Framed! A Sicilian Murder Mystery (Incastrati)

Here she is! Here she is, coming out!

We can see her right now.

Let's hear what our new deputy police chief has to say.

- Ms. Scalia, please go ahead. - Agata!

- There isn't much we can say. - Ah. So you're friends with the cops?

I can only say that, to the public,

Gambino appeared to be a respectable accountant.

He was working with the Mafia.

That's the lady who came all the way from Milan

just so she could wage war on the Mafia.

That's enough.

Let's get it over with, huh? That's enough.

However, Gambino had recently chosen to cooperate with the law.

It was thanks to his statement

that we've been able to make countless arrests over the past few days.

He would've been placed in witness protection soon,

but unfortunately, someone decided to silence him first.

We're examining all movement at the murder scene.

and we're hoping that we will be able to bring the perpetrators to justice soon.

Thank you so much for giving us your time.

So for the time being, that's all we have to report on.

And now, back to you at the station.

The Holy Father has spoken.

He said you'd better tell us why you killed Gambino.

Why did you kill him?

Hmm?

- I'll tell you! It's true. We did it! - Huh?

We killed him because Gambino was sleeping with his wife, Ester.

She's also my sister. We had to do it to avenge our honor.

How could we have known that he was one of your guys?

Yeah. Yes.

Are we're supposed to believe you?

You're talkin' a lot of nonsense.

No! No! I swear to you.

There's proof. Look here in my tool belt.

Take it. There's your proof. Take it!

Press play!

I wanted to use it against Ester in case we got a divorce.

Hi, Alberto.

It's Ester.

I know I was the one who canceled, but I've changed my mind.

I just found out my husband is going to Castelmonte

and won't be back until tonight.

So, wait for me, because I will be with you soon.

See you soon, my tortellone.

Tortellone!

The Holy Father says

that the cuckold and the cuckold's friend, without meaning to, have done us a favor.

So, guys, let's show these men some respect.

- Bravo! - Well done.

Well done!

Well done.

So, are you both still frightened?

Do you want a glass of water?

Buon appetito, gentlemen.

To our guests and this amazing sauce the Holy Father has made us.

Cheers!

What?

Why don't you eat?

I just don't like carbohydrates.

What the fuck is wrong with you. Eat it!

So tell me this.

Have you ever tasted a sauce so good?

- Yum. - Mm, it's excellent.

- Mm. - Eh.

I do prefer my mom's sauce because there's less onions, you know?

How dare you say your mother's sauce is better.

Calm down, Useless Thing.

You're very lucky that we're all such nice people here.

Yes, you can tell.

Here. Taste this.

I'll take it.

- Mm. - Do you like it?

Exceptional.

It's primo sale. My passion.

- Nice, nice, nice. - Yeah?

Well done, you behave like a man.

Well, anyone in my place would kill his wife's lover, right?

Well, we got a new problem.

Your wife might know a few things we don't want her to.

That's not good for us.

So the Holy Father has ordered that your wife go and be with her tortellone.

Tortellone.

You don't put a hand on my wife.

I'll take her out.

It would be an honor.

You're giving me faith in the human race.

Where have our traditional values gone?

I'll tell ya.

Locked away!

With all our friends who got arrested.

I know.

If they got arrested, then we did something wrong.

But we're still the Mafia.

We're hidden, but we're still here.

Right up until the government lowers their defenses.

- Ka-kah! - Oh God!

We'll cut their head off.

Way back when, to be part of Cosa Nostra,

you needed courage.

Now you need patience.

Yeah, patience.

To the old days.

Cheers to that.

Hey, here's some for you.

No, I'm allergic to dairy products.

Oh, well. More for me.

Listen.

The Holy Father wants to know

what that piece of shit Gambino managed to tell the police.

And seeing as how you're in love with the chief…

Well, no, I think you're a little confused

because I'm not in love with her.

- You're into her. - I'm not into her.

You're into her!

I'm not into her.

You're into her!

I'm into her.

Huh. I could see it in your eyes.

It's just that I'd prefer not to do that to her.

Oh, what's the problem?

- There is no problem. - Exactly.

We'll have someone else do it.

That's right. Anyone else could do it.

I could do it, but I'd probably do it wrong.

Yeah.

Whereas you guys are experts. Wouldn't you agree?

- Or he'd make a mistake. - You know?

We'll get someone else. Yeah, don't worry.

Actually, let's make a toast to this hero's mom,

who apparently makes a special sauce.

What is your mother's name?

Antonietta.

To Mrs. Antonietta.

May you bless this lady with another 100 years of good health!

To my mother!

Listen. Thinking about it,

that thing about the cop, the one I'm into, we can do it.

I hope you're not saying it because you think that I would get offended.

Mr. Primo Sale, are you kidding me?

Now that we're on such good terms,

if you think something like that, I'm the one who's offended.

Okay, yeah. Bravo. I'm glad.

Bon appétit.

Holy Father has a question.

What day next week can we all get together?

The best days for him are Tuesday and Friday.

Well, as far as I am concerned, tell him I'm always available.

What about you, Scientist?

I can't on Friday. I'm installing Internet in an apartment.

What about you, Geppetto?

I got to install two solid wooden doors on Tuesday, so no.

Stockfish?

I just don't know why we have to keep getting together on the days

we do the most business at my shop.

And you, Class Act?

No, I've gotta study for my law exams. I don't pass, I don't graduate.

Nah, nah, let the boy keep studying.

I can do Friday. However, I have to leave at five.

There's an anti-Mafia candlelight vigil at the town hall I need to be at.

But this is no good. Work with me here.

Shall we meet on Zoom?

I haven't got Zoom. Let's do Skype.

No, no, no, no, let's download Houseparty.

Let's do WhatsApp. Everyone's got that.

- What's what? - Come on.

If you touch my sister, I'll report you. I don't care about the Mafia.

I'm not actually gonna kill her, you idiot.

- You said you'd kill her. - I had to say that to save her.

- Otherwise, they'd kill her. - How is that saving her?

I don't know. What do you think I should say?

I want you to say you're sorry

because it's your fault we're here in the first place.

But not your sister's fault for wanting to go out and screw the wrong guy.

The thriller expert. The thrillologist.

And now I have to figure out some way that the woman who betrayed me

doesn't get herself murdered.

Anyway, we'll figure out what to do about her later.

You go find out what Agata knows about Gambino.

And how should I do that, though?

How should I know? Come on! Ask her out to dinner.

Valentino?

But please, make sure there's no cheese because I'm allergic to dairy products.

Of course. Don't worry.

And for your wine?

It's the lady's choice.

Are you allergic to wine too?

Not to wine, no.

Hmm.

Ah, I see you have Limnio.

This is one I haven't drunk in ages.

- I'd like that, please. - Wonderful choice.

You know, I read that Aristotle spoke about this wine.

I get it. You did that whole thing so you could talk about the time

that our school friends decided to lock us up in the cupboard.

- No! - Huh?

No.

- In Greece. - That's not what I'm saying. No.

Maybe involuntary association, but involuntary.

- Involuntary? - Involuntary, Vale. I swear.