Reaper

Is this a carjacking? Are you carjacking me?

I'm the devil!

Before you were born,

your mom and I sold your soul to the devil.

- You gonna tell Andi? - I'm not gonna tell Andi!

If she knows, she'll never go out with me.

You can make her go out with you, Damien.

You're just going to bring escaped souls back to hell.

- That's cool, right? - How am I supposed to capture him?

This will help. A vessel, hand-crafted in the bowels of perdition

by the inequities of the vile.

- That'll work. - Word of caution...

I don't accept failure.

You finally found the one thing that you're good at.

You sent an escaped soul back to hell.

Oh, fiddlesticks!

Dude, I need to find another place to live.

I can't do this anymore.

You can't move back to my house. We gotta figure something else out.

Morning.

What?

Was I snoring?

Little bit.

You want to get some food before we meet up with the guys?

I just gotta change first.

OK.

You know, you're the first girl to infiltrate our bowling circle.

I like you a lot, too, Sam.

Just so you know,

you might get your ass handed to you today. We bowl a lot.

It doesn't look that hard. Trust me, it's harder than it looks.

Don't worry. The guys won't judge you.

Hi, lady and gent. Let's do it.

I thought we agreed to lose the costumes.

Excuse me? Lose the costumes, Sam?

That's like Mick Jagger without Keith Richards,

or Bono without the Edge. It's not right.

So don't go messing with our bowling chi, OK?

- I'm sorry. - No, come on. I love it.

All right, bitches.

Let's throw some balls around.

That's us.

Yeah, all right!

Lucky streak is up, rook.

Lucky streak is up.

Season 1x12 Unseen

I'm telling you, it was weird.

It's like the ball had a mind of its own.

It's beginner's luck. I wouldn't read too much into it.

No, it wasn't. There was definitely something else going on, you guys.

You have got to chill out. She is not the spawn of satan.

- We saw her naked, remember? - Definitely no mark of tne beast.

You should hear the way she snores. Seriously, it's not normal.

It's like she's a creature from the underworld.

Oh, god, I love that movie. Kate Beckinsale, black spandex.

There's something wrong with her.

What? Kate Beckinsale is perfection. What's wrong with you?

- No, you nimrod. Cady. - Oh, Cady.

All right, what, so she snores, she's a kick-ass bowler,

she's got a super-duper hot body, she's cool, and she's into you.

What else do you want?

- Hey, guys. - Hey.

I'd get excited about this meeting if I were you.

I just saw Ted. Looks like he's on the warpath.

You owe me a coffee. Want to get one before the meeting?

- Do you guys want one? - We're good, thanks.

Did you mean who else does he want?

Now that the holiday rush is over,

a few announcements to make. First off,

great big thank you to ira greenblatt

for working double shifts on Christmas eve.

Way to show that spirit of the season, buddy.

I got your back at Passover, dude.

But on the more negative note,

it has recently come to my attention

that some of the merchandise in this store has gone missing.

I fear that we have been victims of shoplifting.

What was stolen?

I'm not at liberty to discuss that information right now, Andi.

But I don't think I need to tell you guys

that shoplifting is a very, very serious crime.

- Hurts us all, Ted. - Yes it does, Sam.

Yes, it does.

And that's why we are going on the offensive.

We will be installing an extensive video system throughout the store.

I'm sure that will be

a deterrent for our so-called "customers" with sticky fingers.

So let's get out there, people.

Remember, keep those lookin' balls open.

- Let's get these guys! - Let's get 'em.

All right, boys, let's roll.

- Hey, will you cover for us? - Where are you going?

I finally found a sick apartment. Gonna go check it out.

- Did you not hear Ted's speech? - I live here, Ben.

It's not stealing if it's your own house, come on.

Take a look, boys. What do you think of this?

How much do you pay for this, again?

Only $1,200 a month. It was a total steal.

- You're a freakin' Jesse James. - I know.

Sock, have you not seen your paycheck? You don't make $1,200 a month.

All I need is 4.

So where are you going to get the rest? From your mom?

From you guys.

What?!

We're gonna be roomies.

I forged you guys' signatures on the lease! Isn't that wicked?!

No, Sock, the last thing I need right now

is my name on another contract I didn't sign.

Dude, you should have talked to us first!

Look, if I'd have of waited,

this place would have gone like hot cakes, all right?

We'll get the porn channels.

We'll put a foosball table over there, maybe a little tiki bar,

a hookah pipe. I don't know, whatever we want.

It's on you, dude. I mean,

- we did say we wanted our own place. - Benji's in. Sammy, it's down to you.

I don't know, man!

Look... Ben, excuse us. Come here.

OK, listen to me. I did not want to play this card,

I really didn't, but you leave me no choice.

The fact of the matter is, you owe me.

You owe me, all right? I've been there since the beginning,

helping you send escaped souls back to hell, man!

I've been the friggin' Robin to your Batman.

What does that make me?

You're the weird english butler guy.

Listen, I need a bat cave. Sammy, I deserve a bat cave.

- I'm Batman? - You're Batman.

You want to move out?

Well, I'm 21, and I can't live with my parents forever.

Well, no, not forever, Sam.

But we thought you'd be around for at least a few more years.

Come on, mom, dad.

We all know that Sam's gotta bust out of this joint sometime, right?

- Plus, my place is awesome. - It's not like I'm moving to Australia.

- It'll be 5, 10 minutes away. - 20, max.

- I don't know, Sam. - Sam, I don't think

- you're ready to live on your own. - Those are mine.

- Thanks. - Your mom's right, Sam.

It's a dangerous world out there, and...

Dangerous? Dad, really, dangerous?

I think I can handle living downtown.

Well, what are you going to do about food?

I'll cook.

I watch naked chef a lot.

How hard can it be?

This move will be good for me, all right?

I'll learn to do things on my own. For the first time in my life,

I'll be totally independent.

If it's that important to you, then...

You have our support.

Yes!

Thank you, dad.

Finally leaving the nest, huh?

Finally coming out of the closet, huh?

Oh, a homosexual joke. Very witty.

You're quite a hot shot now, huh, Sam?

What with moving out and all.

All right, can we just be adults and get on with this?

Oh, sure we can.

You're a big boy now, huh?

Here, let me help you with this, big boy.

A playground, clever.

Well, I thought you'd appreciate the irony.

Right. Can we get on with this?

- Someone's testy today. - No, I'm not testy.

I've done this so many damn times, and I'm tired of you treating me

like I'm a 4-year-old. I know what I'm doing.

As you wish, Mr. Oliver.

In life, the soul is known as Herbert Scrim.

A total hermit, lived in the woods.

He made the unabomber look like a social butterfly.

OK, so what's his deal?

Well, Herbert was a hunter.

And he killed anyone who dare run through his neck of the woods.

And now that his hunting grounds have turned into a city park,

there's a lot more prey.

Where do I find him?

In there.

But you be careful, Sammy. This soul's a tricky one.

All the years that he lived, he was hardly ever seen.

I know, I get it, but what's his deal?

Like, electroshocks, bugs, what?

I don't know what you're talking about.

You've graduated, my man. You're moving on up.

This time, it's just you,

and your new found confidence.

- Why are we doing this, again? - Come on, Andi, they're our friends.

Aren't you curious about their new place?

No, you are up to no good, I know it.

Our first house guest.

No, I think it's my waterbed.

Boo-yah!

Hi. It's you.

- Hey. - Hey.

Look who's finally becoming a man.

You just made it look like so much fun.

- Where did you guys find this place? - We lucked out.

I think, um, it actually used to be a meth lab,

- like 2 days ago. - You didn't tell me that.