Archer

Torvald utne.

The olympic shot-putter?

The chairman of the

U.N. Intelligence committee.

Do you not even skim the

Briefings in your inbox?

I have an inbox?

Utne decides which

Spy agency gets the insanely

Lucrative u.N. Contract.

And as you may or...

...Probably don't know, for six

Years running, the contract has gone to odin.

The organization of douche bags

In -- in...

Wait, I had something for this.

Douche-baggery notwithstanding...

Nowheresville. ...Their ground floor

Isn't a laundromat.

Wash-and-fold, technically. Isis needs that u.N. Contract.

So I am going to woo mr. Torvald utne...

Gross.

...With a dinner party tonight.

And you're uninviting

Me in advance?

Normally, yes.

But this party is different and

Very important, so absolutely

Nothing can go wrong.

Well, then we better keep dr. Bellows away from jeannie.

No! No dates!

From "I dream of jeannie."

No one is bringing a date, so don't you bring a date.

Okay, but I don't want to get there and be the

Only one without a date.

And I don't want another one of your sullen

Whores using my medicine cabinet

Like a...

A pez dispenser!

Peggy, you will probably kill me for this.

But, senator, we now have a

Subway museum.

If -- are you still big into trains?

That wasn't her fault!

Who puts oxycontin in a xanax bottle?

People with servants, idiot!

But if they're stealing pills, how does it help

To switch the labels?

Because they can't read english!

okay.

×Ö I'm gonna leave you to think about

Ä» that whole line of reasoning...

You think about it! ...And whatever

Scheme you're hatching for this dinner party.

There's no... Scheme-hatchery.

hello? Ja, guten tag.

Ist das -- do you mind?

It's the caterer. right.

Okay. Sure.

Your instructions are clear?

ja, ja. No problem.

Oh, I have other call.

Ja, okay!

Hello? hello.

oh, da, da.

so, your instructions are clear?

da. excellent.

uta, get dressed. We work tonight.

but, mani, what about

The fantasticks?

tomorrow, liebchen, I promise.

But -- oh.

You bought this ridiculous thing.

is it so ridiculous to ready

My body for the baby?!

uta, please do not start this.

Just ready your body for work, hmm?

fine. What is the job? two jobs.

The first, we make a big phony

Attempt to kill torvald utne.

okay.

And the second?

we kill torvald utne.

So, your instructions are clear?

drinks und fish balls.

You ring first bell for dinner.

Und on second bell, I come out

All john wooey, screaming crazy

Und shooting blanks.

Then I throw myself

In front of utne, shielding him

With my supple body as you're

Gunned down by isis agents.

who are also shooting blanks.

und loud ones.

Because for utne to buy it,

Everyone must act surprised.

Oh, I'm sure they will.

ja, me too.

mani, I have a bad feeling

For this. why?

Only I will have real bullets.

This is taking chocolate from a

Baby. oh, no.

We won't give our baby chocolate.

he can have carob.

thanks for inviting us to

Your swanky dinner party, ms. Archer.

Yeah, I could get used to this. Don't.

You're only here because I may

Need you to take one for the

Team.

Torvald is an incorrigible poon

Hound.

Those are enormous in size.

Oh, well, uh, thank you.

may I please cup one in my hand?

Ooh, see, here's the thing --

We're actually together.

Cyril, go get some

Gravlax.

Torvald, feel free to cup

Anything in the room.

Oh, you were talking about my guns.

it's strange that you'd wear

Them to a party.

You know, normally I

Wouldn't, but malory --

But that's isis for you -- always primed and ready

For action.

This is good to know.

Yeah. How about that?

Which is why you

Should consider isis for the

U.N. Contract.

Our agents are highly trained in

Many disciplines.

Like krav maga, for instance.

oh, my arm! You're breaking my arm!

Lana! Oh, I'm sorry.

Did that hurt? yes, it hurt!

What is wrong with you?!

Nothing but too much enthusiasm for the opportunity

To serve the u.N.

and hands like the truckasaurus.

Hey! Gravlax, anyone?

no! No gravlax!

I need painkillers!

Cyril, in my medicine

Cabinet -- wait, no!

I'll have to get it myself, just...

...Right after I get that.

Hello.

You're late.

What is that smell?

Gravlax and failure!

I think lana just broke

Torvald's hand!

Truckasaurus.

And we won't win that

Contract if -- who on god's

Green earth dressed you?!

Nobody -- that's why I'm late!

Woodhouse just disappeared.

only temporarily, sir.

Why are you here?

actually, sir, I'm with

Carina. Who?

carina!

I changed it again.

I feel that carina better

Captures my sensual womanhood.

Yeah, she so totally

Does.

And you said no dates!

I said no such thing.

Well, your mouth did.

Well, your mouth

Better get over there and make

Torvald happy!

Um, phrasing?

Regale him with

Exciting tales of isis exploits.

Take his mind off lana's huge,

Johnny benchian fingers.

Can we get off my fingers?

Yeah, they are pretty big.

First time I've heard

You complain.

heyo!

Seriously, who wants gravlax?

Sterling, go!

Regale him!

I think he's already

Being regaled.

Meatballs!

Oh, for -- torvald!

Bet you get that a lot,

Huh, torvie?

Pam! Swedish meatballs.