The Lives of a Bengal Lancer

All right. 2:30 tomorrow. Thank you. Goodbye.

Thanks, Sergeant.

Report of horse rations, Thirtieth Hussars.

Regimental and general files.

Now, each of these buttons represents troops. Do you understand?

Yes, sir. Good.

The buttons are thickest up near the Northwest Frontier.

Oh, yes, always.

We have 300 million people to protect.

And most of the danger is there.

It's so romantic to a greenhorn like me.

Kipling and all that, you know.

Romantic?

Well, at first, yes.

A-another button to move.

41st Bengal Lancers.

Here, near the pass.

The pass? Does that mean...

It means nothing but maneuvers.

As Col. Stone says in his report here.

You hear that firing, Hamilton?

Typical sniping fire, sir.

Yes, and Afridi muskets every one of them.

Not a shot from our detachment.

Good. Hendrickson's a good soldier.

Rough on him,

having those Afridi swine popping away at his men

and not able to return fire.

Well, he'll get a citation if this plan works.

Plan's good enough, sir, if it were anybody but Mohammed Khan.

He's a clever dog.

Yes, of course he is. I ought to know.

But he's nibbling at our bait this time.

And if we can once draw him down

out of those hills far enough, out into the open

so that we can cut off his retreat,

we've got him red-handed!

And that's what I've been waiting for,

for 15 years, Hamilton.

Afridi swine. When do we go into action, Hendrickson?

On no account return fire. Col. Stone's orders.

Colonel's orders.

Narain Singh.

Now can we start something?

Colonel's orders, McGregor.

But the old fool couldn't have foreseen this.

I'd like to have you with me in a war,

but for peace time, you're a bit too...

Too...

Too impulsive.

Machine guns!

Forward!

Most unfortunate,

the command devolved upon you.

Of course you didn't know my orders.

I did know them, sir.

Why didn't you obey them?

You call yourself a soldier?

That's all.

The Colonel knows India, McGregor. You don't.

You're right, I don't.

I'm just a fool Scotch-Canadian.

Came into your outfit to get action.

He's got a ramrod for a backbone.

He's a terror for drilling, but when it comes to the real thing...

McGregor, the Colonel has the right

to act as he thinks best and say what he pleases.

Mount!

One more thing, sir.

Two replacements come in today from Delhi.

Paperwork.

When we came into the regiment as boys,

we didn't know that this was 9 l 10ths of soldiering.

No.

We thought and acted rather like McGregor.

Mmm.

What about these two replacements?

What are they sending to us now?

From the Blues: Lt. Forsythe.

The Blues, eh? Well, that's a fashionable regiment.

All spit and polish. Who's the other one?

From Sandhurst: Lt. Stone.

What?

From Sandhurst?

What, they're sending me a young cub,

not dry behind the ears yet? Unseasoned?

Straight from, fr-from military college

to the Frontier?

Oh, bless me.

Hmm, what'd you say his name was?

Donald Stone, sir. Hmm.

And who asked you to interfere

in my personal affairs?

Will you forget that you're my colonel

for a moment, sir?

Yes.

Look here, Tom.

In about two years, you'll be retired.

So you sent for my son

because you feel sorry for me, is that it?

Not at all.

The idea was to keep the name of Stone

in the 41st after you're gone.

There's no room for sentimentality in the army.

Hardly fair to ship him home without a trial.

Still, he'll measure up to my standards,

or out he goes.

Of course.

And at the first sign of favoritism,

from you or anyone else,

there'll be trouble.

And that's an order, Maj. Hamilton.

Just as you said, Major.

It's the Colonel's privilege

to do and say what he likes.

McGregor, you'll meet the two replacement officers this morning.

Lts. Forsythe and Stone.

Yes, sir. S-Stone?

His son.

His what?

I said, his son.

I can't imagine old Ramrod ever having been that human.

The train arrives at 10:30, Mr. McGregor.

Yes, sir.

Madam, you'll marry me Tuesday the 29th.

Be at the church at 10:00. That's an order.

Furthermore, you're improperly dressed.

Ha, Ha.

Did you want to speak to me, McGregor?

No, sir.

I hope he's a nice follow.

He won't be. Ramrod.

I beg your pardon?

One Stone isn't enough. We have to have two.

There he is, the younger Ramrod himself.

Everything was all right? Thank you, sir.

Couldn't be anybody else. Just as sure of himself as...

Look at the way they jump around for him.

Look at his luggage, everything just so-so.

Well, come on, let's get it over with.

No, I've got a little business.

You get your precious replacements.

I'm McGregor, Lancers, sent to meet you.

Oh, sort of reception committee, eh?

It's nice to know I was expected.

The regiment's been practically breathless for a week.

Oh?

Traveling light, huh?

Well, you see, I did expect to stay a little while.

That is if you don't mind too much.

It's all right with me.

Goodbye.

And thank you very much for being so kind.

Not at all.

Your luggage and everything all taken care of?

Everything, thank you.

May I present Mr. McGregor, Miss Leys?

Very happy. How do you do?

Goodbye.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Who's she?

I met her on the train, if you don't mind.

Bad business talking to strange people out here.

You know, this is India.

You don't know who they are, and you might...

Oh, I see. Beautiful spy meets the young Lancer officer,

makes him give away important military secrets.

The Empire goes smash.

Melodrama, my dear McGregor, melodrama.

It might not be as funny as it sounds, Mr. Stone.

I don't suppose it matters to you,

but my name isn't Stone.

No? No, it's Forsythe.

Well, then, that must be Stone there.

That's very good, you know. That's really very good.

It's almost brilliant.

Stone? I'm McGregor, sent to meet you.

That's very nice of you.

Stone, meet Mister, uh...

What did you say your name was?

Forsythe.

Mr. Stone, Mr. Fort.

We met on the train, and the name is Forsythe.

Too hot for Forsythe.

Fort, Stone. Stone, Fort.

Stone Fort. And that's funny.