American Dad!

Banana, Sheriff?

Banana, Sheriff?

How about a banana, Sheriff?

A banana? That does sound good.

What's wrong with my bananas?

Oh. Right.

Dear God, a suspicious package!

Banana, Sheriff?

Not now, man!

Clear the beach!

Go for bomb unit.

Steady...

Don't rush it.

Damn it, he got spooked!

Phew, just a white devil.

Everyone can go back to handing each other different fruits!

Really?

I mean, what the are we doing here?

Aah!

I am so jealous you guys are going to the game!

I can't believe the Bazooka Sharks made the playoffs!

That's what the five-week regular season was all about.

3-2, baby!

Sure there's no extra ticket?

Damn sure...

- that there is one. - What?!

And it's going to my boy, Steve.

Why would you bring me?

Yeah! Nobody loves the 'Zooks more than Klaus!

I bleed silver and ocean lime.

Klaus, you're not coming

because you're wearing a t-shirt jersey.

Oh. The guy at Marshalls said this was the real deal.

Dad, take the fish.

I'm almost through my annual re-read of "The Joy Luck Club."

No, Steve, I need a human torso.

Dick has community service,

so you have to step in as our "A."

"R"? "A"?

What's the team name, the Ragamuffins?

Yeah, Marshalls customer service, please.

It doesn't exist?!

So we're just gonna hang out in the parking lot

for three hours before the game?

No, Steve.

We're also gonna pound Jagerbombs

and maybe get into a fist fight with a middle-aged woman.

It's called tailgating.

Excellent!

You brought the child, as we discussed.

What are you doing?! Stop it!

Look at that blank canvas.

- Dad? - Wait!

Steve's right. If anyone's gonna spray his "A,"

it should be his father.

Tickets! Tickets! Need tickets, I got 'em.

Have tickets, I want 'em.

Thanks, Roger, but we're good.

Got a great pair on the 50-yard line, handicapped zone.

Need a wheelchair, I got it.

Have a wheelchair, I want it.

Need a high-protein snack on the go? Try walnuts!

Eh, we're just here for the tailgate.

We don't really care about football.

Oh, I can make you care.

You just need a little skin in the game.

- What? - I'll take that action.

Put you down for a dime on the Sharks.

A dime on the Sharks?

Smart bet. They got a lot of heat

coming out of the regular season.

3-2, baby!

This is gonna be incredible.

Been looking forward to it all week...

The game, not the pee.

I peed a couple days ago.

Remember to toss a penny in before you leave.

Ew! That splashed me!

Dude, that's eight months of good luck!

Could you move down a little bit?

Oh, I'm the weirdo.

You haven't peed a drop the whole time I've been watching.

When's the game gonna start?

Not until Sky Crooner says it does.

It's game time, honey!

Whoa!

Whoo! Ohh!

Some say the ropes don't keep him from falling to the Earth,

but rather, from flying to the heavens.

Some say.

Take his head off!

- Kill him! - Slit his throat!

That was savage! I-Is he all right?!

He's dead?!

Welcome to the Sharks' nest, baby!

Mama, you like this?

Hell, yeah, I like Sharks' ball on the 30.

The Dreyer's Ice Cream-A-Torium?

We get a free scoop at half-time.

The widow picks the flavor.

Here comes Johnny!

The quarterback.

That's Juan Consuelo, A.K.A. Johnny Concussion.

Without a doubt, the greatest player

in arena football history... Probably.

No one keeps records.

Dad, Mr. Concussion isn't moving.

Is he dead, too?

Brain dead, maybe.

Real dead, no way.

Johnny Concussion always gets back up.

Bazooka Sharks fans, looks like Johnny's out cold.

Let's help him shake out those cobwebs!

See? He's totally fine.

This is barbaric.

And you're cheering for it.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Do you have something with the essence of ginger

or anything to settle a rumbly tumbly?

I got a 'Zooka Zinger.

That's Goldschlager and Mountain Dew.

Maybe just some nachos.

And take your time, I'm in no rush to...

Johnny Concussion?!

Excuse me, young lady, could you point me toward the field?

The field? What... What's wrong with you?

You almost died on the field.

Yeah, the field.

That's where Johnny goes.

Do you have any idea what concussions do to your brain?

They're killing you!

You're looking at me. Am I supposed to do something?

Am I supposed to throw a football?

Johnny!

Where did you go?

Your team needs ya.

Okay, Johnny. You want to get back to the field?

Right through here.

I can't go back without my Johnny.

Anyone care for a nacho?

Oh, Steve, it's terrible!

Johnny Concussion is missing.

Oh, no! They're putting in the backup quarterback,

Donny Forfeit!

Don't do it, Donny!

I got to do it! I don't have a choice!

Red 42.

Omaha!

- (whistle toots) Sharks forfeit!

Why did we draft him?!

The season's over!

Steve, tell me the truth.

Did they write two letters on me because I'm fat?

Last night after the Pizza Rockets

defeated the Bazooka Sharks, the town of Aberdeen

came together for a night of terrifying,

but well-deserved rioting.

This is shameful.

That should be our elementary school on fire.

I can't believe Johnny Concussion disappeared

in the middle of the game.

Yeah, that's weird.

But it's a mystery we don't have time to solve.

What, with indoor lacrosse season only a month off.

Laser Rats, baby!

I bleed tangerine and razzmatazz-red!

Lacrosse is for girls.

You're a girl.

Look! They found Johnny Concussion!

Johnny, your surprise mid-game retirement shocked everyone.

Take us through your decision.

Honestly, I-I didn't make the decision.

My guardian a-angel did.

Guardian angel?

Oh, yeah.

My angel said concussions were killing me,

and I had to stop playing.

He had angel glasses and a high-pitched angel voice.

I'm gonna be late for school.

It was this little baby

with a giant "A" painted on his little, baby chest.

So, the hunt is on for Johnny's guardian angel.

Wait, I'm receiving word that it's Steve Smith.

Thanks, Francine!

It's your fault our season's over?

I just gave him the facts!

You should leave, Steve.

And come back right after school?

'Cause I'll always be loved here?

Hey, Steve? Since I'll never see your bitch ass again,

I might as well tell you.

I'm the one who snaked all your Kit-Kats last Halloween.