Kawaisugi Crisis

Look, we might as well destroy the planet.

Their civilization is far too primitive.

Deploy the ToxiCloud and purge all lifeforms.

Minerals and water, nothing more.

Slow down, Liza. Every planet is unique.

Cultures, ideologies, nature, history...

It may be hiding something useful to us, the Azatoth Empire.

And out of all of Azatoth's researchers, you're the most brilliant.

It seems unremarkable from the outside, yes. But that's why we need your expertise.

The Azatoth Empire's reign spans a myriad of stars and planets.

And now, they've set their sights on Planet Earth...

Something useful? Oh please, I doubt it.

This place is a glorified dump.

The planet's lifeforms are lacking in intelligence, indicative of an ignorant and uncultured civilization.

I can already tell it's the most primitive planet I've ever studied.

These people possess knowledge that eludes my understanding?

Yeah right.

Ugh, this blows...

I say we just activate the Supergravitron and flatten the whole thing.

We want to know what their cuisine is like.

Can you locate a suitable establishment?

Sure, whatever.

A café? They ought to serve snacks.

Works for me.

Hello, there! Welcome to the Nyanday Cat Café.

"Cat café"?

Cat... café. Cat...?

It's 500 yen for 30 minutes, and extension prices are listed right over here.

Sure, no problem.

Okay then, follow me.

Cat...? Cat...

What in the world is a cat?

Be careful when you enter the room. They have a tendency to bolt.

...iss?

Miss...?

Miss!

Um, I need to close the door so that the kitties don't escape...

Is something the matter?

I-I...

Wh-what are these... creatures?

Huh? Well, uh... Oh.

This little guy is an American Shorthair named Hajime.

A-and that's a type of cat?

Y-yes, it is...

Oh! Miss, did you perhaps mistake us for an ordinary café when you walked in?

What in the hell ARE these creatures? These cats...

Impossible... Impossible!

These creatures, they're so...

Oh, my god! They're WAY too cute!

Impossible! They're the most spectacular organisms I've ever seen!

This can't be happening... Just look at that form!

Their soft tufts of fur, their physique!

They even make cute noises!

MY BRAIN'S GONNA EXPLODE!

I've studied over 66 trillion species of intergalactic lifeforms, but these things blow them all out of the water!

They make the top three universally adored creatures look like the scrawlings of a kindergartener!

Here's the drink you ordered.

Th-thanks.

The drink is average...

I suspect the cuisine isn't the primary appeal of this establishment.

The customers come here for these creatures. These cats.

If cats are this adorable, then the humans must revere or even worship them.

I need to know more!

Um, you seem really nervous, Miss. Are you afraid of cats?

No, it's just... This is my first time.

Ah, visiting a cat café?

No. Meeting a cat.

What?

I don't know anything about them. Y'see, I'm from another planet.

O-oh really...?

Th-then that would make you an alien, right?

Wow! I've never met an alien in person before!

He's playing along 'cause he thinks I'm a delusional customer...

Perhaps he dislikes confrontation... Well, I can work with that.

Approximately how many cats live on Planet Earth?

They must be pretty rare.

Around 100? Closer to 200?

If I recall correctly, there are over ten million cats in Japan alone.

TEN MILLION?!

And the number of domestic cats goes up every year.

I've got one myself.

DOMESTIC?!

Y-you can... keep them as pets?!

No, he can't be serious...

Coming home to a cat in your house?

What is this, some sort of fairyland?!

And they're all over the country?!

I wanna quit my job, blow off all my responsibilities, and hang out with cats all day long!

How am I supposed to resist that kind of temptation?!

What the hell's wrong with these Earthlings?!

They're very sweet.

They saunter on over when they want attention and then turn into big babies when you pet them.

Spoiled, aren't they?

You've gotta be kitten me...

They usually keep to themselves, but they like to act silly sometimes.

Isn't that just the cutest thing?

But how? How can something so loveable exist?!

When I was growing up... All the things I was obsessed with...

M-Miss...?

Everything I've ever loved is practically garbage in comparison...

The creatures on this planet... These cats...

From an evolutionary standpoint, they're the ultimate lifeform!

I-I mean, all animals are cute in their own way...

YOU IDIOT!

MY ENTIRE LIFE HAS JUST BEEN TURNED UPSIDE DOWN!

M-Miss... I'll have to ask you to lower your voice.

You're going to scare the poor kitties...

Huh?!

S-sorry! It was an accident...

I didn't realize they were such delicate creatures...

Had I known they feel stress... I wish you would've told me!

My apologies.

No, no... It's my fault. I'm sorry...

How's it going, Liza?

Didja find anything interesting?

N-not really!

Should I tell them about my discovery...?

No, not yet... It's too dangerous.

Cats take cuteness to a whole 'nother level!

And the captain... He goes nuts over animals!

Are there any cute animals to speak of, my dear Liza?

N-n-nope, not a single one! Trust me! None whatsoever.

Then shall we deploy the ToxiCloud and purge the planet?

Wait a minute! Let's not be hasty!

But you just said-

I mean, I only just started my investigation!

Be patient, okay? I'm sure I'll find something useful around here!

Bye for now!

Sorry for raising my voice again... Are the cats alright?

Th-they're fine.

Wh-why's it staring at me...? What do I do...?!

I think he wants your attention.

You're welcome to pet him. He loves scritches.

See? Just like this.

Give...

Give...?

Give me a break!

Just looking at it makes my blood pressure skyrocket! If my heart beats any faster, it's gonna pop like a balloon!

It's touching me... It put its foot on me...

Oh, this is bad... I've been backed into a corner...

This softness, this pleasant sensation...

I've never felt anything like it!

This is it... This is how I die!

C'mon, Hajime. No murdering the customers.

Without its weight on my body, I feel empty inside...

Make up your mind...

Is there something stuck to the bottom of its foot?

It had a weird texture-

The bottom of his foot? You mean his paw pad?

ITS LITTLE FEETS ARE SO PRECIOUS!

M-Miss?!

I... can't take it...

It's just... too damn cute...!

Speaking of which, an alien came into the café yesterday.

Seriously? That's surprising.

Never thought I'd hear good ol' Stone-faced Mukai tell a joke.

Look, I didn't believe it at first either.

But she was using some sort of strange communication device,

and she passed out when she saw Hajime's paw pad.

How come?

It was "too cute," apparently.

Oh, that's her right there.

What?

Wh-what the hell's wrong with this creature?!

Why's it chasing me?!

Because of the ball...? Is this what it wants?!

C-come back, Mamehiko!

A creature that wags its fluffy tail and runs after a toy?!

Oh, my god... It's...

...SO FRICKIN' CUTE!

I-I'm so sorry! The leash slipped out of my hand!

Jeez, I can't believe you took off like that...

He must've thought you were playing since you picked up the ball.

What is that thing...?

It's, uh... called a "dog."

A dog!

Oh, not again... My heart can't handle this much excitement...

I need to sit down for a minute.

Sure, no problem...

Surrounded by cats on one side and dogs on the other!

It's a nice problem to have, isn't it?

Wow, she might actually be an alien.

Her reaction is certainly out of this world!

Miss Alien, was that your first time meeting a dog?

Yeah...

And their cuteness could destroy the space-time continuum...

Dogs are adorable, aren't they?

Up until recently, they outranked cats as the number one most popular household pet.

Number one?! Over cats?

It's the age-old argument of cats versus dogs.

Some people feel very strongly about which one makes the better companion.

That makes sense...

Their furry little bodies are instantly recognizable from afar...

And they're always full of energy!

Just looking at them puts a smile on my face!

And when they swish their tails? Don't get me started!

Dogs are a totally different flavor of cute!