Dynasty

Previously on Dynasty:

We have news to celebrate. Last night, I asked Cristal to marry me.

-And she said yes. - Where are you, Hank?

I don't know who this Claudia is, or why I have her baby.

But you need to come get it now.

I'm folding.

-Done. -You're not going anywhere.

I'll let go of the club and your blackmail if you do one last thing.

I need you to pick something up.

Oh, my God.

Sam found a baby in the manger.

I have a favor to ask. Could you pop by Alexis' trailer and check her size for me?

What the hell?

-What was your name? -Manuel.

-I babysit a lot. -Would you like to stick around?

I want to get married as soon as we can.

-So I'm never scared of losing you again. -I don't ever wanna lose you either.

The fairy-tale bride is a walking dream.

The epitome of happily ever after.

Feels a little too damsel-in-distress-y for me.

Unless she's wearing mesh and lace garters under there.

Is she?

No, she's not?

Next.

The glam-rock bride dazzles, never fades.

A bright star with a lust for life.

Okay. No, no. I love the fur.

But the glitter is way too Tonya Harding. Next.

What is all of this?

Hey, there you are.

I've had our planner put together some human Pinterest boards.

-So we can visualize our big day. -That's a little over-the-top.

Do we need an extravagant wedding?

Well, it's a celebration of us, and how much we'll spend to celebrate us.

Don't worry, I can afford it.

These are not items you typically find in someone's trailer, Alexis.

You had something to do with Little Blake's arrival.

You caught me, Sam.

It was Hank who left the baby at my doorstep.

He was here?

You're telling me that my precious baby is that murdering pyro's child?

Hank apparently knocked up this woman, who was an unfit mother and--

That's a gene pool that should be contained.

No offense, I know he's your grandson.

You have to understand.

And your father was a murderer.

But Blake?

He'll never look at L.B. the same.

-Fine, I'll keep it between us. -So, it's agreed?

Not a word. Not a word to Blake or Cristal or--

Or Child Protective Services?

-Didn't you call them? -I couldn't.

I couldn't risk them tracing the baby to Hank,

putting the spotlight on the family.

Please, you have to keep pretending they're on their way.

Whatever it takes to keep Little Blake happy and safe.

And with me.

The whole antebellum theme is giving me Get Out vibes.

Ooh.

No. No.

No, no, no.

Since you're in the process of planning your wedding, I'd like to give the toast

after your brother. We should skip your mother altogether.

Also, in the spirit of new beginnings,

-you should make Cristal a bridesmaid. -Oh, are we discussing the wedding?

I've been working on my guest list, and I have whittled my "must invites" down

to 350.

Everyone, this is Manuel.

The new manny.

-Manny the manny? That can't be real. -Make sure he's at the adult table.

And I'd appreciate it if you could ban guests from wearing leopard print.

-That's kind of my aesthetic. -No, no, no, to everyone.

Your job will be to simply show up and shut up. In that order.

Yeah.

-Mine is completely reasonable. - Fallon is right.

It's her special day, and we should do whatever she wants.

Thank you, New Cristal.

Okay, everybody out, except for Culhane.

We need to find our iconic venue.

-Hi, you. -Aww.

Look, he's smiling for Grandma.

You'll meet Mrs. Gunnerson. She'll help you with anything.

Sam.

Did you manage to get Alexis' sweater size from her trailer?

Yes, I'm sorry.

I forgot. All the tags were size zero.

- Zero? -Zero.

Ah.

Seems weird to me. Is that all you found?

I think she sews on fake tags.

But you know many celebrities do that.

- Anything else you need? - No.

Thank you. You've been

really helpful. This is cute.

What did you do to Sam?

They should tie a bell around your furry little neck.

He said nothing about finding the baby Jesus in your RV.

I can tell he's lying.

Maybe I should tell Blake.

Without proof? He'll think you're an insecure lunatic

that's got it out for his stunning ex-wife.

We're still engaged. Even after you told him everything I did.

You know, Blake's pantalones might tighten at the thought of you now.

But in time, they're gonna deflate.

And since you're not gonna be here long. Don't bother sucking up

-to my daughter. -What are you talking about?

I saw the way you smooch her ass.

And if there's one thing I will never allow,

-it's for you to get close to my children. -Oh, I get it.

Your kids are all you have left.

You've lost your husband, your friends, your place in society.

You're practically a leper.

Enjoy the caviar.

I can always get you more.

The Hildebrand just remodeled. They have a rotating restaurant.

That's nice, if I wanna get married on a merry-go-round. Ugh.

- -Tacky. Ugly. Wait.

Is that the Swan House?

Built in 1928, it's one of Atlanta's most historic estates.

Aww. Grandma Carrington got married there. It's so beautiful.

You were close to her, weren't you? That would be special.

-To get married where she did. -Special and deeply personal.

It's the only option.

Unfortunately, there's another wedding booked that evening.

Would you consider moving the date?

Oh. Absolutely not.

We already sent out Save the Dates. It would cause speculation.

What with my recent divorce--

Well, divorces, and the accelerated engagement,

no. Who booked it?

Mimi Rose Prescott.

Mimi Rose?

She's a Southern socialite who's been married, what? Five times?

-I can convince her to skip this one. -Do you know her?

No.

But I know someone who does.

Not to interrupt your paint by numbers, the deceased series.

I want the Swan House for my wedding venue.

Guess who has it booked for their wedding on the same day?

Not me. I swear.

Mimi Rose Prescott.

I recall her being part of your

cabal of blond, big-haired head cases that you used to slither with.

Hmm. know Mimi.

Well, yay.

You can set up a face-off. We convince her she doesn't need to get married there.

Do you remember, a couple hours ago, you said you did not want family involvement?

Because it surely seems like you're asking me for help.

I'm not gonna beg you.

Hmm. I should get back to my painting.

Please, Mother, I need your help.

Well, that's not great, but it will do.

Look at us, joining forces. The two of us riding into battle together.

Relax. We're meeting with a woman, not overthrowing the Lannisters.

It's ungentlemanly of you to keep me waiting.

-I was busy. -With wedding planning?

It's the talk of the town.

Aren't you glad I rescued you from sleep-inducing lace-and-tulle talk?

I'm only doing this job because you promised me the blackmail on Fallon.

And the video of Jeff's poker game.

I'm not letting a disaster like the one at the club happen again.

The disaster you caused?

Surely you're a man who takes responsibility for his actions?

Have years of being Fallon's errand boy worn your ass down?

My ass is doing just fine, thank you very much.

I like you, Michael.

That's why I wanna help you.

You need to pick up a shipment of antiques for me. Then you're done.

A shipment of antiques? That doesn't sound shady at all.

Everything's taken care of.

The only thing you need to do is drive.

As long as that's all I'm doing, then we're good.

You deliver for me.

And I deliver for you, your freedom.

It's been so long, Alexis. I remember Fallon as just a sweet little thing.

-Oh, no, must've been a different Fallon. -Well, when did we last talk?

-Aspen? -No. The yacht in Majorca.

We pushed old Savannah Gates overboard.

Oh, my God, she would have drowned if her implants hadn't kept her afloat.

I would have called on you sooner, but I have been overwhelmed with my charities.

I remember those lovely galas.

I almost invited you to the last one.

Then I thought it might be awkward for you to be out in society,

being between homes and single.

Oh, I've been preoccupied, renovating my loft and--

Well, planning Fallon's wedding.

I'm getting married, too.

-Oh, look at that. -It's gonna be at the Swan House.

That old place?

Oh, dear.

What's wrong?

Well, you've always been so avant-garde.

That old house is well-trafficked like a drive-through wedding chapel these days.

Yes, and over-filmed. In The Hunger Games it was a mass-murdering dictator's home.

Yeah, I just see you somewhere more lavish, unexpected.

-You still have that friend at Hildebrand? -Yes, I can get you an unbelievable deal.

Bless your hearts.

You two are more transparent than Savannah's implants.

I did not get to my perch in Atlanta society without my spies.

I know you want the Swan House.