Monk

Hello.

Hey, mom.

I got your message.

guess where i am.

In the tub.

it's my third bath today.

Mm.

Mm. i know.

I know about the drought.

I actually talked to dr. bell about it.

He said not to feel guilty.

He said i should pamper myself.

I know, he's great.

Mom, he's my therapist.

How can you ask me that?

I guess he's cute, for a shrink.

Hello?

Mom.

Hello?

Jesus, pearl.

you scared me to death.

Who let you in?

Oh, no! no!

No!

Oh, god! aah!

* it's a jungle out there *

* disorder and confusion everywhere *

* no one seems to care *

* well, i do *

* hey, who's in charge here? *

* it's a jungle out there *

* poison in the very air we breathe *

* do you know what's in the water that you drink? *

* well, i do, and it's a-ma-zing *

* people think i'm crazy 'cause i worry all the time *

* if you paid attention, you'd be worried too *

* you'd better pay attention or this world we love so much *

* might just kill you *

* i could be wrong now *

* but i don't think so *

* 'cause it's a jungle out there *

* it's a jungle out there *

- morning, mr. monk. i have your mail.

- okay, uh, just throw it away.

- i can't throw it away until i look at it.

What are you doing?

the dishes.

that's not the dishes.

that's a dish, one dish.

You can't waste water like that, mr. monk.

Haven't you been reading the papers?

We're in the middle of a huge drought.

not the middle.

Nobody can really say

If it's actually in the middle.

- it's a big problem. it's all over the news.

The reservoir's almost empty.

Nobody's washing their cars or watering their lawns.

Natalie, what was i supposed to do?

I had an omelet.

that's not funny, mr. monk.

What if everybody felt like that?

- do they? - no.

so we're okay.

uh-oh.

what is it?

- it's from your hmo. - ooh, don't open that.

it says "important."

- all the more reason-- just throw it out.

maybe it's good news.

- yeah, good news from my hmo.

What do you think-- i won a free colonoscopy?

uh-oh. oh, no.

It's a new policy. it's about your therapy.

They're putting a cap on the number of sessions.

well, how many?

uh...2,000.

well, that's no problem.

I go four times a week, so we're not even close.

- no, that's not 2,000 per year, mr. monk.

That's total--2,000 total...

In your life.

total?

i'm sure you're fine.

That's a pretty big number.

It says here that's seven times the national average.

what are you doing?

i'm adding.

1964...

1965--

- wait, you started in 1964?

- no, those are the number of sessions.

how many are left?

oh, that's good.

Takes a water shortage to make you appreciate

How refreshing a cold glass can be.

But i guess that's human nature.

When something is rationed--

i don't care about that!

I don't want to hear any small talk today, okay?

No small talk.

Only big talk. big, vast talk.

something happened.

this came this morning.

huh?

- what are you doing now? what--what are you doing?

looking for my glasses.

Mm, got my new bifocals,

And it took--took some getting used to and--

- i don't care about that! nobody cares about that.

Where'd you put 'em? - i was sitting right here.

- here! here they are.

- oh. oh. thank you, thank you.

All right, thank you very much.

All right.

- yeah, it's, um-- - all right.

What is this?

- it's from my insurance company.

oh, yes, so i see.

- today's session is number 2,000.

This is it. this is my last session.

mm-hmm.

- this is the last session they'll reimburse you for,

But you always have the option of paying yourself.

well, how much is it?

it's 200.

dollars? $200?

This is my last session.

Oh, my god, we have 48 minutes.

It's my last shot.

We--we have to really focus,

Really focus.

- adrian, i don't know how much we can do in one session.

- yeah, i made a list of all of my problems here, so...

- well, adrian, that's-- that's not how it works.

You see, therapy is an ongoing process,

And the progress is incremental.

- yeah, well, we have to try, okay?

Let's knock off as many as we can, all right?

"my fear of disappointing my father." go.

- adrian, uh, i'm not comfortable

Working under this kind of pressure.

All right, all right. hold on.

Okay, let's see now. we've talked about this before.

The loss of your father

Came at an impressionable time in your life,

And i think it created an emotional vacuum.

- yeah, yeah, okay. forget that one.

We'll never get that one. "germophobia."

- adrian, this is not a game show.

germophobia.

- all right, germophobia. all right, germophobia.

Your fear of germs is not unusual.

Now, some people find that it helps

To read scientific journals to demystify--

yeah, pass.

Okay, "sibling rivalry."

- well, i've never met ambrose.

- pass! oh, god.

i've been in therapy for ten years.

I have to have something to show for it.

I mean, i--we have to cure something here.

Ah, "death of my mother."

Oh, pass.

"fear of height." pass.

"fear of fear itself."

Oh, yeah! here--here--here's one.

Okay, yeah.

"claustrophobia."

claustrophobia.

Now, we've discussed that.

We talked about visualization. you remember that.

I said if you ever feel trapped somewhere.

You can imagine a door.

- i tried that once, but the door was locked.

- just imagine you have a key.

yeah, i tried that.

The key didn't fit.

maybe it's a skeleton key.

- this is not working! come on!

46 minutes left. you got to try harder.

- all right. - cure me, for god's sake.

- maybe there's another way around this, huh?

Let's see now. wait a minute.

This policy only applies to private sessions.

You can join a group session.

That's a new category. it's like starting over.

- group? - yes.

Now, i have one group that deals specifically

With phobias and obsessive behavior.

They meet twice weekly like clockwork.

- uh, there would be other people there?

- yes, it's--it's a group. it's a group of people.

Actually, this policy change might be a blessing in disguise.

I think you could really benefit from this.

ah, they don't like me.

- adrian, they haven't met you.

they don't like me!

I can't do it.

- all right. sorry to hear that.