Gossip Girl

Good morning, followers.

In New York, Thanksgiving is more

than a day to plan seating charts,

triple check that New York Times recipe,

and brace for family arguments.

Thanksgiving is also the favorite holiday

-of yours truly. -(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

It's a time to be grateful for what matters.

And this year, I'm most grateful for you.

For your secrets, your lies,

and all the tips you've given me.

So try to enjoy the tryptophan and relax.

It's all set. Prep all morning, visit Grandma, dinner at 5:00,

then It's a Wonderful Life.

So, who are you inviting? Julien and Davis?

-Obie? -How about no one?

What? We have to keep this Friendsgiving alive.

An open door is an open heart.

And that looks better on a pillow

than it sounds out loud.

I'm just-- I'm not feeling very festive.

And Obie has plans already, I'm sure.

They don't celebrate Thanksgiving in Germany.

Dad, can't it just be us this year?

You usually love a table full of people.

What's going on?

But don't relax too much.

-Love you, Dad. -You, too.

Because no matter where you might be celebrating,

I'll always have a seat at the table.

There you are. Here I am.

-And here I go. Wait. No breakfast?

I'm meeting someone before class.

I wanted to talk to you about something.

-It's important. -I'm already late.

(OVER PHONE) The important thing is to keep her life

as stress-free as possible as she transitions back to home.

I have prepared the house just like you said.

It's gonna be an intimate holiday

just for the two of us.

I know it's been a long road.

I hope you've had someone taking care of you during this time.

A few. Thanks, Doctor.

Sorry. What were you saying?

Your father said he left a message.

You haven't called back.

Uh, he didn't say to. He just said,

"I know-- I hope you understand

that I will always support you, blah, blah, blah,

stay away from hooligans."

Hooligans? Who is he, Clint Eastwood?

He loves you. And he wants you to be happy.

Yeah, especially if it's good for business.

Yeah. What he did was unfortunate,

but he's still your father.

You don't have to agree with him,

but you still have to talk to him.

And if you ever wanna talk to me...

-I'm good. -Yeah, you're...

Um...

You-- you're good. You're good.

What's on the phone?

Nothing, surprisingly.

Don't start. I am great.

I haven't slept this well in years.

I have twice as much closet space,

no denim in my eyeline,

and I don't have to Dyson up the dusting of potting soil

that Pops left behind every day.

I am out of a decades-long cable knit-mare,

and it's fantastic.

Well, you look like a guest at Canyon Ranch,

you haven't done your hair in a week,

and you canceled Thanksgiving.

You think I wanted to cancel?

It's not my fault things changed.

Look, we'll make it great. We'll order from Il Buco,

put on a Merchant Ivory, double mask.

Our own Canyon Ranch. The queer father-son one.

The abandoned queer father-son one. (SIGHS)

You see, this is why I can't make myself up.

I'm gonna look like Chelsea Handler. (SNIFFLES)

-Wait. Do you smell that? -Claridge's and Ruinart?

Baccarat Rouge 540.

But the only person I know who wears that is...

Up, on the left.

-(CHUCKLES) Oh! That's it. Be careful with those.

Yes, ma'am. -Saskia.

-(MAX AND GIDEON LAUGH) -Darlings! (SQUEALS)

Oh! (SIGHS)

You look more like me every day, mon fils.

-(CHUCKLES) -And so do you, my love.

-Bless you. -(SMOOCHING) Darling?

Guest room's on four.

-Yeah, just up through there. -You can just leave it, it's fine.

-That's it. -What are you doing here?

I thought you were doing that Mike Leigh?

No, that got intense. Yeah. So, he rents me this tiny flat,

makes me live in it so I can get into character,

then I find out there is no movie

-and he is just into me. -(CHUCKLES)

Can you imagine?

He's old enough to be my first boyfriend, darling.

Oh. Oh!

This is Michael Caine, your new baby brother.

Careful, he pees when he's excited.

He's just like me when I was pregnant with you.

Do you remember? I was pissing everywhere.

You know I love a Saskia surprise...

Giddy, you invited me.

But then I left you a voicemail.

Darling, the only people who leave voicemails

are assistants and David O. Russell.

And I'm keeping those in case I'm ever deposed.

Also, this-- oh, this. Yeah.

There was an actual stampede at the Chiltern

when I met Paul Mescal. Or I should say, Paul Mescaline.

That man's beauty, literally hallucinogenic.

Oh, I do hope I've arrived in time to help supervise.

Where's Roy-Roy? (GASPS)

I've got these illicit photos of Jude and Phillipa's garden he asked for.

Darling, have you come from a spin class

-or-- -Roy...

moved out.

What? No! (GASPS)

Oh, darling, you must tell me all about it right now.

Also, please let's use my cream rinse.

It's from Hershesons. This is just...

Anybody could see us here.

It's Le Pain. (SCOFFS) We're good.

This close to school?

We're having breakfast together, Obie. Big deal.

-We're friends. -No, friends do not do

what we did, all right? I don't--

I've felt sick all weekend.

So have I. She hasn't messaged me back.

Yeah, no. She hasn't been answering my calls.

We're terrible people.

We're not.

Sometimes good people do bad things and don't realize

until it's too late. And now they have to pretend

that those bad things never happened.

I mean, you think maybe that she can, you know, that--

that she'll understand?

I can't lose her, Obie.

What happened was just a moment. That's it.

It wasn't real. It's just an echo.

I should've-- I should have never...

We...

should have never.

What are we gonna do when we-- when we see her? I mean--

We looked for her. We couldn't find her.

We tried to contact her all weekend.

But we should keep our distance, starting now.

I'll take Fifth. You take Madison.

Why did Dan Humphrey always give himself Thanksgiving off?

It's one of the juiciest days of the year.

A, don't ever say "juicy" again, and B, he probably went insane

writing all those posts about himself.

This thing is all-consuming, and I barely do anything.

Which is why I never take days off, especially now.

You can refresh it all you want.

Once media's deleted, it's gone.

-But does he know we saw it? -We share the account.

There's no way he'd know who saw it,

-unless you told him you did. -Well, we should tell someone.

He slept with a student. That's--

Morally reprehensible, yes, but not illegal.

Max is 17. I checked. It's the age of consent.

But Rafa would still get fired.

It definitely crosses a line,

but there's more of an age difference between you and Nick Lott.

Max Wolfe sent us that video.

He wanted Gossip Girl to post it.

I mean, for all we know, Rafa ghosted him

-and it's revenge porn. -I miss revenge porn.

We need to find out if Rafa knows we know.

And if he doesn't, we need to decide

-what to do about it. -Nothing. We have no proof.

Your hair, it's cool.

Thanks. I am trying something new.

-Uh, as are you, apparently? -New things can be cool, right?

Yeah, but, um, they can also be weird.

-Are you talking about-- -What? No. Why? Are you?

-You are. -Buongiorno, amanti.

I was wondering when I was gonna see you both again.

-Why are you so happy? -Well, my birth mom,

she is in town helping my dad feel better,

which allowed me to remember

how we all made each other feel better. (CHUCKLES)