Die Die Delta Pi

You two stop that this instant!

The nerve of some people.

And I expected more from

a varsity letterman!

That's one butt ugly woman.

Like, what a barf bag.

She's so grody.

What is she anyway, your mother?

As if, she's our house mom.

Gag!

Whatever, now was my tongue

in your mouth, or was yours in mine, babe?

Just pucker up, dipstick!

What?

You are an established housemother.

Yet these uneducated trashmouths

continue to call you names.

You were over this a long time ago!

Calm down, Katherine.

Calm down.

Shouldn't you be inside with the

lambs left to slaughter?

What are you doing?

Oh my God, did you hear that

there was another murder on campus?

For reals?

Yes.

And it was gruesome!

The radio said they thought it was a beheading.

That's scary being so close to us, don't you think?

Yeah, tell me about it.

Uh, hey, bimbettes?

Might want to put your togas on

before you put your makeup on, you ditzes.

And why is that?

Uh, duh!

Not even!

Oh even.

See, I told you.

Eat my shorts!

You're not even wearing any.

Allison, could y'all just hurry up?

I need to get cleaned up.

Aren't you going to

the bonfire pit tonight?

No, I am not going to the bonfire pit tonight.

In fact, my boy toy is coming here

so we can fuck while you two sluts

are out at some bonfire party

with some stupid doll doing some

ritural that nobody even gives a fuck about.

It's like the same bullshit every year,

I'm sick of going to those things.

And how many years have you been going?

Ten.

Ten.

You know what?

Why don't you just get out of here

so I can get dressed?!

I need to get ready.

I said get!

Out, now!

Come on, God.

Radio DJ} Chill out, everyone.

There are more hot jams coming your way.

For those of you with Spring Break fever,

the Serpent's Bar and Grill is

having happy hour all night!

Discounted prices for those

lucky sorority girls.

You know who you are.

Now back to the jams.

So Donna, where we headed to?

I hope it's the beach.

I love a good walk in the moonlight.

The only time I go to the beach

is in the daylight to catch some UVs.

What, aren't your tatas crisp enough?

Cool it down, airheads.

None of that shit's happening.

Yet!

Sisters, first we're gonna go to a bonfire.

It's a tradition at Delta Pi.

A bonfire?

That's so lame, Donna.

Why don't you just gag us with a spoon already?

How about we go somewhere like

on a yacht or something cool like that?

When we see all the bodacious hunks.

For sure, Katey is right.

A bonfire is so boring.

Where are all the boys?

Totally!

There's always time for

beach walks and yachts.

Anyway, the bonefire's what starts

the ceremonial burning of the house mom.

We're going to kill Katherine?

No, we burn an effigy dummy, dummy.

She's such a spaz, I hate that

malicious bitch, it should really

be her we're burning.

Nerd alert!

Fucking aye, I hate that twerp.

Ugh, she thinks she's so much better

than us 'cause she's so smart.

Delta Pi doesn't need nerds.

How on Earth did she get

accepted into this sorority anyway?

Supposedly because Marissa's mother

was a legacy here at Delta Pi,

it automatically makes her eligible.

Totally?

Totally.

And that status of sluts is what

gives Marissa acceptance.

Wicked.

Hey Marissa, come here!

Hi, everyone.

Hi, Marissa.

Hi, Marissa.

So Marissa, what are you

gonna do for Spring Break?

Oh I don't know, maybe just

go to the observatory, look at the stars.

Are you coming to the ceremonial bonfire

to kick off Spring Break?

You'll really invite me?

Well duh, you are Delta Pi, aren't you?

Yeah, well, but I thought that...

But but but, you're coming and that is final.

Okay.

Just let me get ready.

Wait, one more thing.

Yes?

It's a toga party.

Where do I get a toga?

Katey, get me a toga.

Seriously, Donna?

Just gag me out the door why don't ya?

What are you thinking, we don't

need her to ruin our Spring Break.

That's so lame!

Sisters, don't worry, I have

something really special planned

for that cunt.

I so can't wait to get out of

these dorms rooms and into the Delta Pi house.

This toga party's gonna rock!

Sun State Police Department

has issued another warning to those

celebrating Spring Break outdoors

to be aware of another murder in the

Sun State University vicinity.

Police are urging students to take

their festiveness indoors.

Hey Pinktrick, toss me a cold one, huh?

It's Patrick, asshole.

What was that, Pinktrick?!

Ow, God, my pinkie toe, ugh!

That's what you get for putting

your red shirt in my laundry, scumbag!

You're the Chemistry major, can't you

just use your Chemistry nerd magic

to get it out, you used tampon?!

It's already dyed, dipshit!

Hey, Pinktrick.

Heather.

Oh yes!

Make sure you put that under

your pillow tonight and I'll come a-knocking.

In your dreams, needle dick.

Think about it?

I did, ew, grody!

Whoa man, there ain't no beer in there.

Seriously?!

Don't vag out on me, Heather took the last one.

Sorry, dude.

Really?

Are there anymore?

Major bummer, man!

Thank you.

What the fuck?

Asshole!

Hey Pinktrick, go to the

corner store and get some more beer, man.

More beer?

With what?

Hold on, I think I got some here.

That.

All right.

Oh hey, Tina.

I was wondering if after the art show

we go back to my place and you let me

Jackson Pollock all over your Georgia O'Keeffe.

Let's Vincent van Gogh, baby.

Marissa, get over here!

Delta Pi!

All right, Marissa, as you know,

to be an official Delta Pi, we