Being Human

My name's George. and I'm a werewolf.

It's from Lauren. Vampires film themselves making a kill

and then they pass it on. You made me this, Mitchell!

What was she like? Annie?

She was kind, funny and she was mine.

'Love should be the opposite of death.

'It should be our biggest reason for wanting to be here.

'I mean, what else have we got?

'Football? Shoes?'

Oh, God, I'm so sorry. Are you all right?

'But love gets complicated.

'It gets twisted up with other things, like possession

'and heartbreak, lust... ..and death.'

Whoa, whoa, we can't go in there, it's not safe.

It's PMT, she wrote it on the calendar.

How could she possibly have PMT? She's a ghost.

I don't know, but it's not worth the risk. Let's go to the chippy.

Mitchell, I have two steaks in the fridge that go off if I don't eat them today. And I'm bloody starving.

If you want, I could grab the steaks and we could just make a dash.

No way! I'm not eating raw meat like an animal

just because a ghost is ovulating.

Annie, are you OK?

This was a engagement present... and now look at it.

Just an unused kitchen utensil in the back of a drawer,

in a rented house that nobody loves.

I've always wondered what that is.

It's a mouli grater...

For shredding parsley.

Owen liked parsley sauce with boiled ham, it was his favourite.

Do you know what Thursday is?

It's the day we set for our wedding.

Oh, no, you poor thing... You should have said.

I don't want to think about it, I don't want to make it real!

To think that he'll be spending it with her, Janey Tango-face Harris, and...

she'll be cooking him...

parsley sauce and boiled ham!

Annie, Owen's moved on with his life. You need to as well.

I'm dead, in case you hadn't noticed.

But you've still got loads to offer, to the right...

person. Mitchell, I'm a ghost.

No-one can even see me. You know what, I think you need to meet some kindred spirits.

Right, we're taking you out.

No, no, thank you, I still have lots to do. I haven't even started on the cupboards yet.

OK, fine, if you want to sit here

and cry over a mouli grater...

Oh...

No, OK,

maybe we can go out, but just for a bit.

Nice one. George, get your lead.

"Tainted Love" by Soft Cell

Mitchell, it's '80s night.

Oh, hello, love!

What are we even doing here? I hate this music! You'll see.

Annie, this is Gilbert.

Gilbert... Annie, my house-mate.

All right. Nice to meet you.

Is it? How can he see me?

Like I said, he's a kindred spirit.

So you're, are you...?

Dead, yeah. Since 1985.

We're just going to get a drink. Come on.

How long have you...? What's it like...

What's it like living with Mitchell and his mate?

George! Yeah, it's great, it's great. I'm really grateful for the company actually.

You don't find it a bit...violent?

Violent? What do you mean?

You know, when they...

kill people? Oh, no, they don't do that.

Mitchell's on the wagon, and George, he restricts himself to the odd rat

or squirrel in the woods and he never brings it home.

Still, it's death for no reason. Death for no reason's murder.

I'm a vegetarian.

Hang the DJ! That tune came out in 1990!

Sorry. Who are you,

the '80s police?

No, no, just someone with taste. Right.

Are you sure this is a good idea?

This is what she needs, to meet someone with the same condition.

Anyway, it'll take her mind off Owen.

No, fair enough, it was such a success the last time

you encouraged one of us to meet someone with the same condition.

George, my friend, I do believe we're being checked out.

You don't have to do anything. Not unless you want to.

Of course I want to, I just can't.

I'm not safe.

I never know with you whether it's Jewish guilt or werewolf guilt.

They're pretty much the same thing.

What if I go and chat them up, and one of them likes me, and invites me

in for a coffee and I get tempted to smash the granny out of it?!

Hello, hi...

Smash the granny?

Yes, I'm sorry, that slipped out. It's my time of the month.

It's the same for you though, isn't it? If you sleep with someone, you might end up killing her.

I can control myself. Yeah? Uh-huh.

So what are you waiting for?

I'm just not in the mood.

You're just a bad penny, aren't you?

I wanted to make sure you got your present.

I was thinking of you the whole time, thinking of you watching me.

You know when I was a kid, my mum, my brothers, everyone said I was pretty enough to be in films.

Guess I finally did it. Yeah, they'd be so proud.

You did this to me.

You made me what I am. And I'll take responsibility for that.

But everything since then, everything you've done,

that was you. He was horrible, the guy that they picked.

He was cruel and he hurt me.

What do you mean? The guy who picked?

Herrick and the others, they made me do it, I didn't want to.

They thought that if you saw the film, you'd want me and you'd

come back. They thought that you wouldn't be able to stop yourself.

Yeah, well, they were wrong. I nearly threw up.

Tell me what to say to him, so he'll know that I've tried.

He got so violent the last time I came to you.

That's when he made me do the film.

I'm afraid of what he'll make me do next.

He's strong, you know, he's powerful.

I don't know what you want from me, Lauren.

I can't help you any more.

I can barely help myself.

Please, Mitchell, don't do this!

Don't keep walking away from me!

Well, I made it.

Came all the way on the No 17 bus by myself. Sound.

So why did you want me to come here?

What's the big surprise? Come on.

Gilbert, where are you taking me?

You'll see.

I've never seen it before.

It's beautiful. Beautiful?

I was 22 years old!

I had my whole life to live.

I was happy and I was in love. Yeah, well you can be happy now. How can I be happy?

I've lost the only man I've ever loved more than anything in this

world, and the children that I wanted, that feeling of...

Are there two Es in "fiancee"? Yeah, there are, yeah.

Annie, you're beyond that now.

Human needs, cravings, all that.

But the beauty of the world, I mean, it's all still here for us.

It's a better place, Annie. A better place?

Isn't that where we should have gone?

No, no, no, see that's what I used to think, right, but then I stood by my grave

and I felt the peace.

You know, and the stillness of it, and I knew this is where I wanted to be.

Forever. Forever?

Well, yeah.

Unless you find some kind of resolution.

To what? Your life,

your death even, you know...

You're still here for a reason, Annie.

Those are mine.

And where have you been, young lady?

I met up with Gilbert.

We went to the cemetery. He knows how to show a girl a good time.

No, it was really nice, actually.

Because it made me realise something, about why I'm still here.

There's clearly some unfinished business, something that I didn't do in my life, something unresolved.

And when I figure it out, I can move on.

Oh, don't ask. The tap.

I've contacted our landlord.

Again. So what needs to be resolved?

Well, if I knew that, it wouldn't need resolving, would it? Keep up.

So what are you going to do?

Aha.

You don't know, do you? No, but I'm pretty sure that it'll involve some highlighter pens and a pad of paper.

What's that face?

It's just my face. I think that's a good thing, don't you?

God only knows what she could uncover. Why do you think I've never said any of this to her?

Now you're doing a face. I think you've grown attached to her and it's clouding your judgement.

She needs an answer, Mitchell,

one way or another.

Hiya. Hi. I brought that Marc and the Mambas tape over for you.

Oh, great.

It's nice to see you again, Gilbert.

Is it?

Mm, isn't he?

So what are you two crazy kids going to do today?

Um, you know, just hang out, have fun.

This is fun?

Fun is such a bourgeois concept.

Oh... Right.

Ha... Twat.

We'll see you later. Hello.

Hello.

Gay da! Hiya.

Hello, hello. Do you see what you've done?

You've turned us into a "Hello, how are you?" programme, with the whole sodding neighbourhood.

We're valued members of the local community. Yes, till we inadvertently kill one of them.

Jesus, lighten up, will you?

# Over there is the picture we took when I made her my bride... #

It's sort of a mix of Euro Goth and French Chanson.

Marc Almond described it as "attempted suicide put on vinyl".

Gosh. Crikey.

I know.

Gilbert, I wanted to talk to you.

That thing that you said yesterday about me needing to finding a resolution,

it got me thinking.

That's what I need to do.

Finish my unfinished business, so that I can move on. Oh, I see.

So what I thought was...

well, what I wanted to ask you was,