Meet Cute

[Lauren Spencer-Smith's "Will You Love Me Tomorrow"]

* *

- * Tonight you're mine completely *

* *

* You give your love so sweetly *

* *

* Tonight the light of love *

* Is in your eyes *

* *

* But will you love me tomorrow? *

* *

* Is this a lasting treasure *

- * Sha-la-la-la, sha-la-la-la *

- * Or just a moment's pleasure? *

- * Sha-la-la-la, sha-la-la-la *

* Can I believe *

* The magic of your sighs? *

* Will you still love me tomorrow? *

- Players surging forward with real menace.

Delivery to Vinnie Fisk!

It's a perfect touch. He's on the breakaway.

Keeper comes out--

* *

Thirsty?

- No--good. I'm--I've got something.

- I wasn't talking about the drink.

- What? No. What?

- You've been staring at the guy

like you've been waiting to meet him your whole life.

Go say hello.

Buy him a drink.

No, not me, uh-uh. No.

No, thank you.

Actually, okay.

Okay.

Thirsty?

Hmm?

- Uh, for a drink. Not--not sexually.

Gross. I didn't mean it like that.

I'm gonna order an alcoholic beverage.

Would you like to have one, too, with--with me?

Uh, sure. Why not?

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Okay, great.

Phil. - What can I get you?

both: Old fashioned.

How adorable.

It's a real cute vibe going on here.

- Okay, two old fashioneds, and you can cut that out, Phil.

Hi, I'm Sheila. - Hi.

- Hi. - I'm, uh--I'm Gary.

Oh, Gary.

Wow, so we both have, like, old-timey names.

- Yeah, and I guess very sadistic parents.

- Oh, don't even get me started.

I mean, there's no couch in here.

But yeah, Gary's-- that's a good name.

That's, like, a strong name.

- Yeah, I guess, if you're, like,

a used car salesman or something.

Oh, wait, you're not a--

A--a used car salesman?

Or a mechanic?

No, no. No. Sorry.

- Really needed to get my car fixed,

so I should probably go.

Oh...

- I'm totally kidding. - Okay.

- - Okay.

- Ah! Oh, yay! - Yeah.

Thanks, Phil.

both: Cheers, mate!

That was kinda weird.

Well, not really.

I mean, what are the odds?

- Odds are pretty good, actually.

Gary, I gotta come clean with you.

I'm a time traveler from the future.

So I knew everything you were gonna say.

- Right. Okay. -

- Okay. - Yeah.

- So what is the future like?

- Kind of what you'd expect, you know.

Robots hunting down inferior robots

while the humans just watch and do nothing.

- So kind of like "Blade Runner"?

- No, that's a work of fiction, Gary.

This is reality I'm talking about.

Yeah. Sorry.

Yeah, you're right. -

- Uh, well, excuse me, but it sounds like

things are pretty rough for robots in the future.

Yes. It's a real injustice.

But you know, I wouldn't worry about it.

They actually started their own civil rights movement.

- Wow. - It's making headway.

I can't talk about it.

Plus, I don't wanna fuck up your timeline.

- Thank you. Thank you. - You're welcome.

- Because I like my timeline. - Yeah.

No, totally. - You know. So, um--

Mm-hmm.

You know, all this time travel

really makes a girl super hungry.

Wow.

That's--that's super interesting.

So I'm gonna get some food.

Would you like to come with me and get food?

Food. Yeah.

Let's--let's-- let's go get you some food.

- Yeah? - Yeah. Yeah.

- Okay. - All right.

Okay. Bye, Phil.

* *

I noticed you weren't really watching the game in there.

So what do you have against televised sports?

Did, like, a football kill your grandpa or something?

Yeah, actually, it did.

Love you, Grandpa.

- - No.

I didn't really grow up in a sports-friendly household.

You know, my dad was never home.

He was, like, a traveling professor.

And yeah, we never played catch or anything like that.

So I just, like, stayed inside and watched movies.

And you know, before I knew it, he was dead.

- I'm sorry. - Don't be.

What are you gonna do? You know?

My dad's dead too.

Oh.

- I don't know why...

Uh, he was a--also a traveling alcoholic, more so.

Traveled from bar to bar, you know?

And then eventually it just--it killed him.

I'm sorry.

That's okay.

- Well, clearly, it didn't fuck either one of us up.

- No. Very normal people. - Yeah.

We're so normal. - Mm-hmm.

- Nothing wrong with us at all. - No.

I mean, other than the fact that

I'm about to ruin your life. - Yeah?

I had a feeling.

Ladies, come drink for free!

Okay. We're here.

What should we choose?

- Well, it's a real "Sophie's Choice"

kind of decision now, isn't it?

- I love it when you make that joke.

- What? - What?

Best vindaloo in town!

Eight stars on the Yelp.

Eight stars on Yelp!

We have to go to that one.

Mr. Jeff Medolla

from "The Bachelorette" eat here.

- Oh. - Yes.

- Are you playing peekaboo or something?

- No, just looking at the menu. - Okay.

Well, I would like to see your face as soon as possible.

- Really? - If that's possible, yeah.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

I wanna see your face. - Okay.

Let's just order so we can get the business out of the way,

you know, and get to pleasure, from one OCD person to another.

You understand that, right? I'll be right back.

- Yeah, for sure. - Hold on.

- Okay. - Just looking at the menu.

- Where'd Sheila go? I can't see her.

Chicken korma.

- There she is. - Boom.

What were you asking me?

The time travel thing?

- Oh, yes. - Like, yeah.

Where are you-- what year are you from?

Oh, here's the thing, Gary.

I have got to come clean with you.

- You're not from the future, are you?

I mean, I kinda figured, but... - No, I am.

I am, actually. Very much.

I wouldn't lie about that.

But I'm just not from very far in the future.

I'm from... 24 hours in the future.

24 hours in the future?

You can do that? - Yeah.

- That's incredible. - It's so cool.

- They have the technology to do that?

- They do. - It exists now?

- Mm-hmm. - Wow.

- I know. - Well, where is it located?

- At a nail salon. - Mm.

- Excuse me, can I get the chicken korma?

- Chicken korma. - Thank you. It's so good.

And maybe two glasses of the cab.

Is that okay with you? - Mm-hmm.

Are you gonna order?

- I'll have the chicken vin--vindaloo.

Oh, you won't regret it.

Nine stars on the Yelp. - Nine stars on Yelp.

- Huh. - I read a lot of reviews.