Totally F***ed Up

Are we filming yet?

Okay, I'm starting.

Wait, move to your right.

Look at me.

- I guess you could say I'm totally fucked up.

My name's Andy.

My friends call me Eraserhead.

Actually ...

I don't have any friends.

That's not true either.

I'm 18.

Hello, Andy.

There you are.

Where've you been?

You look like you're having a great time.

This music sucks.

So what else is new?

Tommy.

I'm like 19, and ...

Could we start over?

I'm Tommy, and I'm like 19.

And uh ...

Wow.

Check out that bicep box.

Definite slip on the radar screen.

My heart's all aflutter.

Yeah well. Catch you later, dude.

Right.

I'm Michele.

I'm Patricia.

- And we both think this is completely retarded.

- Hey, have you seen Tommy or Andy?

I saw Tommy a while ago.

Don't know where Andy is.

- I haven't seen Andy for like an hour,

and it's practically last call.

Maybe he got lucky.

Maybe

- He wouldn't have left without telling us.

- Well, I'm fully ready to get out of here.

This place is giving me a headache.

Going to the wall after?

Probably.

I'm Steven.

And I'm making this video

because I want to show the way things really are.

It's never really good to see that

in TV and the movies.

Shit.

My name is Deric, and I'm 19.

I'm gonna be starting Otis Parsons in the fall,

which I'm really excited about.

- So is this supposed to be like a screen test, or what?

Am I done?

Okay, cut.

Hey, where the fuck have you been?

Been looking all over.

You guys about ready to go?

I'm bored down to my core.

That's why we're looking for you

in the first place, you nimrod.

- We had to get our jackets, first all right?

Wanna go to the wall?

- There's this movement in like Yugoslavia,

these teenagers, I think they're called, like

the Black Death Cult, or something,

they've gone on this like suicide kick.

What?

They started offing themselves.

The state officials don't know what to do about it.

I swear.

People in Europe are such the posers.

- But the best part is, they get their inspiration

from like, Joy Division, The Cure, The Smiths.

- Guess they can't buy Jesus and Mary Chain over there.

- So now all the parents are banning their kids

from listening to these groups.

You're making this all up.

It was in the LA Weekly.

So I slept with this guy,

and he has the most beautiful, amazing penis I've ever--

Cut or uncut?

Uncut, of course!

Pass the fucking fire extinguisher.

God, I can still smell them.

Why is it fags have to wear so much perfume?

- So they can sniff each other out in the dark.

Don't light any matches.

There's a little slut.

Lick my love gun.

Hey I left my jacket in your car

and I'm off to seventh heaven with this teenage dream.

You mean that bleach job?

Does he like tear my head off

and stick it in a plastic bag for sex or what?

Well, he's not a rocket scientist.

You know what the value of a twink is.

Jeez, you're a fucking hard ass.

- So what? You gonna pick up the jacket tomorrow?

Yeah, you be around?

I think so. Call me first.

Okay. Later taters.

Don't forget your raincoat.

Thanks, mom.

Doesn't he ever sleep alone?

He's stuck in the 70s time warp.

I'm starving.

Where do you want to go?

Not Okadas.

Last time I ate there, I had cramps for a week.

Denny's?

I saw a roach there once this big.

Gross-amatic!

- We haven't slept together for, like, a week.

Four days.

Same difference.

Come on, don't mope.

I'm not moping.

Come over tomorrow, okay?

Love you sexy baby giraffe.

Yeah?

I uh, made up one of those

hokey what's in what's out lists the other night,

and this is what I came up with.

What's in?

Bigotry, sexism, Jesus, homophobia,

stupidity, violence,

spiritual bullshit,

making money.

What's out?

Punk rock, abortion.

Sex.

Sexual intercourse.

What am I talking about? Sex?

I think it's overrated.

It's such the intense release.

Like this dam busting.

My favorite thing

is being kissed.

Softly ...

All over.

Like the insides of my thighs.

- I guess I haven't figured out exactly what it is

I like to do yet.

But I do think butt-fucking is totally gross.

I mean, how can anyone put their dick

where shit comes out?

Yeah, fuck my ass.

Yeah, yeah.

Wanna touch mine?

- Safe sex is like, don't get too carried away,

don't lose control.

Well, I'm almost kind of glad

that it's not like it was in the good old days.

Guys getting fist fucked in a sling,

doing it in the bushes,

drinking each other's pee.

I'm sure.

- I'm sorry, I don't feel like being videotaped

while I'm having sex, all right?

What if my mom got a hold of it?

She wouldn't care.

I mean, it's not like she can't hear everything

through these walls, anyway.

- There is a slight difference between hearing it

and seeing it on fucking TV.

You're such a prude.

So what?

If I don't let you bring your camera to bed,

you don't wanna have sex at all, then?

I don't know.

I could have sex constantly.

24 hours a day.

Here comes the sud nipples.

Sex is total bliss.

A little moment of heaven in this hell on earth.

Sex ...

Is just a hassle.

What do you want?

I don't know.

I do know that I don't want to be fucked.

Just not into that.

Well I am.

Can't we just do something else?

I'm not into something else.

Okay.

Fine.

Maybe I better just go.

Maybe that's a good idea.

Where's my fucking underwear?

- AIDS discriminates against no one

it strikes both men and women

of every age