Red Oaks

All right, all right.

Honey, you want some bacon?

It's not actually bacon. It's this stuff, Sizzlean,

that my doctor wants me to eat.

I wonder if it's kosher. No, it's not.

It's not kosher. It's, uh... Pork is the first ingredient.

Dude, fuck NYU. You don't need them.

Plenty of cool directors never went to film school,

like Kubrick and, um...

- Kurosawa. - Exactly.

- And that's just the K's. - Mm-hmm.

I don't know, I can't help thinking maybe it's a sign,

like I'm wasting my time, fooling myself.

I mean, let's face it, just 'cause I like movies

and screwing around with video cameras and Super-8 doesn't make me Spielberg.

Maybe it's time I face facts and move on like you have with Misty.

I didn't really have a choice.

Still.

Man, our lives really suck balls.

All right, I gotta get going.

What are you wearing?

Figured it would help me get into character.

I shaved three times this morning.

Shit. Sorry, dude.

Do you ever regret dropping out of college?

Sometimes.

I mean, if I hadn't, Misty would probably respect me more now.

Then again, I probably wouldn't be working at Red Oaks,

and she and I wouldn't have become friends in the first place.

Wish me luck.

Next.

Sorry.

- Name. - Levine, Zachary.

Registration and I.D., please.

It says here you weigh 145 pounds.

Yeah, I'm a big stress eater.

Next.

Name.

I've got to give you credit, boychick.

Most of my assistants over the years

have been young men of limited ambition

who were content to set their romantic sights

on lowly maids and massage therapists.

But not you. No.

You went and bagged the president's daughter.

- It's not like that. - Bup-bup-bup-bup-bup.

Don't apologize.

It's inspiring.

In fact, it's made me realize

I've been setting my own sights too low.

I deserve to be with a higher class of woman,

a woman of culture and refinement,

one who appreciates me not only for my athleticism

and brooding good looks, but for what's in here.

Aha.

Top of the morning to you, Mr. Getty.

- I wanna hit! - Okay, just wait here and I'll...

Not with you!

I'll get my racquet.

Next time you pick up my daughter,

I appreciate if you have the courtesy to come inside.

Don't just sit in the car honking like a fucking airport shuttle.

- Sorry. - It's called showing respect.

Yes, sir.

And bring her home at a decent hour.

What's a decent hour?

Midnight.

Isn't that kind of early? I mean, she's 21.

Midnight.

Shall we? All right.

David, if you would clear the court, please.

Forehand or backhand today, sir?

Oh, I think you're gonna like this one.

Mmm. Oh!

- Hi, Herb. - Hey, kid.

- How's school? - I didn't get in the program I wanted,

so I'm kind of taking a break.

Smart. Pace yourself.

You got your whole life to make good decisions.

I gotta go teach a lesson.

Dude, how'd it go?

It was fine.

- Nobody was suspicious? - Nope.

Thanks, man. You saved my life.

Wait. I have something for you, too.

- What's this? - Faulkner.

"The Sound and the Fury."

Tough read, but totally worth it.

It'll do more to build your vocab and reading comprehension

than any stupid SAT book.

- Thanks, Wheeler. - Hey.

Come across any words you don't know, come find me.

I gotta go run this out to the pool.

- Need anything else? - No.

Oh...

Here you go, Mrs. Getty.

- Enjoy. - Thank you, Wilder.

- It's Wheeler. - It's Wheeler, ma'am.

- Whatever. - It's a little early in the day

for happy hour, don't you think?

- What? - I just need your account number, sir.

- Really? - Yes. I'm sorry.

I'm new to this job. I'm sure I'll have it memorized soon.

- It's 418. - Thank you, sir.

Jesus Christ.

You know, it wouldn't kill you to be nicer to people.

- What people? - She means the help.

She's concerned for their wellbeing

now that she's dating one.

Why should I be nice to them?

- Karma. - Karma.

Yeah. You know, the Hindu concept?

I tip them so I don't have to be nice.

That's the American concept.

How about out you give your lungs a break, huh?

- You smoke. - Cigars don't count.

Why not?

Because they don't give you lung cancer.

No, just mouth cancer.

- So that's fine. - That's not a real thing.

- Yes, it is. - No, it's not.

- Name one person who's ever died of mouth cancer. - Sigmund Freud.

It wasn't cigars that killed that guy.

It was a dirty mind.

Seriously, sweetie, I really don't like you smoking.

That's too bad. I'm a grown woman.

I did it all the time in Paris.

Well, this isn't Paris.

I'm going for a swim.

Two weeks.

She's home two weeks, and already you're at each other's throat.

You both drive me crazy.

Hey, you're Misty, right? Wheeler's friend?

Yeah.

I'm Skye.

I know.

I heard that you just got back from Paris.

Yeah, yeah, two weeks ago.

How was it?

It was amazing. Yeah.

Wow. I better get back. See you around.

Wow. That's huge. Are you sure?

I just think my time will be better spent

in New York focusing on painting...

you know, instead of sitting in a lecture hall

at Sarah Lawrence.

Well, at least one of us will be living in the city.

You'll come visit me.

Yeah.

What are you doing?

- Cheering you up... - Okay.

It's not that hard.

- Do you need to get that? - No. No.

Doesn't your dad have an answering machine?

- Or something? - He hasn't unpacked it yet. No.

Just get... Just get the phone.

Ow!

Motherfuck.

Hello?

Hi, sweetie, it's Mom.

- Hey, Mom. - Are you okay?

Why are you so out of breath?

I hope you're not developing asthma. Because your uncle...

Mom, I'm fine. I don't have asthma.

Well, that's a relief.

So, do you wanna hear some great news?

Yeah, of course.

I sold the Cranford property.

That's great, Mom. Congrats. That's great.

Who would think that newlyweds would wanna

take on a money pit like that,

but apparently...

he is very handy, unlike your father.

And, you know, really wants to do the renovations himself?

David, are you there?

Yeah, Mom, can I call you back? I'm kind of busy.

Oh, yeah, sure. I'll be up late.

- Okay, cool. - Wait! Don't go! Wait!

Tomorrow is Father's Day. So pick up a card for your dad.

All right? Don't forget like last year.

Yup, I won't. Father's day card.

I got it. Cool. Bye.

Good-bye.

Shanti Yoga.

Hi. This is Judy.

Judy Myers.

Judy!

David, you're here?

- Dad! - Oh, jeez! Oh! Skye, I'm sorry.

I thought you were going to the mall.

I did, I did. I came back.

- Where are you going? - Home.

- No, wait. Skye, don't. - Is she decent?

We can just chill and watch a movie or something.

No, it's okay, all right?

I should be getting home anyway.

Okay.

Oh, I almost forgot.

- Can you do me a huge favor? - Sure.

Come to the Father's Day brunch with my family tomorrow?