouldn't embarrass you, I'd like you to accept a little something.

Oh, no, no, madam. Thank you. Not for me.

Any American would have done the same.

But, of course, if you'd like to, uh,

remember the child with a little something...

- Oh, no. - Eh, no.

Just a little souvenir. $100 or...

Perhaps 75.

Is there anything you'd especially like, dear?

Well, there is one thing.

- Yes. - What is it, dear?

If it's not too much,

I'd like another little piece of that chocolate cake.

- Of course, child! - Oh, dear.

How big a piece do you want? A big piece or a real big piece?

Give her all the cake and some of the cookies.

Here you are, dear.

Now tell me, where do you live?

- In the rookery, in Cherry Street. - The rookery?

Just sort of camping out... the Depression, you know.

Oh, yes. Good night, my dear.

- Will you come and see me again, soon? - Yes, ma'am.

I'd like to. Do you always have chocolate cake?

I will, whenever you come and see me.

Well, come, my little rosebud.

It's passed our bedtime, you know.

Au revoir.

Oh!

- Cicero! - Yes, sir.

Yes, I wasn't sleepin'. I was just restin' my eyes.

Well, this is hardly what a gentleman expects of a gentleman's gentleman.

A flne way you choose to welcome your master home after the day's commerce.

There should be a blazing fire, hot punch.

Yes, sure would be nice.

- But... - I was never without my nightcap.

I never knowed you had but the one cap, Mr...

I have put up with your perpetual unconsciousness!

I've overlooked your careless treatment of my establishment!

But no one can remain on my domestic staff...

and speak slightingly of the Appleby wardrobe.

I am known as the beau of Cherry Street.

As for you, Cicero, I have come to the conclusion...

that this apartment is not big enough for both of us.

Uh, maybe we can get a bigger apartment...

Out of my sight! You're flred!

If there's nothing I can do about it.

Nothing! Nothing! Absolutely nothing, Cicero. Our paths part.