Sex, Drugs & Taxation (Spies og Glistrup)

BASED ON REAL EVENTS AND UNREAL ONES

Mogens? Are you there?

Yes, I'm here.

Simon's dying. If you want to see him, this is it. Do you Understand?

- I'll be there. - Are you sure?

Yes, of course. I'll call you when I'm out. See you.

- Mogens, you're on laundry duty. - Pardon?

The others have left. It's in barrack 11.

- Yes. Well then, goodbye, then. - Bye-bye.

- Hello, Mogens. What's going on? - I've urgent business in Copenhagen.

The bus leaves in 2 minutes and 43 seconds.

- Stop. You know you can't. - I am a Member of Parliament.

- I'll have to mark you as absent. - Mogens says he's leaving.

I don't have time!

There was a general election two days ago.

I got 8,096 personal votes. I can go wherever I want.

- We have to get this sorted out. - I don't have time!

You haven't been given permission.

The Constitution, Section 34: "Parliament is inviolable.“

"Anyone who threatens its safety or freedom The bus!"

- That's enough. - I have to get out!

- I must see Simon! - Stop it!

I must see Simon. No!

Welcome to my old frat house, girls. Remember to behave tonight.

Oh, right, we're at a party. Gentlemen first.

- Mogens, is that you? - Hello, Simon.

Hello, hello. Is Lene with you?

- No, she's minding the children. - Ah.

- But the party's upstairs, isn't it? - Yes, I think so.

Hi, Mogens.

At least he was 15 years ago. Am I right, Mogens?

- Let's bring down the house. - No, I don't really feel like it.

Sit down.

- Are they teasing you? - No, no, no, they aren't.

No.

- I believe I owe you a rematch. - Then your memory fails you.

- 15th of June 1950. 21-5, 21-11. - That was 15 years ago.

- Do you want a handicap? - When I've won, we join the party.

- And If I win? - I don't consider that an option.

Girls, you be ball girls, so bring me a bat and a ball.

You're ball girls, and then you must fetch bat and ball for me.

Why, thank you.

- Do we dance or do we play? - Now, now. You get to serve.

Hello? Girls, you should join me.

Bring the music back! Music!

Good evening, good evening.

As it's been 15 years since we roomed together, drinks are on me.

For the first ten customers, there's a free bus tour to the Costa del Sol.

Two weeks with a sea view, your legs up and a bit of sun on your tushy.

- Shut up, Simon. - We wish the winners a good trip.

Ah Well.

We'll now continue with a slow tune.

I'm afraid I promised everyone a free bar tonight.

Let's party-

Let me guess, you're bothered by Robert's presence?

So, the Elsinore proletariat came after all.

Won't you try your luck with the bus trip to the Costa del Sol?

- We don't party with riff raff. - Well, many do.

Yes, so I gather.

- What was your name again? - Robert Koch-Nielsen.

- And this is my wife, Birgit. - Well hello, Birgit.

And what did you make of yourself, Robert 'Cock'-Nielsen?

I'm a barrister specialising in tax laws which Mogens knows very well.

Mogens just lost a big case before Judge Bergsae. Isn't that correct?

- Yes, it's not exactly a secret. - What was it about again?

Tax deductions? But you've always been so fond of them.

The taxation system is simple.

Show me who you're taxing, and I'll tell you who you are.

I'll give you an example, like Miss Cynthia here.

She's self-employed in the service sector and has a good income.

And yet, there are no taxes on the libido. And why not?

Because love should not be bought.

Or maybe it's because you'd have to be appraised on the same terms.

And I wouldn't go much higher than a dirty penny. What do you think?

I'm not very good at appraising goods, but it sounds reasonable.

This is silly.

How dare you?

Well, if our company isn't appreciated, let's move on.

- Aren't we going to sing now? - Sing?

- That's cruel. I'm feeling peckish. - I'm always hungry.

Damn tasty.

So here we are. Two old geezers -

- with money in our pockets and sharp minds.

But who the hell have we become?

Keep the change. Did you find a way to blow this shit to kingdom come?

- Yes. But they won't let me. - Judge Bergsae?

Bergsøe, my father-in-law and the rest of them.

Yes, I know Bergsae. Such a boy scout.

From Flying Enterprise. I had an agreement with CEO Sven.

He got pussy and Mouton Rothschild, and I got cheap flight seats.

- Who becomes his father-in-law? - Bergsae.

Exactly. No pussy for Sven. No profits for me.

Now I have this meeting about some detail in the contract.

- You could take down Bergsae. - Yes.

- You'd get a generous fee. - Sure. No, don't.

- Bergsae. - Yes, the assholes are so stupid.

I only want to work with people with guts.

That's me.

Then let's get to it.

Section 16, subsection C

- There. Do you need anything else? - No, thank you.

- See you tomorrow at eight. - Of course, Mr. Spies.

Section 16. Ah!

Stop saying section 16, subsection C all the time -

- or I'll damn well throw this drink in your face.

- What's the value of your estate? - Including my Volvos?

A million or thereabouts. Why?

- You run a very well-oiled machine. - Well, I am the best.

But the contract you have with Flying Enterprise is terrible.

- Your only option is to buy them. - Buy them?

- Why would they sell? - Bergsøe missed a detail.

As a creditor you can withdraw and force them into bankruptcy.

They've concealed it in section 22, subsection 4.

It gives us the option to buy them.

It's my money. And what if they don't go bankrupt?

Then I'll end up with thousands of customers but no planes.

You're their biggest customer.

When did you become an expert in the travel industry?

It's pure logic.

They just bought new airplanes. They're pilots. Pilots want planes.

They want planes, planes, planes. They overspent.

And they overlooked section 22, subsection 4 and the bankruptcy laws.

Pipe dreams and pure conjecture, Mogens.

- You don't believe me? - No.

- Believe? I want to know, damn it. - Then find out.

Yes?

- Good morning, father-in-law. - Please have a seat.

Spies Rejser is now our client.

I'm assisting Simon Spies in a rather sizeable company takeover.

Simon Spies isn't fit company. He's a lout. A whoremonger.

- He's a thrifty businessman. - We don't want him.

But this is my big chance to make them eat dust.

- Them who? - Those in power, officials, Bergsae.

What does Spies have to do with Bergsae?

Bergsøe's son-in-law is the CEO of the company we're taking over.

You're confusing things. People like Bergsøe keep the wheels turning.

- But I have a plan - Stop!

Or what?

I don't want to sit here and threaten you. We just can't risk it.

We advise people openly and honestly. We're honest people.

Not fortune hunters.

Tell my daughter that her mother and I will come for dinner tomorrow.

Yes.

Hi, Dad!

Hi, Dad. Dad, would you like to see my drawing?

Dad!

Mokke? I didn't hear you come in.

Were you up all night?

- It must have been a fun party. - Yes, well

- Simon was there. - Oh? Is he still as amusing?

- You didn't sing too loudly? - I didn't sing at all.

Is something wrong?

I have a plan. With Simon.

- But they won't let me. - Is it Dad?

- Yes. - He just needs a little time.

There is no time! If it's to be done, it must be now!

- Doesn't he understand that? - He says I confuse things.

Mokke, look at me. You never confuse things.

- No, I don't! - No.

Don't you think I should have a word with him?

- I'll talk to him and Mom. - Thank you, Lene.

So, my little butterfly.

Do you have any secrets from the aviation director's bed chambers?

No. But I do have some from the bookkeeper's.

Well, well

After five dry martinis, a bottle of champagne -

- and a 10-minute praise of his wife, he finally unzipped his pants.

No please keep your shoes on.

And

Flying Enterprise no longer has a line of credit at the Private Bank.

Do you have the energy for one more round?

- Always when the Chairman beckons. - Chairman?

I like it! Come here, you saucy vixen!

Well? You look like you're at a funeral.

It's a completely moronic idea.

It's risky. I'll say that much.

- What if Glistrup is wrong? - Then we'll go bankrupt.

- And you won't be a party to that? - No, I won't. I can assure you.

We must negotiate a fair price with Flying Enterprise.

It's in their interest, too. I'm sure of it.

I lost my appetite.

Jørgen, you're dead now. Lie down!

Mogens.

I think that perhaps this was a bit too

- Jørgen! You're dead! You're dead! - Why is it always me who dies?

That's what it's like to be an Indian.

- Here you go, Simon. - Thank you, Lene.

- It's great to see you two together. - It's wonderful to see you, too.

She's so sweet.

I've gone over the numbers. 1.3 is fair for Flying Enterprise.

My directors say no.

If you want to be King, you must be prepared to go to war.

- What do your clever directors say? - Try to negotiate a better price.

They've given up, and so have you. Welcome to mediocrity.

- Are you sure about the bankruptcy? - Yes.

All travellers from Flying Enterprise should go to the exit.

- Sven Brahmsen, CEO. - Mogens Glistrup, Spies Travel.

That's Mogens. He's my attorney.

- Where is Bergsae? - Who cares'? Let's start.

- Bergsøe is probably on his way. - A drink, Sven?