Spinning Into Butter

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- Good morning. - Hey.

- Good morning. - Hey.

- Hey. - Hi.

Dean Daniels?

That'd be me.

- I got a note in my box that said you wanted to see me.

I sent out a lot of notes.

I need you to tell me your name.

- Oh, sorry. Patrick Chibas.

- Oh, Patrick. Great.

Come on in.

How was your summer?

- I waited tables at this fusion place

in the East Village.

- Good money? - Yeah.

Am I in trouble?

- No, no. Not at all. No.

You declared an environmental sciences major

last spring?

Yeah.

- Well, we have a scholarship that's designated for--

well, it's designated

for an outstanding minority student

in environmental sciences,

and I just wondered if you might be interested.

Sure.

- Well, there's just one thing then.

I need to ask you, Patrick,

On your Belmont application, you--

well, under the voluntary disclosure

of your racial/ethnic background,

you marked "other."

- Yeah. I'm New Yorican.

- New Yorican? - Yeah.

A New Yorker of Puerto Rican descent.

Right.

Do you think-- uh...

would it be fair for me to say, then,

that you're hispanic?

- What's wrong with New Yorican?

- Well, nothing, of course.

- Then why don't you just say that?

- Because the scholarship committee is--

well, they're not culturally sensitive,

if you know what I mean.

No.

- They're old, and, just trust me on this,

the simpler the better with these folks.

- You do understand why I don't want

to be called hispanic, don't you?

Well, as I understand it,

and correct me, please, if I'm wrong,

it's because it really only refers

to imperialists of European descent

who colonized Puerto Rico.

- Yeah, I mean, if you understand, then--

Then why am I suggesting it?

That's a good question.

You're right.

I shouldn't compromise your feelings

for the sake of expediency.

I'm sorry.

That's okay.

- How about just plain Puerto Rican?

No.

- It's a $12,000 scholarship, Patrick.

It is?

- You are a remarkably talented student, Patrick,

and I think you should be rewarded

in a meaningful way.

You can put "Puerto Rican."

Thank you.

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Fuck.

- Dean Daniels. - Yeah.

I'm Nathan Glazer, the R.A.

Security's waiting inside.

- And the student? - Yeah.

What's his name?

Simon Brick.

Thanks.

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They're right in here.

- And neither of you guys heard anything last night?

Hey.

Oh, hello.

Sarah, this is Jason... - Thorn.

He found the note.

You must be Simon.

How'd you guess?

- I'm Sarah Daniels, the Dean of Students.

Are you okay?

I guess.

What did the note say?

Uh, notes, plural.

- He found the other one last week.

Why didn't you tell someone?

- I just figured some asshole put 'em there.

That's an understatement.

This is serious shit.

- I didn't want to make a big deal.

I just got here.

I don't want everyone to know who I am like that.

So you don't have a roommate?

I live next door.

No, this is a single.

Did you request it?

Yeah.

You're lucky, man.

My roommate stinks, literally.

His--his feet--

Okay.

More to the point...

we're gonna find out who did this,

and we're gonna put an end to it.

Would you like to talk to somebody,

maybe go see one of the counselors

over at Student Health?

- You know, I think I'd really just like

to go to class.

- If there's anything that I can do,

call me.

Thank you.

Thanks.

- Has anyone had a run-in with Simon?

The opposite.

Everybody seems to like him.

I made a point of asking him to meals the first week

since he didn't have a roommate.

He's real shy.

Okay.

Well, call us if you think of anything.

- You could, uh, put guards at the doors

is something I thought of.

- Yeah, I'd have to clear it with President Garvey.

And tell your freshmen not to prop the doors open, hmm?

Thanks, Nathan.

Let's make copies of those notes,

and then you can give the originals to the police.

- You want me to call the police?

Of course.

What?

- President Garvey will want to handle it internally.

He's being threatened.

It's up to you.

Call the police.

Yes, ma'am.

- These winter term classes are an embarrassment.

Wine tasting?

The films of Brigitte Bardot?

I teach that.

- Well, we can't be too demanding

in the winter term.

Why not?

- Because it is one month in the winter,

and that's when they all ski, all right?

67% of students surveyed said the ski slopes

were a deciding factor in choosing Belmont

over competing colleges.

You're late.

There's a problem.

God.

- I have never seen anything like this before.

- Is he all right? Is he frightened?

- I mean, we might as well be in Mississippi, 1963.

All we need is guys with hoods burning crosses on the quad.

Is that a plan?

- It had to be someone from town.

- Oh, because rural America is racist?

- Because it couldn't be someone from here?

What do we do?

- President Garvey is speaking in Boston.

I can't call him for another hour,

so it gives us time to come up with something.

Jeffrey, give me Rita Chambers in the press office.

- I bet they don't do a damn thing.

- I bet they'll expel him. - Or her.

- We have to let people know this isn't Belmont.

We should issues some sort of a statement right away

condemning this.

- Well, shouldn't we try to find out who did it first?

- They should have an all-campus meeting,

get it out in the open.

I bet you they call one

of those useless all-campus meetings.

An all-campus meeting.

That feels like the kind of response we should have.

Doesn't it? - Yeah.

- In case any of the parents call.

- You could sell it as a learning experience.

It is a learning experience.

- And it will get everybody on board, too,