The Trades

Audrey: What the?

Is this normal?

Todd: Yeah, I think it is.

They're crazy, but they're harmless.

Audrey: There's more protestors than crew.

Todd: Yeah, on holidays a skeleton crew keeps the lights on.

Just you wait.

More people will trickle in to help build the float.

You wanna do the parade after?

Is that even a choice?

Is Christmas a choice?

Jesus Auds, it's fuckin' Labour Day!

The highlight of a tradesman's year!

We march together and celebrate us!

And we show how grateful we are to the town.

Yeah and we dummy every chilled keg on Main Street afterwards.

Wow. That is some top shelf community engagement

right there.

Hey VanLeuen!

You're about a year early.

Got booked last minute.

Double time.

Integrity checks, soil samples.

We do all the checks!

Well, maybe not well enough.

Fuck you!

Is that bad news?

Not today.

Atta boy.

Now you go in there

and you build yourself a stellar float and enjoy yourself.

Merry Christmas!

Fuck yeah!

No need to knock.

Rule of thumb,

when the doors open a crack, it means enter.

Smells good in here.

Chelsea: Okay.

Nice espresso machine!

Chelsea: Oh, by all means.

Say, you're tied into corporate.

You'd let us know...

Oh shit. Sorry.

You'd let us know if any significant changes were coming.

Just help yourself to a latte.

You have the weight of the world on your shoulders, Todd.

Well, we've been falling behind on our targets

and now you're bringing in third parties.

I'm getting a handle on the clean-up after Bennett.

The environmental check is part of that.

Are you trying to catch us with our dicks out?

No offence.

Let me ask you this:

Would you describe Randy Bennett

as "organized" or "negligent"?

The second one.

I mean, we all knew he was a mess.

Why didn't corporate do something earlier?

You're like three years too late.

And I had to run defensive coverage on his bullshit.

This thing is dumb.

I get there can be animosity

between corporate and the front line.

Yeah. This is an example of why,

because corporate doesn't listen to us.

Conch is a hundred percent

behind this refinery. This town.

Which is why they approved two floats

in the parade this year.

Okay, I guess you think that makes everything-

Wait, what?

Two floats?!

Every year I email head office with that exact idea,

never hear back.

Chelsea: Well, now you will.

And it's good to have someone on the inside.

Yes. Yes!

Oh no, no, no!

Todd: Are you trying to catch us with our dicks out?

No offence.

Chelsea: Let me ask you-

Labour Day celebrates the achievement

of blue-collar workers.

The achievement of you.

Woo! Yes!

I look out here and I see a sea of colour.

Len: The diversity of trade and talent!

Len: Not now! Later.

Jesus fucking Christ.

What'd I miss?

Sleazy PR guy beakin' off.

We like to encourage competition...

One that spawns innovation!

That's why we are enlisting not just one,

but two floats in the parade today.

Fuck yeah!

Holy shit,

I can't believe they actually read your email.

Todd: Finally.

We getting paid double time?!

How does double time work

when we're doing this volunteer, bud?

So this year's theme...

is "The Future of Conch Industries"...

And I thought it would be fun to have two teams:

the domestic workers versus the internationals.

So me versus everybody.

Chelsea: No, no, no. We're not doing that.

Just one second please.

Is this dildo trying to start a race war?!

Nah, you've gotta be more like the Olympics.

He's not fucking serious?

What? You said I could make the rules for the competition.

Now you're poo-pooing my idea.

You're the Head of PR.

Think about the optics of what you just said.

Dang it, you're right.

What if we made a hundred grand of income

the line in the sand here?

No!

Management versus Entry-Level?

Guys versus Gals?

Guys and Dolls?

Young versus Old?

And the teams will be Youngbloods versus Old School.

The youthful and ambitious

against the mature and experienced.

It is my honour to lead you in your march today.

And to add to the spirit of this friendly event,

you can only use materials found on site.

And judging the best float will be Medhi Chowdry,

our very own Chief Engineer.

Alright. Aright. Alright. Alright.

I know what you're all thinking...

And yes, I can be bribed.

Confetti cannon. Now!

Tradesman 1: Oh, what the hell?

Tradesman 2: In your eye!

But you don't just have one.

Chelsea: Alright, just wrap it up, okay.

Wrap it up.

Go make your floats!

Later, geezers.

I'm off to the dream team.

Me too.

Oh shit.

Oh my...

Oh, you poor...

How can you fuckin'-

You fuckin' poor...

Fuck!

Something isn't right.

Did you see the Enviro-Vestigate guys?

Soil samples, pressure checks today?

They're using your love of tradition against you.

I mean, look at you, you're distracted.

You probably still leave milk and cookies out for Santa Claus.

I just told you I think something's up.

It's time for you to go covert.

They're playing you like a fuckin' fiddle.

Wait, did you say covert?

I did.

Confirmed.

What tactics are permitted?

Any means necessary.

You are now activated.

Ghost protocol.

No one can know your objective.

The truth is out there, Homer.

And I want you to find it.

Roger that.

I hear ya.

Homer: Oh fuck! Son of a bitch!

Oh yeah, you don't have to drink that.

I'm all good, Chelse.

That went great.

You must have been at a different assembly than me.

Codename: VAPETRAIL.

The lunchroom is more deserted than expected.

It is a holiday.

Targets are isolated,

so I'm unable to hear audio.

But I watched a webinar recently on deciphering body language.

Skill enabled.

Listen, I, uh, hear this place can't cut the mustard.

Must be stressful being the one in charge

of shutting it down.

Yeah, just keep that to yourself.

We can't let that news get out until we're ready.

Of course not!

What the? - Fuck! Fuck!

I've been spotted but I've engaged Stealth Mode.

Vanish!

Len: Poor suckers.

Well, at least they get one more Labour Day.

Would'ya look at that.

a sign of dominance.

Similar to the infamous chest poke of the Illuminati.

You know how tough it was

to spin a drugged-out boss overdose story?