Taking Woodstock

Don't jump in the pool.

The water we put in next week for the summer.

...in South Vietnam ground war.

The U.S. command reports 148 Americans killed in the war last week,

the lowest weekly figure in six months. 1,612 Americans were...

...they barely look like they've been warned.

There was exchange of fire south of

the Sea of Galilee and across the Suez Canal.

These exchanges and raids are now a daily part of Israeli life,

and the country is prepared for anything.

NBC news correspondent, David Burrington, reports.

In spite of all the border turmoil,

Israeli intelligence officers do not expect all-out war this summer

unless the Arab nations get reckless.

And that's the main worry here,

that Arab frustration will suddenly explode...

In a day of intensive activity,

Captain Neil Armstrong and his crew

entered the final phase of preparations

for the July 16th launch of Apollo 11.

NASA officials report

that the third and final day of launching pad tests proceeded smoothly,

while inside the training center,

the astronauts performed simulated moon walks in their space suits.

What? Excuse me. I can't possibly stay.

This establishment isn't fit for human habitation.

Fine, go. Yes, well, here's your key.

It didn't fit the lock, but the door was open in any case.

You went into the room? I did, yes.

And now I must insist on you returning my $8.

After you already used the room?

What kind of scam are you running?

And besides...

Well, this is ridiculous!

The so-called air conditioner was just

an empty plastic box in the window.

The room was filthy. Indeed, I discovered a small hair on the pillow.

There wasn't even a towel in the bathroom.

- Ma. - What?

Please, we're late already.

My son, thank God you're here.

This man is threatening me for a refund!

I'm sorry. You're over $5,000 in arrears on the mortgage.

The home office is breathing down my neck.

Mr. Spiers, the El Monaco Resort...

It's a resort now?

...and Motel is my parents' lifeblood.

With the addition of the swimming pool

and these new town-wide marketing initiatives...

Initiatives?

As you know, I have been elected the President

of the Bethel Chamber of Commerce.

The youngest president in their history.

We've decided to erect a tourist information booth, right off 17B.

I have agreed, on behalf of the El Monaco,

to lease at no cost some road frontage to the endeavor,

which should coincidentally drive heavy tourist traffic right to our door.

In addition... Please, Elliot,

you know I do everything I can to help.

We even bought one of your paintings.

But don't try to sell me on those singles weekends

or the culture festival or whatever other schemes

were supposed to dig you out last summer.

We've decided to go classical with the festival this year,

maybe a string quartet, more contemporary, like Morton Feldman?

Very avant-garde. And we've got a theater troupe in the barn.

You have a theater troupe in the barn?

The Earthlight Players. Vassar graduates, some of them.

They live in the barn?

They do everything in the barn.

You haven't seen the sign? What sign?

The sign in front of the barn.

Mr. Spiers, my God, please. We come here, begging,

begging for mercy, and what do you give us?

This fixation about the barn. What is it with you and the barn?

I was just... I'm an old woman, Mr. Spiers. I've suffered.

I walked here all the way from Minsk, in Russia,

in 20-foot snow drifts, 1,000 miles across Siberia.

I escaped the pogroms, the Tsar's secret police,

with nothing but cold potatoes in my pockets.

Mrs. Teichberg, please... And for what?

For more persecution! It's because we're Jewish.

I know it, isn't it? Mrs. Teichberg, please.

This is the Catskills.

Half the summer colonies are Jewish, they're all our clients.

Until the day they need you, and then on goes the gas!

Ma, calm down, please?

Jackson, just give us a couple of months.

The summer season's coming up, I honestly do have some real money

owed me from my interior design business in the city.

Please?

Please?

Mother-son ballroom class will start immediately after, at 11:00.

That's kinder-dancing for the kiddies in 10 minutes.

Dad, you gotta get Ma to lay off

the Nazi stuff and let me handle this.

You think I can tell your mother what to do?

I gotta get back to the city. I'll see you Friday.

We'll get the money.

Let them take this miserable dump.

I'll die in peace, in Florida.

Mr. Tiber. George.

I admitted your sister some time ago. Thanks.

And some gentlemen from the moving company.

Oh, yeah.

There you are. Hi, Sis.

How did it go at the bank?

How do you think it went? Till the end of the summer, that's it.

What about the money those mobsters owe you

for that nightclub you designed?

They have a surprisingly strict policy about paying designers.

They don't.

You want some more paintings?

No, I already have 10 of them. And you know Joe hates them.

Of course you're broke,

after all the money you've sunk into that hellhole of theirs.

And I bet Ma's never even said a word of thanks, has she?

No, but I can sense it.

The special way she sometimes looks at me

with just her left eye, you know.

Elliot. Now is your time

to go to California like you've always wanted,

to paint and design. Be free, stop throwing your life away up there.

I can't give up on them now. Why not?

I'm the one they still want around.

I guess that means they love me more than you.

That must be a great consolation to you.

Dad, that's bleach for laundry.

It kills the germs. What's the difference?

Elli? What? What are you doing with those sheets?

They're dirty. Let me see. Nothing.

Those two, they didn't do nothing in there. Shake them, put them back.

But, Ma... Electricity, detergent,

who's paying for all that?

And you, theater girl, get back in the barn!

All of you!

Lazy people.

Let's call to order. Come on, everyone.

Last meeting, we all said we'd each bring some new ideas to the table.

Well, okay.

We got a lot of dairy farms around here, right?

And a fair number of bulls.

Okay, you've all heard of the running

of the bulls in that town in Spain,

Pampoona. Pamplona.

Well, no one's doing one in the Catskills.

Seems to be a big draw over there.

It would be very amusing to see all those Jews

from Levitsky's summer colony,

you know, the ones with the black top hats and the curls,

running for their lives chased by our local livestock.

Wouldn't that be a wonderful sight!

We're writing it all down.

Any other ideas? What about the monorail?

Marge, you can't bring that up in every meeting.

I've written to the Governor,

but I think a letter from the entire Chamber of Commerce

would be much more effective.

A monorail linking downtown New York to White Lake

would be a tremendous spur to the local economy.

Jesus. Look, people, I said I would come back to these meetings

if you could stay out of cuckoo land, just once.

We have some serious local issues, serious business to do.

Such as?

For starters,

I need a permit for the town landing

for a fish-toss tournament next month.

I knew it. I knew it. You're just back here for your own purposes.

Now, come on, Marge. All right, let's see the application.

I got it here.

Yeah, that's all in order. $1.

Here you go.

And I've got my application for our annual

El Monaco summer music and art event,

which will also inaugurate the first season

of the tourist information kiosk.

Annie, if your grandson and his friends want to play again this year,

tell them to give me a call.

Okay.

Do I hear a motion to approve these permits?

I so move. Okay. Seconded?

Seconded?

Oh, for crying out loud, seconded.

Good night. Good night.

Good night, Annie. Night, Elliot.

See you, Elliot.

Bye, everyone. - Night, Elliot.

Good night, Carol. Fuck! Fuck! Take him down, motherfuckers!

- Jesus! - Billy, get back in the car.

What? Back in the car.

Hey, Billy, you're back. That's great.

Yeah.

Staying with big brother Dan and his beautiful wife Carol here

till I get my own pad.

Yeah, 'cause little brother Billy

made a tiny little pit stop in Bangkok

and blew all his Army pay. Didn't he, Billy?

Bangkok, man. Fucking Bangkok.

Come on, we gotta go.

Great seeing you back home, Billy.