The 'Burbs

I'll see you at the block party on Sunday, right?

What block party?

The HOA throws it every year.

The whole village comes.

Marty's famous pie.

Don't you dare touch that woman's pie.

I wanted to tell you to stop ignoring my lawyer.

DJ Machine, you were looking a little dry.

Are you trying to get me drunk, man?

Naveen! Stop it!

What were you drinking? Those boys are always

getting themselves into trouble.

I wish I could tell her I'm sorry.

- Megan or Kate? - Alison.

Okay, buddy. Let's get you home.

I have him. He's loose and ready to talk.

Copy. I'll see you in five.

I'm trying to imagine Rob and Naveen as teenagers.

They had this secret underground place.

Naveen called it The Pit.

Okay, this might sound crazy,

but 20 years ago, a teenage girl was murdered out here.

And I thought it was our new neighbor who did it.

But now, I think it was Rob.

He knew the girl and he lied about it.

He left her a voice message

saying that she regret whatever she did to him.

He had anger problems. He saw a psychiatrist.

And the other night, he was wielding a knife.

Samira,

what are you doing here?

Young Alison: Rob, please, answer your phone.

Don't be such a dick.

Oh, thank God.

I was starting to think you weren't coming.

John?

It's me. It's Alison.

Rob, is that you?

Don't come any closer.

Samira, what are you doing down here?

What am I doing down here?

What are you doing down here?

And, uh, why does your mother have a dead girl's phone?

She doesn't. I put it there.

- I knew it. - Samira.

Stay back. Stay back or I will...

Or what? Slay me by a cell?

Shit, I might.

Tell me the truth.

Okay. I heard the voice message on this phone,

on Alison's phone.

What message?

This one.

Young Robert: Alison, this isn't cool.

You're going to regret this.

You're fucked.

What did you do to that girl? Did you kill her?

- What? - Did you kill her

in a teenage rage and hide her body

in your creepy underground lair?

Are you out of your mind?

Answer me! Jesus, no!

Do you actually think I could be capable

of doing something like that?

You tell me.

Samira, you know me.

From where I'm standing, I don't--

I don't know anything about you.

Well, then, maybe it's time that you did.

We shouldn't have let her go in there by herself.

Ah, Alison knows what she's doing.

I mean, she said she's almost done this before.

Young Robert: My mom says people who hang out

at Hank's are trash.

I mean, we don't know who this guy is.

We could go to jail.

Nah, juvie, the worst.

Okay. Well, what if we need to hire lawyers?

I mean, we can't hire lawyers without them

telling our parents. - Oh, shit.

Here she comes.

Play it cool, play it cool. man: Whoa, look at this!

Young Robert: Holy shit.

Did she actually do it?

I'm starting to think you're not really

living life on the edge.

What? And you are? Since when?

What's up, nerds?

Now, who thought I couldn't do it?

I never had a doubt in my mind.

Yeah. I mean, if anything, he believed in you too much.

- Aww. - Bunker?

- Yeah. - Bunker.

Young Robert: Let me get some. - That was a lot.

- Let me get some. - Oop.

Young Robert: There we go. Take it easy now, please.

Young Naveen: Okay. - What do you guys think?

What is that? Young Robert: Uh, my tune or DJ?

Yo, could I borrow your cellphone real quick?

Young Alison: Okay. Look, I want to support you...

Young Naveen: I'm gonna get it this time.

Why don't you go back to the card tricks...

Young Naveen: Oh. - ...from last week?

I have to master sleight of hand

using heavier objects.

Houdini spent hours,

you know, doing knuckle exercises, untying knots.

Yeah. You know, that knot thing you showed me

was actually pretty cool.

Yeah, this is what practical magic is all about.

Okay. No. Hey, give that back.

Hold on a sec.

Okay. In my hand,

I have an ordinary cell phone...

- My cell phone. - ...from a brave volunteer.

Now, the single swipe of my hand,

your phone will disappear.

Young Alison: Oh, shit!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Is it okay?

- It's all good. - Nice one, Naveen.

Shut up.

Your parents would've been pissed, huh?

Not really. As far as they're concerned,

the less contact I have with the outside world, the better.

They threatened to take away my computer.

Young Naveen: Maybe they're just worried that you're

messaging random strange men

in online chat rooms.

I'm assuming they don't want you to get hurt.

That's what he's saying.

You know what? I honestly don't think

they give a shit what happens to me

as long as I'm stuck on this fucking cul-de-sac forever.

Are you still upset they didn't let you go to that audition?

Because I promise, they'll be

They act like being a backup dancer

is the same thing as being a stripper.

Well, maybe if you just talked to them.

No.

There's no point,

but they'll see.

One day, they'll wake up,

and I would just be gone.

In the meantime, let's get wasted.

Whoo.

Robert, we go around the Hogan door and hollering.

Young Robert: Around what?

Robert Fisher, what's the matter with you?

Are you drunk? - No, Mr. Fester--Mrs. Fester--

that would be illegal.

I just had some bad orange juice.

You're still running around with that Grant girl,

aren't you?

When I tell your mother...

Please don't. Robert,

I expect better from you.

We all do.

What a fucking stupid town.

A fucking piece of...

No, no, stay away from me!

I'm just turning on the light.

Oh, okay.

Look, I get why you're feeling like you are.

I mean, it must have been pretty crazy to discover

a secret underground bunker with a morbid shrine

to a missing teenage girl.

This is not helping your case.

I know what it looks like, okay?

But Samira, you do know me.

I would never ever have hurt Alison.

You swear on Miles' life?

Yes. I'd never lie to you.

Okay. Let's back that up

because there are a lot of lawyers and wives

that would say that obscuring and withholding the truth

constitutes as lying.

Okay. Yes.

Uh, I never intentionally lied to you,

but I only ever withheld the truth

because I really, really didn't wanna go there.

Well, we're going there.

Now.

Okay.

The truth is,

I don't know exactly what happened to Alison,

but I am responsible.

Please look into the doorbell cam.

State your name and the family password.

Rory, is that you?

It's me, Lynn Gardner,

the cookie addict you sell to every week.

You know me.

And the most recent family password?

Juvenile of the Cash Money Hot Boys.

Thank you for announcing yourself

as a trustworthy adult.

You may enter.

Where are our two favorite Fishers... and Rob?

Well, Miles is in his bouncer, but as for the adults,

your guess is as good as mine, Mrs. Gardner.