Players

Jesus Christ, what are you doing?

Somebody is in here.

Bruce, it's okay.

No, it's not okay.

Somebody could be ripping you off.

Hey, barb, you gonna make some coffee?

Who is that?

In a second!

Who is that, Barb?

His name is Todd.

Who is Todd?

He's my husband.

We're separated.

We're still married, but we're separated.

If you're separated, why is he in your apartment

At 6:30 in the morning?

He lives here.

I know, that sounds... Terrible.

That's not a separation, barb.

I know it doesn't sound like it is,

But he doesn't live... he doesn't stay here.

He stays in the computer room next door.

We have totally separate lives.

He's looking for another place as we speak.

I couldn't just throw him out on the streets.

I'm so sorry, bruce.

I was trying...I meant to tell you, it just...

Okay, I get it.

We're good.

You're roommates.

Well...

Yeah, technically, we are.

But, I mean, I...

Imagine this must be very difficult...

No. For you to hear.

I mean, he's cool with it, you're cool with it.

So of course I'm cool with it.

What do you think the reservations book is for?

I think it's for reservations.

Oh, so you can imagine my surprise

When I found page after page

Of hangman and tic-tac-toe in here.

Well, it's not like anybody

Actually ever makes a reservation.

Of course they don't, because think think that the book

Is filled up with your doodles.

I'm sure that's it.

What are you doing?

I'm writing what you told me in my journal.

Why would you keep a journal in the reservation book?

I don't keep it in the reservation book.

I'm not an idiot.

Don't ever touch the reservation book again.

Understand?

Don't go looking for my secrets.

Don't you squint your eyes at me in anger...Ever!

It was nice talking to you, bruce, on our way in

From the parking lot.

Wow, that's strange.

You guys both have the same travel mug.

You must also go to that coffee silo

On route 17.

Yes, I went there this morning,

Even though it's five miles out of my way.

Yes, but you really love their coffee,

So that would make sense.

I think that's self-evident, barb.

'cause I have it in my hand. Okay.

Ahem, so let's... Start the meeting.

Actually, the meeting is just finishing.

So if no one has any other business, I move to adjourn.

Oh, I actually have a question.

Yes? I'm curious.

If I were to start working at a restaurant

I used to work at,

How would that make you feel?

Are you working at a restaurant

That you used to work at?

Well, my response to that would be,

Why would it matter if you've moved on,

Have a healthy relationship with your current restaurant,

Then old restaurants don't matter.

It matters because there's an employer-employee bond,

Which is sacred.

Now, if there's something wrong with this restaurant

That's not satisfying you,

I think you should discuss that with me...

You seem really upset, ken.

I think this restaurant is satisfying...

Very angry. Yes!

Yes!

I think this restaurant satisfies her.

I'm sorry that we don't have a lot of fancy brass

And fake knickknacks.

This is the real deal, young lady.

And a lot ofomen would be very happy

To be in this restaurant.

So the next time you feel a need

To take your little order pad and drag it through town

Like nasty whore,

How 'bout giving me a heads-up! Hey!

Uh, bruce, that travel mug you have

That looks nothing like barb's

Is leaking all over you.

Thank you. Mm.

Order up.

Krista. Yeah?

I need you to do me a huge favor.

Sure.

I need you to tell bruce that it's insane

To be in a relationship with me.

Why would I do that?

You guys are so cute and pathetic together.

Thank you.

I told him this morning that I'm still married

And still living with my husband,

And he had no reaction.

That's what makes bruce awesome.

I mean, it's insane to be in a relationship

With someone who's married.

If I had stayed away from married men,

I would have missed out

On one of the most passionate relationships

In my entire life.

Larry...

What are you doin' here?

That's so weird.

Larry, who is this?

Larry...

Hot dog?

That was a great weekend.

Don't judge me, jorge.

I know you have two wives.

I don't know.

I still feel like if he really cared about me,

This would upset him.

Do you really want to make bruce jealous?

Yes.

Are you prepared to break him in a way

You've never broken another man in your entire life?

Absolutely.

Let's talk.

Hey.

Hey, sweetie.

Listen...Sorry I was so grumpers this morning.

That's okay. Where were you for lunch?

I promised Todd

I'd take his wrestling trophies to get cleaned.

Ugh, that sounds tedious.

Yeah, my arm is killing me.

They're so heavy.

There's so many of them.

There's like a million trophies.

Um, state champ.

State champ. State champ.

It's so annoying.

He's, like, good at everything.

Oh, man.

That's why my bag was so heavy.

My wedding album... Was in here.

What?

So crazy.

Don't know how that got in there.

Man, this was one of the happiest days of my life.

Bruce, I did not want you to see

These erotic pictures of me and todd.

These are not for your eyes.

I am so embarrassed right now.

Oh...Sorry.

That is so uncomfortable.

Barb, this makes me furious.

It does? Yeah.

How the hell do you get on google?

Do you know how?

No, I don't know.

Look, if you don't want to clean todd's trophies,

Get jorge to do it.

Hey, Cal, take this donut of mine, would you?

What's wrong with it?

I'm looking at gunshot wound website here,

And it's making me sick.

Hey. Hey, Bruce!

Can I talk to you? Yeah, what do you got?

You know that me and barb have been seeing each other, right?

You'd have to be a moron not to know that.

Okay.

You and barb are seeing each other?

Yeah.

This is awesome!

Bruce, it may come as a surprise to you,

But I've always thought of you as kind of a father.

Like, barb's like, kind of like my mom

A little bit, so...

It's like my mom and my dad

Are hooking up for the first time.

This is awesome!

Can you watch the bar really quick?

I have to go journal about this.

Okay.

Anyway, she just told me