A Woman for All Men

Steve?

Wake up!

- Hey, listen. - Oh, what are you doing, man?

For Christ's sake!

I just heard Pop got married last night.

What?

Married? Who, your father?

Where did you hear this?

He's, he's in Santa Fe, Paul. Will you split?

He just married somebody in Vegas last night at midnight.

Only idiots get married in Vegas,

two idiots.

Steve, I was at the Beverly Wilshire

and this drunk walks up to me,

slaps me on the shoulder and says, "Congratulations."

You know who it is?

S.C. Steigley.

He just flew down from Vegas,

saw the ceremony at the Tropicana.

Married to who?

Karen-somebody. He'd never seen her before.

I can tell you who the new Mrs. McCoy is.

She's some smart working chick

with a great body and a great lay

who won the biggest bet in her life.

Oh, come on, Rodell, married?

She won, baby, she won.

And where does that leave you two?

Okay. Get the phone.

Do you believe this?

You bet I believe it.

Walter McCoy got drunk just once too often.

He could have phoned us.

When did Pop ever think of anybody else?

Oh Rodell, what are you getting dressed for?

It's still early in the morning, you know.

I got news for you, Steven.

It's awful late in the day.

And what is that supposed to mean?

That means that I put in three good hard years with you

and bed is great, but Steven by now

I thought we'd have gotten our act together,

we would have been married, right?

Oh, come on, listen, will you just hang around for a bit...

Hang around?

And wait for Ms. Big Tits to walk in?

Hey, look, Steven,

I think you've got a lot of thinking to do.

Paul, you're thinking the same thing.

You, two brothers, worked your asses off

for your old man's construction company

because one day, Walter is going to give you everything, right?

Fifty-fifty.

Well, where do you stand now?

With some broad, smart enough to marry him.

In one night, your stepmother goes past you

to the head of the line.

Only five more minutes to the house, baby.

- What a sensational house, Walter! - Yeah.

You know, I turned down $450,000 for it?

It must be them.

- In you go, baby. - Okay.

Oh, hey, fellows. I want you to meet a wonderful girl.

Congratulations.

Oh, who told you? You spoiled it.

- I ran into Steigley. - Oh, yeah?

Well, Karen, this is Steve and that's Paul.

Hello, Steve, Paul.

Hey, well, you know, this is, uh,

kind of a surprise.

You should have told us about it. We would have come up.

Well, we kind of did it in spur of the moment,

so it came real quick.

- How long have you two been‒ - Oh, about a year.

Yeah, about that. About a year.

You live in Vegas, Karen?

For the past two years, yes.

Actually, Walter and I met in Albuquerque.

We'll answer those vital statistics later.

You guys go and unload the car.

Yeah, on Sunday, they look like the idle rich,

but tomorrow, they'll be working their asses off,

the same as anybody else for McCoy Construction.

Well, come on, fellows, get the stuff out of the car.

Oh, hey, is your sister around?

She's spending the weekend up at Arrowhead with Jill.

Did you tell her anything?

No. We figured that you'd want to.

Okay. Okay. Go on.

How old is she?

Cynthia is 17.

She's a great gal. You're going to love her.

Hey, look at that, 225 feet of private beach.

You couldn't find a piece of property like that today.

- Mr. McCoy. - Oh, Sarah.

Honey, you remember I told you about Sarah.

Mrs. McCoy, it's wonderful to have you here.

"Mrs. McCoy," that still doesn't seem like it's me.

Sarah, I don't think there's going to be any changes

except now, you'll have somebody who'll appreciate your cooking.

You know, I'm very happy for you, Mr. McCoy.

Well, thank you, Sarah, that's damn nice,

very damn nice.

Well, what'll it be, breakfast, brunch?

Breakfast and French toast.

Wait until you see what she does with French toast.

Whatever you say.

Show me upstairs, will you, please?

Yeah, yeah, sure.

You know what?

What?

They hate my guts.

Well, honey, they don't either

and if they do,

screw them.

I just want to sleep a couple of hours.

We've been up all night.

I have looked better.

Well honey, you look the way I want you to look.

You just stay there by that window.

That's it and don't you pay any attention to me,

just keep going. Hold it. Hold it.

There. That's good, baby. That's fine, baby.

Oh, that looks sensational!

That's right, baby. That's fine. That's what I like.

Yeah.

That's good.

All right.

That's what I want.

Uh-huh. That's it. That's it.

Great.

Hold it.

Ah... End of the roll.

What a freak.

What a couple of freaks.

Now, you're the one who has too many clothes on.

The lady of the house is all moved in.

Yeah. I hope she's a better tipper than the old man.

What the hell do you mean he doesn't answer?

Try it again. A lawyer has got to have a phone service?

It's almost 9 o'clock.

Hey, that reminds me, you better be out of here in three minutes.

Where is Sleeping Beauty?

Steve is working with the gravel crew this month.

They're reporting at 10:45, remember?

- Where the hell are you now? - Thank you.

Cement, $4.25 an hour.

What the hell is wrong with $170 a week?

The withholding and the deductions are what's wrong with it.

I cash 106 bucks, Pop.

My boys have it so tough.

They have to live in a half a million-dollar beach house,

all the prime ribs and steaks and booze they can lap up,

they both drive $10,000 cars, oh,

the underprivileged boys, my heart bleeds for you.

Then, how about those freeloading broads of yours,

they like it pretty good here, don't they?

Why shouldn't they? I pay all the bills.

What's your beef?

Oh, come on, Pop, you know what I mean.

Yeah. I know what you mean.

You mean, you both should be Vice Presidents, working downtown,

because your old man owns the company.

Well, let me tell you something,

if you don't like where I put you, you just let me know

and then, you can get the hell out of here.

Is that clear?

You got it?!

Is that clear?!

Married?

No, Daddy wouldn't.

Really, Cynthia. I tell you, they're married.

Steve and I didn't know a damn thing either.

Well, what's she like?

Oh, you're going to love her.

How gross.

I'm on my third stepmother.

They're all lousy.

We'll call it a honeymoon, huh?

Well, call a travel agent, find out about Hawaii,

any place you want, it doesn't matter, baby.

Cynthia, honey! How are you, baby?

Well.

Hey! Hey, guess what?

Paul told me, Daddy.

How do you like that? I can't surprise any of my kids.

Cyn, baby, I want you to meet my Karen.

Hello, Cynthia.

I've heard so much about you.

Congratulations.

Oh, you girls are going to get along just great.

Now, I want you to spend the afternoon

kinda getting acquainted, okay?

Okay.

Just a minute, Daddy. I'll walk with you.

What are you talking about?

Oh, Daddy!

Come on, you're a big grown up girl now.

- Come on. - But it's important.

- I got to go, baby. - I got to talk to you.