South Park

Dad...

Dad, I love you.

I love you so much, Dad.

What is it, Scott?

90, Mom.

Okay. Great.

Dad.

I love you.

What?

I love you so much, Dad.

Please, can we get Disney+?

God damn it. Not this shit again!

No. We don't need Disney **** +, Scott!

We've got cable, and that's enough.

All this talk about Disney+ and CBS Max

and shit on a **** extreme prime.

Where's it gonna end?!

Straight to **** hell, that's where.

I'm going to work.

Shit!

Asshole.

Mkay, kids. If we can all be quiet, please.

Today is a very special day

because we have a new student who has just moved to town

and will be starting her scholastic adventures

here in South Park.

I know you are all going to be very kind

and make her feel at home.

Pfffft. Yeah.

Please say hi to Sophie Gray.

Hey, guys.

Um... well, I moved here from Arizona.

I really like soccer,

and I love "The Mandalorian."

And, um...

I guess one thing about me

that might be kind of different is that...

I have diabetes.

Say what?!

I have a thing called diabetes.

It's a condition that

affects the way my body processes sugar.

I have to check my blood sugar once in a while,

and sometimes I have...

...part of who I am.

Oh! And I also have a pony.

Holy shit, you guys! What am I gonna do?!

About what? About Sophie Gray!

She's my boo! I love her!

What am I supposed to say to her?

Scott, you can't be with Sophie Gray.

She has diabetes.

I know! That's why she's perfect!

No, Scott, If you and Sophie have a baby,

it'll have super diabetes.

I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure

that causes a crater on the Earth.

That girl is pretty fly.

As soon as she said she watches "Mandalorian,"

it gave me a little boner.

If you wanna be with the new girl,

you're gonna have some stiff competition.

Get it? S‐Stiff...

c‐c‐c‐c...

competition.

But she has diabetes!

You guys always rip on me for having diabetes!

You guys always rip on me for having diabetes.

I'm Scott Malkinson.

Oh, no! Not this time!

You assholes aren't ruining Scott Malkinson's life again!

I'm taking control, you understand?

I'm taking control, you understand.

- I'm Scott Malkinson. - I have diabetes.

Hey, Clark. Clark, you there?

This is Clark. Go ahead.

Yeah, hey. I think we actually have a job.

The Stotches need their cable box looked at.

Alright. I'm on it!

Now, listen, Clark.

Part of why we're losing customers

is because people say our service is slow.

Don't worry. I'll be there as fast as I can!

Welcome to McDonald's. Can I take your order?

Number 3 Value Meal. No pickle.

Oh. Well, finally.

The cable company gave us a window

of noon to 5:00 for you to show up.

It's 5:15.

Only 15 minutes late.

This is why we should quit cable

and just go to streaming services.

Oh! You want quantity over quality?!

Streaming services are destroying our town!

People don't watch and bond over the same shows anymore.

Everyone watches something different.

'Cause you got assholes in Hollywood

making little niche programs for everybody.

That's what you want?!

Yeah, I think I do.

Goth Kid: Uh, hi. You're the new girl, right?

Just wanted to say, you know...

welcome to the school.

Oh, thanks! That's really nice of you.

I was wondering if, maybe sometime,

well, I could show you around, if you need it.

Wow! That'd be great.

A couple of the other guys offered, too.

Yeah.

A lot of the guys here are posers, though.

- You gotta be careful. - That's funny.

Another one of the guys said that.

He was the tall kid that kind of dresses like you?

Oh, yeah. He's a total poser.

God damn it.

Assholes.

Yeah, and so my dad actually still lives in Scottsdale.

Scottsdale. I love it there.

Hey, Sophie. How's it going?

Aah! Watch it, dork.

I have something really important to tell you, Sophie.

It can't wait.

Oh, okay. I'll see you around, huh?

Yeah. Sure thing.

So, um...

You have diabetes, right?

Yeah.

I...

have diabetes.

Oh.

So...

what do you wanna do now?

So...

What's your favorite food that you can't eat?

Mine's waffles.

Um... I haven't really thought about it.

Oh...

Do you watch "The Mandalorian" on Disney+?

Oh, uh, yeah. Of course.

I love "The Mandalorian!" Right?

It's the best Star Wars thing since "Empire."

Makes all the new movies look like dog shit.

Yeah. Like stupid dog shit.

Hey! You're the new girl, right?

She's busy!!

Hey, are you gonna watch the new episode on Friday?

We could watch it together if you want.

Oh, my God. I would love that.

Okay. I'll come over right when it starts streaming!

Oh!

Well...

The thing is... I mean...

Timmy!

She's busy,

and she's watching "Mandalorian" at my house!

Timmy...

Look at that. Look!

240 channels

of anything we want to watch.

- No accounts. - No **** passwords.

Just pure, simple, basic cable.

Ma! Dad! Guess what!

Not now, Scott.

Your mom and I are enjoying watching whatever we want

and not signing up for anything.

But, Dad, there's this new girl at school,

and she has diabetes!

Oh! That's wonderful, Scott!

Yeah, and guess what?

She wants to come over to our house!

So, we have to get Disney+!

Aw! Not this shit again!

The answer is no!

Dad, please! This is my life!

Streaming services are destroying

our culture, Scott!

People got a thousand shows at their fingertips 24/7,

so now Hollywood has to make shows within their shows

to make more shows!

But, Dad, what's wrong with people

watching what they wanna watch when they wanna watch it?

What's wrong with people

watching what they want when they wanna watch it?

I'm Scott Malkinson. I have diabetes.

Unbelievable!

Yeah, it's me.

It's time we took all these streaming services down.

Tell all the guys we're meeting A. S. A. P.,

in a window between 10:00 a. m. And 2:00 p. m. on Thursday.

God damn it! Where are they?

We're gonna run out of time!

Where the hell have you guys been?

You gave us a window of 10:00 a. m. to 2:00 p. m.

It's 1:50.

Between 10:00 and 2:00

doesn't mean you wait until one **** fifty!

Wow.

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong is that we're losing our asses

to these streaming sons a bitches!