Top Cat: The Movie (Don Gato y su pandilla)

I'll tell you who could use an image consultant.

You know, neither of us was inside your head

- for the first part of that. - Aliens.

I see. Foreign people, or the outer space kind?

The outer space ones.

All you ever see in movies is them attacking Earth

- and frying people with lasers. - That's not true.

They're often shown simply abducting and probing.

- That's better? - Give me a probing over a frying any day.

You're both missing my point.

I'm sorry. Not used to you having one.

There's probably hundreds of planets out there,

so they can't all be monsters and maniacs.

How come you never see good aliens?

- Like Superman? - E.T.?

- Starman? Cocoon? - ALF?

Oh, yeah. Forgot about those ones.

Is someone going to pump our gas?

We don't have time to stand around all day doing nothing.

We're not doing nothing. We're talking aliens.

Ooh... I love that movie.

Paul Reiser is under-appreciated.

Everyone's listing off friendly aliens,

but I can only think of mean ones.

- Alien... Predator... - Predator fought Alien,

so one of them must be good.

Superman fought Batman, and they're both good.

- The movie was bad. - Batman breaks the law all the time.

Breaking the law doesn't make someone bad.

- You ever hear of Jean Valjean? - Kickboxing Time Cop?

Okay, let me update my reference.

- You ever see Breaking Bad? - That's got "bad" right in the title.

- Okay, you're all set. - Already? I wanted it filled.

Yeah, that's all there is.

Looks like the underground tank is empty.

So... that'll be 37 cents.

Mork!

1x01 - Bone Dry

Lacey, what's in the soup?

I could write out the recipe if you like it.

- I hate it. - Oh... well, I won't bother, then.

It's got little stones in it. See?

Okay, gross. Roll your tongue back in your skull.

Those aren't stones, that's quinoa.

- Keen-what? - It's just small, round,

- kind of granular little... - Pebbles?

Grain! It's a type of grain.

I just decided to shake things up a bit.

We don't like our soup shaken.

We like our soup like it's always been... rock free.

They're not rocks!

What the hell's going on?!

Oh, hey, Dad. The tanks ran dry.

I hope you'll do me the honour of over-reacting to this.

The tanks?! The underground tanks?!

No, the Sherman tanks I brought home from World War II.

What kind of an idiot jackass lets his gas station run out of gas?!

You're just a station now.

Change the sign from Corner Gas to Corner Nothing.

"Come into the Nothing Station and buy some red-hot Nothing!"

- Proprietor: Jackass. - Mm, all good suggestions.

Look, I just forgot to get the order in on time.

The next truck will be around in two or three days.

You have any idea what can happen to a gas-less town in three days?

It'll be like some kind of post-apocalyptic,

fuel-starved hellscape, like in that movie.

- Frozen? - You know the one I mean, smart guy.

Mmm...

Whoo!

Glibish olgish!

Sorry, what?

I said, give us your gas! What the hell did you think I said?!

"Glibish olgish." You probably need a bigger mouth hole.

A hundred dune-buggies pull up to a gas station,

and you can't figure out what we want?!

Could've been soda.

- I'd love a soda. - Shut up, you!

So the apocalyptic future is still you yelling at me, only shirtless?

Where are you going to find a shirt in the apocalypse?

I think we'll survive a couple days with no gas.

Oh, sure. Total la-di-da attitude.

No sense of responsibility.

It's time I taught you a lesson.

Now? You never taught me anything growing up.

You wait 'til I'm 40?

That's a lot of corn. Whatcha got planned, something stupid?

Something genius.

Town's out of gas, so I'm going to make my own fuel

by boiling up this corn. Going to make a zillion bucks.

Off the 400 people who live here?

A jillion bucks, then. Whatever. Just ring it up.

Hank, there's more to making ethanol than just boiling corn.

Oh, let me guess...

one of the 7,000 courses you took in college was Corn Gas 101.

Quite a fascinating process, actually...

biomass pre-treatment, enzyme extraction,

- cellular hydrolysis... - As if you could actually do it.

You're damn right I could do it!

It's just that the fermentation process takes a long time, so...

Oh, you backpedaling now? 'Cause I know

where there's some stuff already fermenting.

Okay. You get the fermenting stuff,

and I'll go set up my kid's chemistry set,

and then we'll see which one of us is the genius,

and which one of us is the idiot named Hank.

- Deal! - Hi, Hank.

I can get her to do anything

- just by saying, "as if you could." - What?

Oh, yeah, you weren't here for the whole...

I was saying that...

- I don't have time for this. - Okay.

I kind of like this "no gas" situation.

Means we can't patrol the town.

Nothing to do but hang tight and let the crime come to us.

I'm bored.

Maybe we should do a foot patrol!

Maybe that's the stupidest idea of all time.

Stupider than when you tried to kiss that badger?

It wasn't a badger.

Mmm...

Oh, yeah, that was a badger. Why was I kissing a badger?

That was the question we all had,

and why did you need lip balm?

So I tell Brent the town's going to fall apart,

and he just shrugs like a big, dumb lump.

Honestly, how did we end up with such a lazy son?

Guess we'll never know. Grab a shovel.

You're closer. What is this stuff, anyway?

Sauerkraut...

or it will be, once it's done fermenting.

That kid of ours needs to learn he can't stand

around all day with his thumb up a comic book.

Look, you retired, and the gas station is his now.

Let him run it his way. The old ways aren't always the best.

Says the woman burying cabbage in the dirt.

Why are we making our own sauerkraut anyway,

- like German cavemen? - Because the old ways are the best.

You can buy this stuff for two bucks a can.

Ha! A buck eighty. This'll show her.

Hello? I want to buy something,

if anyone even works here!

Ha! Typical. I could rob this place blind, and...

hmm....

What the hell?

Hi, Brent. How's it...

- Hey, where's all your groceries? - No clue.

Maybe there was some kind of food rapture

and it's all up in convenience store heaven.

Fie! Whence came this contemptible heap?

Hey, King, they've got Mars bars!

Mmm... way ahead of you, spaceman. Hmph.

_

No, that can't be right. The devilled ham is gone too.

Hello, my boy, I...

Well, hold the phone. What has happened here?

Ah, I see.

The criminal mastermind returns to the scene.

This is terrible. No food and no gas?

Maybe now it's time to...

- oh, I don't know... panic?! - Yeah, most experts agree

that panic is the best reaction in any crisis,

but just so we're clear,

you're saying you didn't pinch my groceries

- to teach me some stupid lesson? - I most certainly did not,

and furthermore, I resent the instigation.

Good day to you.

I hate this foot stuff.

- It's called "walking." - I miss the car.

That's where all the fun cop gizmos are.

Loudspeaker, siren, shotgun...

Let's not consider the shotgun a "gizmo."

Karen, Davis, what's going on around here?

There's no gas at the gas station,

and now, there's no food. Are we in the end times?

End times?

End times?! That doesn't sound good.

Here. Hey, where's all your stuff?

I have reason to believe my dad stole it,

even though I have no hard proof.

- Lots of soft proof. - Why would he do that?

I'd say "lunatic" probably the best bet.

- There's a toe in my coffee! - It's not coffee, it's soup.

You brought me a coffee cup full of toe soup?

It was a bean. Honestly...

you feel something unexpected in your mouth,

and your first thought is "toe"?

Beans and toes have a very similar shape.

My tongue doesn't have eyes, Lacey.

This town is killing me.

I tried one little change to the vegetable soup

and everyone hates it. What do you think?

I'm not a good judge.

I'm still a bit traumatized by the toe thing.

Urgh...

Damn raccoons are back. Where's my B.B. gun?

Ow!

Ow! Ow!

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

End times? What is that, a biblical thing?

Hold up, let's rest a minute.