A Light Through Coloured Glass

-William Coulthard? -Yes.

The doctor's ready for you now.

Good.

So how long have you felt this way?

Since I read it, really.

I'm going to write you a prescription.

-Yeah. -You take one a day only.

-Okay. -If you have any side effects, come back to me immediately.

Okay.

-Oh, hi. -Hi, Bill. It's good to see you back.

-Thank you, Julia. -Listen, I heard about--

-Yeah. -It'll be okay.

-Yeah, thanks again. -Well, I won't keep you.

-If you need anything. -Yeah, I'll bare it in mind.

See you soon.

Sean, is he ready?

Yep.

Excellent.

Bill, can I check your levels?

Yeah, one, one, two. One, two, three.

-One, one, two. One, two, three. - Yep, that's good.

Thank you.

Hm?

You hungry?

You hungry?

Very nice. But, George,

I am gonna need that note to last a fraction longer, okay?

And if anyone needs a toilet break, now would be the time.

William, could I have a quick word?

Sure, Denise. How can I help?

Well, I was actually just wanting to ask how you are.

I'm okay.

I'm okay, thanks for asking.

It's just, I know it's hard.

I've been there before.

If you need someone to talk to or help at home, I'm here.

Thank you. But really, I'm doing alright.

These things happen,

and life will be back to normal in a week.

-Are you sure? I could-- -Denise, again,

thank you for your offer, but you needn't worry.

Everything will be normal.

Oh, come on man. Don't be a twat.

- You do this all the time. - What? No, I don't.

-Why are you lying? - You know it's the truth.

- Why are you being such a dick? - You know what, forget it.

Look, I promise I'll come back in 20 minutes with rest.

No, pay now or put something back.

What, don't you trust us? I said I'll come straight back.

And I said pay now or put something back.

I need the fucking milk for my baby, now.

You don't need the cigarettes for your baby, do you?

Pay for the milk now, come back for the cigarettes later.

I need a fucking cig for the walk home, don't I.

- And I said, no. - It's six quid.

Why are you being such a dick over six fucking quid?

You're being a dick. You know what?

-Get out, you're barred. -Oh, fuck off.

-I don't wanna shop here anyway, you con! -Excuse me.

-Excuse me. -

Sorry, but how much is it she owes you?

Six pound, is that it?

She doesn't owe me anything.

She's not buying from me.

Oh, listen. Okay, I'll pay.

Don't want her baby going hungry.

Take that, it's all good.

And we can all go about our day, is that okay?

Fine.

Ta.

Look, I just live round the corner.

If you've got five minutes, I'll give you your money back.

No, no.

Consider it a gift.

I don't want no gift.

Please, I wanna give your money back.

Okay, fine.

Not far from here.

Good.

Just so you know, I don't have a kid.

What?

What, wait a minute. You said you needed milk for your child?

Well, I fucking lied, didn't I?

You lied?

I don't believe this. Here, take it.

Take it, you're on your own.

I lied to that prick, not you.

You took the money though, didn't you?

And that lie was the only reason I helped you.

Otherwise I would've left you to it.

You're getting your fucking money back, aren't you?

It's not the point, you lied.

What's your story?

I don't have a story.

Everyone's got a story.

- Do they? -Yep.

And what's yours?

Don't wanna hear mine.

My life's a fucking horror story.

Too scary for a posh twat like you.

Sorry, excuse me, sorry. Can you not?

Can you not?

I meant that in the nicest way possible.

You got any kids?

No.

Unless, like you, I also count my imaginary children.

Ha, ha, hilarious.

You're married though, aren't you?

How'd you know that?

Gold band.

Look, when we get to mine, you better not try anything.

- -I mean it.

Believe me, I'm not interested.

I just want my money back and I'm gone.

Good. Because if you do, I'll cut your balls off.

Understood.

-Do you want a drink? -No thank you.

I'm making a brew, how'd you have it?

I'm fine, thank you.

Just have a fucking brew, will you?

All right, milk, no sugar. Thanks.

All right.

-Tina? - What?

Why is there a weirdo sat on our sofa?

I owe him a couple of quid. You got any money on you?

-Do you know him? -No.

Mate, he could be a fucking rapist.

He's not a rapist.

He looks like a rapist.

Are you making me one?

God sake.

-So you got six quid on you? -What for?

I didn't have enough for me cigs, so he helped me out.

I think I've got about a fiver.

Don't get paid till tomorrow.

Yeah, that'll do.

Take it then.

Put it in my mouth, then?

I'll have to owe you a quid.

That's enough. I'm not chasing you for one pound.

So what do you do?

Nothing.

Nothing? You don't work.

I do sometimes when I feel like it.

You?

I play the church organ.

That's my full-time job,

but I also present a show with my wife.

What do you mean you present a show?

It's just a local television show

on the public access channel, that's all.

Are you famous?

No, I'm not famous.

All right.

What's the show about then?

Um...

God, Jesus.

Things like that.

You one of those then, are you?

One of what, sorry?

One of those die-hard religious types.

Had a teacher at school.

His name were, what the fuck was his name?

Oh, whatever, I can't remember.

But he were just like you.

Always going to church and pressurizing

the kids in believing in all that shit.

Well, I don't know if I would call it that,

but, you know, actually, I'm quite offended.

Carrow. Mr. Carrow, his name were.

Do you know him?

No.

He's probably dead now.

He was touching 70 when I were at school.

Drink your tea, it'll go cold.

So what day's your show on then? I'll watch it.

No, I don't think it would be your cup of tea.

so to speak.

Yeah, it probably won't be, but I'll still watch it.

It's on Wednesday and Friday nights.

Right, I'll let you know what I think.

So do you live with your friend?

Who, Lisa?

-Lisa, right. -Yeah.

Lived on your own long?

Since I was about 14.

With Lisa?

No, lived with Lisa for about 10 months now.

Moved in with an old boyfriend when I was 14.

Fourteen?