June

You think I can get some extra

so me and M-Chuck can take some nurses out for some coffee?

Sure, man, ask me while my dick is in my hand

and my wallet's in yours.

Ain't that what I did?

All right, look, you're gonna get one of these every month.

- Here, Ma. - Hallelujah! Shit!

What did I tell you about rockin' brand names in public?

Sharpie the logos till we close the deal

for you to wear it, especially the shoes.

All right, then close me a sneaker deal.

- - Wait, what just happened?

- See that command tent? - Hey, yeah. Is that me?

- That's the top half of you. - Where are my legs?

Hang on. They coming.

There they are.

War is hell in hi-def, nephew.

How many fruits you think the state of Georgia tried

before settling on peaches?

Girl, I'm too old to waste time speculating.

Oranges, probably.

Lemons, limes, tangerines,

clementines, kiwi.

- You like kiwis, Ma? - Kiwi's got too much fructose.

Fructose will kill you quicker than nicotine.

I read it and I believe it.

Okay. No, no. We'll see you then.

All right, thank you. Bye-bye.

Folks, phone to the ear means inside voices.

There's an entire outside deck for your outside voice.

It's too windy out there for a business call.

Says the source of all the wind.

Yeah, Reggie was casting a spell on that call.

I heard fragments.

I set Under Armour for Monday.

We gonna close this deal.

- Aw, yes, sir! Boy, we rollin' now! - Yes!

What we asking Under Armour for?

A fucking shitload of money.

Listen, I thought we were giving up the use of the fuck word.

- You mean the F word. - Correct.

Ma, you just said no using the fuck word.

- Correct. - Ma, it's either fuck or the F word.

- It's not the fuck word. - What the fuck?

You know what the fuck I meant.

Absolutely.

- We're fucking sorry. -

What the fuck word we angling in addition to the money?

Perks and all that.

Uncle J, we trying to build Cam the brand.

So strolling for perks is small time,

but a great shoe deal, that's big time.

Well, if there's any room in a wiggle for a perk, demand a robot.

Hell, they runnin' things.

Better get in good with them now.

- - I got that.

Where you get this shit from?

That's actually a good point. Think about the Jetsons.

Missy Vaughn, love of my life.

There are Confederate flags on the license plates down here.

People suck. We're aware of this.

I'm gonna steal a Confederate flag, light it on fire,

scale the Georgia statehouse, and burn the shitheap down.

Well, I'll bring the matches.

Listen, Cam and I meet with Under Armour on Monday.

You're booked Monday morning.

I'm not burning flags with you in broad daylight.

Did you forget what we're doing Monday?

You forgot. I know that pause.

I was holding back a burp.

Oakwood Country Club? Prospective member visit?

Just say you forgot so we can get to the next stage of the conversation.

Missy, please, come on. Me at a country club?

I'd be like a sailor on dry land.

I moved to this godforsaken swamp of a city

on the condition that something

would not revolve around basketball.

I sat through the ballet with you.

- The one about the ducks. - Swans.

And I sat through the play about gay Abe Lincoln.

Did I complain about it?

You haven't stopped complaining.

John Wilkes Booth would've shot himself at that play.

You're always telling Cam what's good for his brand.

A good country club, that's what's good for Reggie's.

What time's Under Armour?

- 9:30. - Make it 9:00

and I'll push Oakwood to noon.

You want me to ask Under Armour to move the meeting?

Don't ask, tell. Negotiation 101, baby.

Love you!

Love you, too.

- Eh. - Yeah.

If you gonna put in for a robot, Rosie from the Jetsons.

Square mouth, big ass,

and she make her own sandwiches.

- Eh. Yeah. -

- What is this one's name? - I'm not sure.

She slept overnight and you don't even know her name?

If I had to guess, I'd go with Judith.

- Why would you invite her to church? - I didn't.

When you said, "Get in the car, we're going to church," she got in.

So you invited her.

Ooh, I am so glad that we are getting back to praising God

and thanking Him for our blessings.

His blessings were few and far between for a long time.

You know what I miss about Boston?

The racial harmony?

No, we ain't have to go to church in Boston.

Gotta find the right church.

The choice of church says a lot about a man.

Jesus said, "Pick you one already."

Welcome! Welcome.

What a beautiful morning to be alive,

alert, and sharing God's grace.

Amen!

I know there's a lot of other places you could have been this morning,

so I'm glad you chose to be here with us.

Praise God.

Praise God.

James, chapter 1, verse 17.

"Every good gift

and every perfect gift is from above

and cometh down from the Father of Lights

with whom is no variableness,

neither shadow of turning."

Amen. Amen.

The triumphs we've reached,

the mountains we've climbed.

We don't claim these victories because of our own doings,

but that of the Lord.

This verse makes me consider questions to self...

have I given proper credit to God

- for the bounty in my life? Amen.

And furthermore, am I a person

that fosters harmony and kindness?

One who cultivates joy and love?

God is love.

Yes, He is.

We've got to get in touch with God in us.

He is there waiting to be welcomed into the every day.

Open your door.

Say hello! Shake His hand!

Turn off your phones. Shut down your Facebook. Stop your tweetering.

Fill your life with His abundant joy!

- Amen. Preach, preacher! Preach!

- Donut? - No, thanks.

Donut's got molasses in it.

I refuse to eat anything my ancestors been bartered for.

Then you gonna get skinny.

- Cam. - Yeah?

I know you've been visiting some other churches,

- trying to settle on a place of your own. - Yeah.

A man of your stature will bring more people to a congregation.

Can I have your autograph?

The more people gathering,

the more alms we're able to share.

- I hope you'll come back. - Good sermon, Pastor.

Thank you, brother. I appreciate that.

Reverend, more than come back,

I think we'll be settling here.

- We'll be blessed. - All right.

Let me get to the car before I get tempted to grab one of these donuts.

- Uh, Cam. - Yeah? Hey.

One question. Your sister?

Mary Charles? The best.

I know you're from

the great state of Massachusetts

where marriage is defined a bit more...

Is that her wife over there?

No, no. That's just a friend.

If at all possible,

would you ask her to show her affection

for her friend after services and not during?

I'm not naive, Cam, and I certainly live in a modern world...

- Nice sermon, Pastor. - Thank you, sister. Have a lovely evening.

But it was a bit distracting for some of our other churchgoers.

Right. Will do.

- Thanks, Cam. And welcome. - Of course.

- Take care, Rev. - All right, brother.

- Let's go, sis. - Thank you, sisters, for joining us this Sunday.

- All right. - See you next week.

All right, brother...

- Okay. Okay, Julius, enough.

Cut that sermon a little shorter next week.

Keep your eyes open, brother, and you might not miss something, all right?

- God bless you. Thank you, Pastor.

Come on, M-Chuck. Enough.

No, fuck him and his woman-hating church!

You met the girl last night at a club. Who cares?

I won't tolerate discrimination.

Look, he don't want straight people

pawing at each other in the pews either.

It's a church. Chill.

We may not live on Mars, but one Venus should be able

to love another Venus without criticism.

Yeah, we live on Earth, so you can't finger fuck people in church.

I wasn't doing anything crass. I was holding her hand.

He's a hater and I ain't gonna let you join a church that hates.

That preacher's lucky I showed the restraint that I did.