Victorious

So, the lowest level of the globe theater

was reserved for "the groundlings"

who were the lower class people who came out to enjoy...

You guys! I'm sorry I'm late,

but my mom slammed my hand in the car door!!!

Ahhhhh!!!

April fools!!!

Yeah!

- What are you, five years old? - Really.

But today's April fools day.

We really don't care.

April fools day is kinda for, y'know, little kids.

That's how we all feel.

But this school is so full of creative people,

I thought for sure April fools day would be a big deal here.

Well, it's not!

Okay, "tori"?

So just shut your face and let mister belding teach!

Thank you, Zack.

Now, as screech was saying,

a world without pants is like a donut...

Yes! Yes. Yes.

Oh c'mon. No one here is into April fools?

Oh! Okay!

Tori, I'm sorry Mr. belding took your purse.

And no, we don't celebrate April fools day here.

Now, who else has a question?

Andre.

I have a front loading washing machine

and lately, I've noticed that my washer isn't draining properly,

and it leaves my clothes both wet and damp.

Uh, what should I do?

Robbie, what's the answer?

First, rotate the drum by hand

and check for any scraping of the outer tub.

Then move the open end of the whirly-doink up and down

while moving the pump rod in a circular motion,

while making sure that there's less

than one quarter-inch of movement...

So, at Hollywood arts, everybody justgnores the fact

that today is April fools day.

- Yeah. - Pretty much.

Yeah, we ignore it.

Wait... did you just say you wanted a face full of trumpet?

What do you mean face full of...

Wait, was that the bell?

Ooo, there's the bell.

- Hey girlie. - What?

Oh, sinjin... Sinjin...

Hello, Tori.

How can I help you today?

Well, I was just in Sikowitz's class,

and everybody told me that no one at Hollywood arts

does anything fun for April fools day,

- and I just think that we... - Shhhhhh.

Now now, Tori... If you're gonna be my lady,

you need to do a lot less talkin'.

- I'm not gonna be your lady. - Heh heh heh.

We'll see about that.

Tori! Tori! Did ya hear? Did ya hear the news?!

- What, what happened?! - It's war!

It's war, Tori! It's war!

Is it Switzerland?!

Will you forget about the war?!

We're gonna have a pop quiz!

- But you just said... - It's true I tell ya!

I just heard it from two boys in the bathroom! At the urinal.

We're gonna have a pop quiz! A pop quiz is goin' down, Tori!

Oh my God! I hate pop quizzes!

How can you think about a pop quiz when we're at war?!

It's war, Tori! It's war!!

I gotta go recycle some aluminum!

ohhhh!!! I'm hit! Arrow!

I got hit in the leg by a swiss arrow!

Dang this cursed war!

I gotta get to class.

Helicopter!

Oh tofu, are you all right?

Did she hurt you? She tried to, didn't she?

It's awful hot in here. I better open a window.

Oh no! Tofu! Oh! Oh!! Oh!

Concussion!

Oh my goodness, tofu!

Well, I have a feeling we're not in the Hollywood arts bathroom anymore.

Oh no wait, we are, it's just in color.

- Well, hello. - Hello, if you please.

Are you a good witch, or a sandwich?

Who, me? Well, I'm neither a witch, nor a snack.

You're talkin' some crazy chiz.

Well, you do have the Ruby cell phone.

Oh my goodness!

Well, this phone is beautiful!

Were all my contacts transferred?

Who took my Ruby cell phone? Was it you?

Oh, I didn't mean to. Here, you can have it back.

- Good, give it. Dee-ahh-deeahh-dee-ahh-dee-ahh!

Curses!

I'll never be able to get that Ruby cell phone

as long as it's April fools day!

Y'know, speaking of that,

are we really not gonna do anything for April fools day?

Silence!!! I'll get you, my pretty.

And your little fish, too!

Oh be gone.

You have no powers in this restroom.

The witch sneers at Dorothy, then exits.

Oh my...

She spoke her stage directions.

What am I s'posed to do now?

Well, you are in a restroom. You could wazz.

Tofu too?

Tofu too.

Oh tofu.

I'm scared and frightened and afraid.

Oh my goodness, those are all synonyms.

- Don't be scared, Cat. - Robbie! Who are you?!

- Robbie. - Oh hiiii Robbie!

- We're here to help you. - Oh my!

Put 'em up! Put 'em up!

- Put what up? - Your socks... they fell down

- put 'em up! - Yes sir!

Now, how can we help you, Cat?

I just wanna get back to class.

Well that's easy.

First, ya just punch Robbie right in the face.

Wait, was that in the movie? 'Cause I don't remember getting p...

- Hey Leon... Leon... - Hey, what's up?

You're late for the next scene.

- I'm late? - Yes. Victoria's already started acting.

Oh man! Later y'all.

Sorry I'm late.

I was in the girls' bathroom doin' a wizard of oz bit.

Oh it's okay. Hey, where's our food?

Oh, here it comes.

- Thank you. - Excellent.

- Man, I am so hungry. - Me too.

Hey, can we get a couple of feeding children over here?

Two feeding children at table sixteen.

Tori! Tori! I'm running in with big news! Tori!

It's him!

What's the big news?!

The Beverly hills volcano is about to erupt!!!

What?!

In three-and-a-half minutes,

this whole school is gonna be covered with hot lava!

- We only have three-and-a-half minutes?

The same amount of time as a commercial break.

- Well... what do we do?! - I say we kiss!

- Okay, c'mere. - Not you!

You. Kiss me, Tori.

I want my last three-and-a-half minutes

to be spent with my face smushed against your face!

Are there any other ideas?

Tori, please!

All right.

Stay tuned for the second half of Victorious.

Or don't. I get paid either way.

And now, we continue with the exciting second half of Victorious.

Press play.

Tori! Andre! Have you heard?!

- Have ya heard the news?! - Later!!!

What news?!

I already told you! The Beverly hills volcano is about to erupt, now kiss me!

- No. No, the new news! - What new news?!

The Beverly hills volcano has retired and moved to Florida.

So it's probably not gonna spew hot lava all over Hollywood arts.

- Yay. - Yay.

Wait! I just heard we're about to be attacked by killer butterflies!

- No. - Wait!

Sinjin has two big jugs of anti-butterfly spray!