The Citadel

Are you the new assistant for Dr. Page?

That's right. I'm Dr. Manson.

I am old Thomas that drives the pony trap

and I got the pony trap here, unless you'd rather swim.

Oh.

Gee up, Jeffy boy. Gee up.

- Only just got your parchment? - Yes.

I knowed it. Last assistant only stayed 10 days.

- Mostly they don't stop. - Oh? Why?

Work's too hard, for one thing.

For another?

You'll find out.

Well, well. This must be Dr. Manson.

Come in, my dear. Come in.

I'm doctor's wife, Mrs. Page.

Take your coat off. There's a love.

Or you'll catch a cold,

and your first case will be your own self, isn't it?

Yes.

Now, come along before you're a minute older

and meet the doctor.

Here he is, love. Our new one, I mean.

He's a new broom, and he'll sweep clean.

Come along, my dear. Say how-do to doctor.

How do you do, sir?

Glad to see you, Dr. Manson.

I hope you'll find the practice won't be too much for you.

You're very young

I know this is the first job I've had and all that

but I'm not afraid of work.

There now, David.

Didn't I tell you we'd be lucky

with our next one?

I hope you'll stay.

My goodness gracious! What a thing to say.

It's only because he's a morsel down today

but he'll soon be up and about again.

Won't you, ducky?

There now, my dear.

I'll bring your supper up for you

as soon as I finish mine.

Well, come along, then, Dr. Manson.

For what we are about to receive

make us truly thankful.

I've got to watch my diet, doctor.

A bit anemic, you know.

I've got to have red meat and a drop of stout

regular for the blood.

You'll do famous here, my dear.

You just remember you're working for Dr. Page.

Don't listen to nothing nobody tells you

do your work proper

and you and poor little me will get on a treat.

Can't expect no fancy cooking here, you know.

Good, plain food never hurt nobody.

Oh, I forgot. There's a call from number 7 Glydar Place.

Oh? Is it urgent?

I don't know, for sure.

Come in about 5:00, I think.

I'll get along.

Oh, no hurry now.

But there, I forgot.

This will be your first case on your own, son,

and you're anxious to get started.

Hmm? Oh.

Good evening. I'm Dr. Page's assistant.

What, another?

I'm the doctor.

Thank you.

Well, what's the trouble?

I feel bad, doctor, awful bad.

My head aches like there was a hammer in it.

Could I have some water, please?

Under the tongue, please.

Doctor, is she bad, then?

Oh, no. She...

uh... her temperature is a bit high, but...

...did she have a chill?

That's right. Three or four days back.

Shivering terrible, she was.

We'll soon have her right.

Come round to Dr. Page's in an hour's time,

and I'll give you a bottle of medicine.

Thank you, doctor.

Thought I'd look in and welcome you.

I'm Denny, assistant to the revered Dr. Michaels, LSA.

That, in case you don't know it

is the Licentiate of the Society of Apothecaries

the highest qualification known to God and man.

How do you do?

Sit down, Hawkins.

Splendid! You've begun the good work already.

"One tablespoonful as required."

Reassuring to meet the dear old mumbo-jumbery

but, doctor, why not three times a day?

Don't you realize, doctor, that in strict orthodoxy

the tablespoonful should pass down the esophagus thrice daily?

Sweet spirits of niter! Wonderful!

Won't hurt them. Won't help them.

Makes them feel they're being treated.

They can swill it by the tubful

whilst nature makes them well.

What do they say in the little red book?

"When in doubt, give spirit of niter." Ha!

Science apart, doctor why have you come here?

My idea was to turn Blaenelly into a health resort

a sort of spa, you know.

Witty, witty, my dear doctor.

Unfortunately, I can't recommend the water here

as being ideally suited to a spa.

As for the medical gentlemen in this valley

they are the ragtag and bobtail

of a great, a truly glorious profession.

Including yourself, eh?

Precisely.

Look here, Manson

I realize you're just passing through on your way to London

but in the meantime, there are one or two things

about this place you ought to know.

There's no hospital,

no X-ray, no ambulance, no anything.

If you want to operate, you use the kitchen table.

Page, your boss, was a good old doctor three years ago.

He'll never do a hand's turn again.

Michaels, my owner,

is a tight little money-chasing midwife.

As for myself, well, I might as well anticipate the gay tidings.

I drink like a fish.

I think that's about all.

Come on, Hawkins. We'll go.

By the way, some of those cases

in Glydar Place aren't exactly typical.

If I were you, I'd look out for the typhoid.

Typhoid. Of course.

Yes?

Hello.

Killed anybody yet?

I've come to ask your advice.

You were right. It is typhoid and epidemic.

I ought to be shot for not having recognized it.

I rang the district medical officer twice

but I can't get hold of him.

Dr. Gribley's gone to Swansea

on important business, eh?

How did you know?

I've had some.

Swansea has a thundering fine course

and his handicap is five.

But do you really think Gribley answered the telephone himself?

Oh, I wouldn't have a word said against dear old Grib

except that he's a lazy, evasive, incompetent swine.

- Have a drink. - Well, I--

No. I thought you wouldn't.

What am I to do?

Stop looking as if you'd swallowed

one of your own prescriptions.

Would you care to have a look at that?

Hmm?

The latest Slice! Must have cost a fortune.

Had to give up drinking six months to pay for it.

No. Look at the slide, I mean.

Very clumsily done, of course.

Practically botched, in fact.

I'm no lab merchant.

If anything, I'm a surgeon,

but you have to be a jack-of-all-trades

under this blinking system.

There's no mistaking what's there, though.

I should say not.

Have you got cases, too?

Four in the same area.

Those bugs come from the wells in Glydar Place.

The main sewer is to blame.

It leaks like the devil and seeps

into half the low wells in that end of the town.

Does Gribley know that?

Afraid to ask the council for a new sewer in case

they should stop his blinking wages to help pay for it.

Then we must write to the Ministry of Health.

The life of men is but three score years and 10.

No. I've thought it all out.

There's only one way to make them build a new sewer.

How?

Blow up the old one.

But...

...you're mad. They'd stop us practicing.

They'd have us struck off the register.

You needn't come in with me if you don't want to.

But you can't do a crazy thing like that.

Why, they'd land us in jail.

There must be some other way. It's un--

I know. It's unethical.

I'm afraid that won't keep me awake at night.

One thing I do know, from now on

all the water in Glydar Place is going to be boiled.

Couldn't you arrange to have Gribley in it?

Yes?

Well, Mrs. Howells and how are Joey's measles today?

The spots are out something awful, doctor.

Oh, dear.