The Simpsons

The Simpsons S19E08 - Funeral for a Fiend -

Can I help you with that, sir?

Oh, no.

I ain't tippin' some jerk two bucks to tie a TV to my car.

Mama Moe didn't raise no fools.

Well,

I guess I can just keep watching DVDs

by following family vans around.

Big Bird in China?

Won't Grover get lonely?

Oh, no, wait.

He's hangin' out with Derek Jeter.

Now ignore all the fancy

shmancy things thingamajigs, boy.

We're just gonna get a camera battery and go home.

Are you interested in a car stereo?

No, thanks. Just here for a battery.

Big special on camcorders!

All I want is a battery.

Care to make love, sir?

Battery, battery, battery!

Hmm...

No!

Bingo!

One battery, please.

That'll be 50 cents,

or free with the purchase of a $200 TiVO

plus a two-year contract.

Sold!

Sucker.

Sir, your TiVO?

My what now?

Oh, no.

Oh!

Come on, Lisa!

The TV's been off for five whole minutes!

The TiVO is installed!

Now we catch shows and skip the commercials!

Will Itchy win again,

or will something else happen?

We'll find out right after these ten commercials.

Oh, no, we won't.

Whoa!

I spit on your corpse, advertisers

supporting television.

Yeah!

And now for the exciting conclusion!

Oh, the hilarity!

Mmm.

Without the commercial interruption,

I could really follow the story.

TiVo, you've got a season pass to my heart.

Ooh, Opal!

Sounds like you've given us some words to eat by.

Doctor Chef will be back after these messages!

Here's a message for you.

Welcome back.

I have some big, big news.

My boyfriend Straightman just proposed...

...that we go on separate vacations again this year!

Hmm. I think I'll speed through the cheering.

Oh, TiVO remote

you've changed my life.

I've gotten so much accomplished.

I saved Lost,

watched all Rome in a day,

and got Two and a half men in

two and a half minutes.

Then I ran out of space

and had to choose between Sophie's Choice

and Schindler's list.

Why is everything Hollywood make so excellent?

Why?

Marge Simpson!

Oh!

Keith Olbermann?!

That's right,

content burglar Marge Simpson.

You've been watching TV shows,

but skipping the commercials that pay for them.

That makes you...

the worst person in the world!

Oh, lighten up.

You TV fat cats have plenty of money.

My cousin Marine saw you flying in business class!

I was upgraded against my will!

Look Marge, you think I'm handsome don't you?

Of course.

It takes a team of 20 people to keep me that way,

without ad money,

I'd look like a swamp monster from a child's nightmare!

And under here, I look even worse.

Then it gets better,

then even worse!

Oh stop it!

Oh stop it! I'll watch the commercials!

That's why this is the only mop endorsed by me,

former NFL draft pick, Ryan Leaf.

Mom, what are you doing?

I'm honoring America's advertisers.

Then we're going to buy some toothpaste, lease a new car,

vote "yes" on prop 87.

No! No!

Prop 87 lets big polluters off the hook!

Impossible.

Their commercial featured a talking frog.

So tell those idiots in the State Capital

to let Union Carbide do their thing.

Paid for by Cartoon Frogs For Wetlands Destruction.

Howdy, folks!

Are you tired of family arguments over where to go to dinner?

Sometimes I think about gettin' on a bus and never comin' back.

Why not try Wes Doobner's World

Famous Family Style Rib Huts?

The rib joint with something for everyone.

Good luck with my finicky appetite.

We've got ribs.

Sold!

Plain noodles.

Ugh.

With butter.

Yowza!

Texas tofu!

Yummy, yumma!

And the easiest placemat puzzle in the state.

Let me at it!

We're going to a restaurant grand opening

But don't fill up on bread

That's how they get ya.

That's odd. There doesn't seem to be anyone here.

More ribs for me!

There aren't any tables or chairs.

More ribs for me!

I see no grill, oven or food of any kind.

More ribs for me?

Hello,

Simpsons.

Finally, some service. Now listen.

We want to sit under a cool state license plate.

Michigan or better.

Silence!

You've all stumbled into my ingenious trap.

That voice!

Oh!

That commercial was a trick.

Specifically designed to lure our family here.

And "Wes Doobner's World Famous Family

anagram!

Welcome to Sideshow Bob's World Famous

Family Style Return!

Ahhhhhhh!

Sideshow Bob!

And now you're all going to die,

just because you watched a television commercial!

Oh, next time a commercial comes on, I'm gonna close my eyes,

cover my ears and scream as loud as I can.

Before you die, perhaps you'd like to know

how I engineered my ultimate revenge.

I'd like to know if Wes Doobner is aware

of what you're doing in his restaurant.

I'm Wes Doobner.

Mr. Doobner, I havea complaint:

I work hard, and when I go out with my family,

I expect a certain level of basic

Shut up!

Now, since last we met...

Oh great, here it comes

all the boring things you've done

since the last time you didn't kill us.

You never ask what we've been up to.

We went to the strawberry patch

and I picked the most strawberries!

Shut up!

This time, to liven up my tale,

I brought along some visual aids.

Just call me...

Slideshow Bob!

Nobody do it.

Here, we see Krusty helping you escape my clutches in Rome.

After that,

my family and I fled to England,

where I found work as a chimney brush.

Here's Buckingham Palace...

Sorry, there's a lot of these...

Bear with me.

Yeah, yeah, we've all been to England.

Is this going somewhere?

I never stopped plotting my revenge.

I snuck into America

amidst a bunch of undocumented Canadian

comedy writers for The Jimmy Kimmel Show,

whatever that is.

Then, it was merely a matter

of constructing my trap...

and producing the commercial

that lured you to your dooms.

Which, by the way,

got me an offer to direct a feature.

Which one?

"The Hills Have Eyes Three: The Hills Still Have Eyes".