Mr. Robot

If they show up and we're gone, my family's dead.

My life puts everyone I love in danger.

My instructions were to find your brother.

Well, in that case, my phone's not gonna do you any good.

I just wiped it.

Do you think it's possible

Mr. Robot is the reason why you can't remember?

You didn't exist when I was a kid, did you?

- Shh. - Do not do this to him!

He's not supposed to know!

Why were you afraid of your father?

Were you afraid he was going to ask you

to do something you didn't want to do?

Yes.

This was our runaway hideout. He always came here.

Remember somehow we ended up at the Queens Museum instead?

When you're eight, running away can be fun.

20, 19, 18,

17, 16, 15,

14, 13, 12...

What?

Who cares what I'm doing?

It's none of your business. Don't worry about it.

I gotta do this. It's gonna help us.

Just trust me.

Ready or not, here I come!

Angela's not gonna find us here.

Just give me a sec.

I heard that!

You suck at this game!

I see you, butthead!

I killed him.

I killed him.

Okay, Elliot, we need to call the police.

His phone's ringing.

Oh, God.

The others are coming back. Did you hear me?

We're not safe in this place anymore!

Elliot, you gotta listen to me.

Listen to me. You gotta listen to me, Elliot.

We have to go. Elliot, we have to go!

We have to leave, Elliot. You have to get up.

Elliot!

Elliot!

Elliot, look at me.

Elliot! Elliot!

Elliot! Elliot!

Yo, make it plain.

Yo, he's not picking up, bro,

and I gotta fucking piss.

Man, I told you

at the Arby's up around the way, bro.

I'm not sitting on no dirty-ass toilet seat, bro.

You know they be getting hep C up they ass

in they pores and shit sitting on that toilet, bro?

Man, I'm... I'm going inside, bro.

Yo, yo.

Boss told us stay here till he done, son.

Bro, I'm gonna be quiet.

Yo, you don't wanna know what's going on up there?

Come on, bro.

That was some cliff-hanger shit they left us on.

Yeah, man. Come on, bro.

Yo, Arby's be delicious, though.

Got that five for five.

Shit's the fiscally responsible meal.

Man, I don't care about fiscally.

When it come to food,

I'm treating myself, man, period.

- Yo, you ever had Momofuku? - Nah, see?

Yeah, you probably can't afford that.

I ain't never had Momofukus, bro.

I don't even know what that shit be.

You know what that shit be?

Oh, shit, bro!

What the fuck?

Oh, sh...

What are you doing, dummy?

Grab his wallet. Let's go.

Fuck.

Okay, come on.

We're gonna just get in this taxi.

Let's go. You're just fine.

Thank you. Just hold the taxi.

Come on, let's go. We gotta go.

Gotta go. It's okay.

I got you. There you go.

All right.

Okay, take us to the nearest police station, please.

The nearest police station.

From everyone here at the E Corp family

to you and yours,

we're wishing you a happy holiday season...

Slapjack!

Nuh-uh, my hand was there first.

Doesn't matter. I called it first, doofus.

Don't call me doofus, dingus.

All right, all right. Official ruling.

You each get half the cards.

- But, Aunt Trudie... - No buts.

I am the referee.

It's not fair.

Well, that's the way it's gotta be.

You're splitting the baby.

You can split my dick hole!

Thomas Alan DiPierro, you apologize this instant!

- But, Mom... - Now, young man,

or I'm taking your iPad.

Sorry, Aunt Trudie.

Now you go take a time-out in the living room

and think about what you said.

Stupid idiot.

Think you can tell me what to do.

- What was that, young man? - Nothing.

Ugh, I'm so embarrassed.

I don't know where he got that language from.

His father.

Probably letting him watch SummerSlam again,

the son of a bitch.

- Mama? - Not now, Tommy.

- Mama! - I said not now, Tommy!

Mama! Mama!

Did you know that cities were created by lightning?

It's true.

I heard it on a podcast.

Villages used to be made of organic materials.

Mostly mud, sticks.

Then one night about 12,000 years ago,

a bolt of lightning hit a chunk of limestone...

Which formed a powder that we now know is...

Anyone?

Cement?

Very smart, Darlene.

You're absolutely right.

Just think what a different world it would be

if that lightning had struck a tree

or a puppy instead.

This remarkable city you see before you

would be nothing but sticks and leaves and...

Puppy shit.

But the lightning hit stone,

and the people of Turkey awoke to find that they

were in the cradle of modern civilization,

all from one perfect moment of violent convergence.

Isn't it wonderful?

Destruction can be so productive.

Her phone is useless. There's nothing here.

She wiped it clean.

I had hoped for better news.

I told you you were wasting your time.

Looks like you're just going to have to restore

your phone for us yourself.

Eat shit. Then die.

Oh, nasty mouth on this one.

She doesn't know anything.

And even if she did, she wouldn't give her brother up.

Trust me.

Well, I wish I could, Dominique,

but you failed me, remember?

Of course, I always held out hope that you would rise

to the occasion when the time came,

but in the back of my mind,

I always knew you'd never be able to see it through.

Why? Because I'm not a murderer?

You work for the federal government

of the United States of America.

What are you, trying to be funny?

No, what I meant was is we all know how much

you care about Darlene.

What?

The hell are you talking about?

Oh, you know.

Miss Alderson's interrogation video?

The one you pleasure yourself to?

In private?

I mean, all that excess energy may be the reason

you can't get any sleep, Dominique,

but in any case,

it's pretty strong evidence

of your affection for Miss Alderson,

wouldn't you say?

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Did she not know?

Uh, that is...

Embarrassing.

Um, I apologize.

But...

While we're at it...

What did happen between the two of you?

I mean, it just all seemed quite... dramatic.

We fucked, end of story.

Mm, come on, now.

I have a feeling there's a lot more

to this relationship than just that.

Just sex.

Sorry to disappoint you.

I don't believe you, so... no worries there.

Disappointment averted.

Look, cunt stick.

I don't know what you're driving at,