The Baby

Okay... What the fuck is goin' on?

It would be better if we could talk in private.

I want to help you.

- Help me do what? - Kill him.

Are you fuckin' jokin'?

- You left him in a field. - I didn't actually leave him.

Well, you wish you had.

Failure of nerves. Completely understandable.

He'll bulldoze your life, destroy your relationships,

and when he's got you completely to himself,

he'll destroy you.

It's what he does.

You have to kill him.

I'm not...

I don't even know you. Yeah? This is mad.

I'd like you to leave... now.

Hm...

My memory stick.

Thank you.

For the next one.

Take care.

Wait.

What do I have to do?

Get him to sleep.

Why?

We need the element of surprise.

Bobbi? Bobbi?

Hi. Can you take a look at this pocket for me, please?

- It's just catchin'. - Okay.

Yeah, we need a shred more volume in this.

Card's catchin' on the seam.

Uh, more volume will make it bulky, so I don't...

But the trick'll work smoother.

Yeah, but the look has to be super tight.

You know, that's my thing.

"Where could she possibly be hiding it?"

All right, well, take it off,

and I'll take a look later.

Take it off?

You want me to

take it off, do ya?

Wanna play "find the magic bean"?

Yes.

But... first, I really want to practice.

Really?

You promised.

- Oh, but, maybe, we wanted... - You promised.

- All right. - Yes, yes!

When we first met, we were two very different people.

But then, we fell in love.

And became one.

- Okay, you need to hold your hanky up a bit higher. - A bit higher.

- Yeah, sure. - Yeah, okay.

And became one.

But then, we realized that there was a hole.

And we found that it was a

baby-shaped hole.

And the only way to fix it was...

With love!

So, please give us a baby,

and we promise to fill it with love.

- You are so cheesy. - She's gonna love it.

Mm-hm.

One more.

Go to sleep.

Shh, shh, shh.

- Go to sleep. - Try singing to him.

Go... to... sleep.

Go to sleep.

Ugh.

What is wrong with you?

He knows.

Hang on.

- Tash? - Mags!

What's the name of that thing that you use to get Raffi to sleep?

- The BunBun? - The BunBun. Yes!

Where are you now?

- I'm out. - Yeah, where?

Universe of Fun.

But, Tashi, it's invite only...

Let's go.

Welcome to Universe of Fun,

where the fun never stops.

Leave the grownups at the door.

You're approaching Universe of Fun.

Passport Control.

Two, please.

Do you guys have your passports?

What?

Are you a distinguished citizen,

honorable citizen, or just a regular citizen?

We're not any kind of citizen.

Then that'll be 32 pounds.

Mags?

Tash, what are you doin' here?

I need to borrow your BunBun.

- Who are these people? - It's my Bump and Baby group.

- The BunBun? - I won't let my BunBun out of my sight.

- Ooh, so can I have the BunBun? - Retro pram. Love it.

And who's this little monster then?

Cake time.

Come on, Amy. This way.

Mags! The BunBun.

Where's your fucking BunBun?

- What are you doin'? - Ah!

Nothin'.

Look... you can try it here, okay?

But you cannot take it out of this room.

And if he likes it, you can buy one online.

Thank you.

Oi!

If you keep doin' that, this baby will kill you.

Time to sleep. Close your eyes.

I feel sleepy. Do you?

Prosecco?

Where's Dad today? Or Mom. God! Sorry.

- Is your partner working? - I don't have a partner.

Wow. That's fucking phenomenal.

Mind you, I do think it's important

for young boys to have a strong male role model.

You know, that's why it's so amazing you've got Jamie.

He's such a great guy.

And so bloody gorgeous.

Amy!

Do you have any secret weapons to help get baby to sleep?

Mama's struggling.

Have you started hallucinating yet?

Sorry?

I, I was putting Lily to sleep the other night

and she wouldn't stop crying.

Then Fred and Angus start screaming bloody murder.

Ben sleeps through the whole thing because,

of course, he's exhausted from work.

And I, I had this vision

of just swinging Lily's head against the wall.

Put her back down in the cot, locked myself in the bathroom

for an hour till the screaming stopped.

Well, no one really gets it, do they?

Not unless they're in it.

In the house all day, and no one to talk to.

Scream, nap, eat, shit, repeat.

It's a lot.

Still... this place is great.

Fucking yes.

Ooh!

It's the lollypop song!

No, no, no, no, no!

Hey!

I told you not to touch the baby!

Jesus Christ, Natasha! The BunBun!

It's, it's broken! He's broken

the BunBun!

- I feel sleepy... - Christ!

Your baby's upsetting all the other children.

I think you should leave.

Ugh, you've got to put it in recline to take the brakes off!

Ugh, how does this thing recline?

No wonder he doesn't sleep.

You can't just stick him in anything, you know?

Ah!

Where's her finger?! Has anyone seen her finger?!

Oh, look at you, yeah?

Like butter wouldn't melt.

Mags!

Hey. Gimme the...

Gimme the BunBun. I'll fix it.

Why are you so pissed at me?

I'm sorry about your friend's finger.

You don't get it, do you?

You just bulldoze your way through every situation.

Like, you turn up... uninvited.

You were rude. You e-embarrass me...

What, in front of your Bump and Baby group?

Oh, you think you're so much better than them?

- Yeah. - Well, they can tell.

- Good. - Do you know what, Natasha?

All I want is a best mate

who doesn't judge me for being a mum.

'Cause you know what?

I already feel like I'm fighting that

all the time.

It's Bobbi.

Shit.

She says she needs me.

What should I do?

You haven't seen her in, like, three years.

You should go, Natasha.

Okay, yeah... All right.

I'm gonna go.

I'll call you later, yeah?

Love you!

Okay, something's happened. We're makin' a detour.

Don't do anything fucked up.

You leave Bobbi alone.