The Young in Heart

Many a hot Indian night my dear old Lancers and I have whiled away at poker.

I've been a bit out of touch with the game lately, however,

which may account for the fact that the cards seemed somewhat obstinate.

Obstinate?

I thought they did everything but push the money toward you.

Well, it's keeping it in the family, Jennings. All in the family.

A son of domestic jackpot, you might say.

Of course, once the dear children are married,

everything I have is yours, and everything you have is mine.

You mustn't let your generosity sweep away your reason, sir.

Isn't it lovely the way my husband has taken Mr. Jennings?

To his heart, I mean, of course.

Just like two boys, the way they like to gamble on everything.

Tell me, Mrs. Carleton, why do you call your husband the Sahib?

Sahib? That's Indian for "gentleman," you know.

Such a distinguished man.

But what does he do now?

He's an economist, part of the Brain Trust, you know...

Labor conditions, wages, unemployment.

The sahib doesn't believe in unemployment.

He doesn't?

He thinks it should all be done away with.

How interesting.

He says the only way to do away with unemployment

is to do away with employment.

If nobody worked, there couldn't be any unemployment,

and so the Sahib hasn't done a speck of work for years.

Passive resistance, you know.

Gandhi.

How clever of him.

My son feels the same way about it.

- He's terribly clever too. - And so charming.

And soon to be your son too, Mrs. Jennings.

"This night, these stars,"

"this purple sea..."

"why were they planned?"

"With what in view, but for a setting of our love?"

Mercy, Richard, you do think up the prettiest poetry.

Honey, you just make me want to cry.

Love and tears go hand in hand, Adela.

That's life.

I was just thinking how romantic our marriage is gonna be.

We were just made for each other, weren't we, honey?

We were, Adela.

We are each other's destiny.

But I do not understand why your brother's marrying that girl.

She's very ugly and she's very stupid.

Well, he loves her, Duncan. Love is strange.

Did you say you have something you want to show me?

I did that. Our engagement ring. I sent for it.

Isn't that wonderful? I can hardly wait.

I hope you weren't too extravagant.

It's not a valuable ring,

but it belonged to the MacGregors. That was my mother's name.

Oh! Why, it's lovely.

I love sentiment... so much better than all the diamonds...

I'd like to give you diamonds, George-Anne, and pearls too.

- Would you really? - But I'm not a wealthy man.

Oh, now, don't try to make me think that, Duncan.

You're sure they're the Carletons, Sergeant?

Positive, Lieutenant.

The Monte Carlo police sent photographs.

Four of a kind...

And the kind we don't want around here.

Come on.

I have advised Mr. Jennings not to worry about this check.

I'm thunderstruck, sir. Utterly thunderstruck.

Did I say thunderstruck?

Yes, dear.

Tell me, Colonel,

you have never been in the Bengal Lancers, have you?

My dear sir, when my regiment was quartered in India-

In fact, you have never been in India.

These reports from Canada of your earlier life...

"'Sweethearts of the Bengal Lancers' with the original Toronto cast-."

If this is some low jest of yours, sir...

What is the proposition?

The municipality would feel a distinct gratitude

if you would be kind enough to continue your operations elsewhere.

If I were so disposed, sir, I would consider your remarks insulting.

What my father is trying to say

is that we would be very pleased to cooperate with the municipality,

but unfortunately, we have no money-.

In fact, thanks to your interference,

you find us completely destitute.

Mr. Jennings thought as much,

and asked me to present you with these tickets to London,

with his compliments.

Colonel Anthony Carleton, Bengal Lancers, at your service. I...

You haven't changed much since those days, darling.

Is that so, really?

Only your hair's really getting gray now, instead of being a wig.

But when you jumped up just then,

you look just like you used to in the second act

when you talked to Lady Gretchley. Remember?

Ah, beautiful scene, that. Beautiful.

"And you, Lady Gretchley,

"rest assured that I, Colonel Anthony Carleton,

"will so and so and so and so

"with my life against these villainous natives

"until my so and so and so and so.

Bengal Lancers arrive!"

Colonel Anthony Carleton... How we loved that name

when we first rehearsed the play that night in Toronto.

We've sort of taken the name for granted, now.

Do you remember how they always cheered

at my speech at the end of the second act?

"So and so and so and so,

forward march!"

A splendid play!

Well, it had its moments, my dear, it had its moments.

He's very well-known as Algy.

To the girls of Mandalay.

He was a capital something Algy.

So bold, so brave, so gay.

He's la-Ia-Ia-Ia favorite Algy.

How he made the barmaids sigh.

He was very well-known, was Algy.

A Piccadilly captain with a little glass eye.

Tell me just one thing, please... What have you to sing about?

They're getting sentimental. Come on. Let's get out of here.

The workings of the Sahib's mind are a deep, dark mystery.

Yeah. Marmy's too.

$3 million tossed away, and they sing!

And we nearly had it right in our hands,

if the Sahib had been content with three million.

But no. He had to have that extra $4,500.

And get us in a jam besides.

Rick, did you say good-bye to Adela?

Saying good-bye to $3 million was all the good-bye I could stand.

I just wish we knew what we're going to do now.

I've never been so hungry in my life!

By the way, didn't I see you with a new ring on last night?

I thought perhaps when we got on the train,

we might be able to swap it for a couple of chops.

Oh, that ring wasn't mine. I just borrowed it for the evening.

Too bad.

What's the matter with us, anyway? Why can't we ever own anything?

Nobody ever owns anything except nice, dull people.

And they always get on to us sooner or later.

Yeah, we're too well-dressed.

Hmm. That won't last long.

I doubt if there's a dressmaker left in Paris who'll stake us anymore.

Marmy will always find you clothes somehow, don't worry.

Bravo. Bravo.

He thinks we're sweethearts-.

- Rick? - What?

Did you ever know anybody who married for love?

I mean where... where somebody who didn't have any money

married somebody who didn't have any money.

What did you say they married for?

Well, for love. You know.

No.

No.

Do you think people like that are ever happy?

Anything particular in mind?

Oh, no, no. I was just thinking.

Well, there's Marmy and Sahib. They seem happy enough,

and I can't think when they've ever had any money.

Oh, they're different, though, poor darlings.

HOW?

Oh, both a little barmy.

I mean just normal people, people who work for a living.

What are you getting at? What's happened to you, anyway?

Why? What do you mean?

What are you getting so soft about?

Soft? Well, I don't know what you're talking about.

It's only... only...

Only what?

Only... I didn't even say good-bye.

Oh, you're not in love with that Scotsman, are you?

Oh, how could I be in love with him?

He hasn't any money!

Then I can't think what you have to cry about.

Neither can I!

I wonder how long it takes a person to starve to death?

Just depends-I've known some to drop off in a fortnight-.

Who do you think will last longer, Marmy or Sahib?

Oh, Marmy.

I think the Sahib will. He's more optimistic.

Well, Marmy's tougher.

The Sahib's a better bluffer, though.

He'll overplay his hand like he does his cards,

and he'll be dead before he knows it.

This way, sir.

Police-Cheating at cards- Fortune hunters-.

Bengal Lancers.

- Oh. - Oh!

Oh!

- Come here. - Why... why, hello, Duncan.

Where did you come from?

And don't try to be offhand with me, George-Anne. I'm very, very angry.

I had to take a flying machine to catch you,

and I cannot afford to hire flying machines to chase you about.

Well, nobody asked you to chase me about.

You're a daft and undependable female.

Don't you dare judge me that way, Duncan Macrae.

Stand still and listen to me.

We're going to be married to each other.

We're not going to be married to each other.