black-ish

This fall, Pops surprised us all

when he said that he was getting married to Lynette.

And as gross as it was to see an old man in love,

we were happy for him.

But then came Christmas...

I love you.

But I need him.

I knew that one hurt, and I felt for Pops,

but I know that he gets through things in his own way.

See, Pops has always had his own version of self-care.

Can't believe I lost my job.

Drinks on me!

I just lost 10 grand on the Buffalo Bills.

What time you get off?

- Ohh! -

Doctors say something wrong with my heart.

I say road trip!

- Road trip. - Road trip!

As long as I can remember,

Pops has gotten through the dark spells

with a little time, a lot of booze,

and help from his best friends, Loose Craig and Billy Blade.

Why do you want to know how I got the name Loose Craig?

You from the government?

I was born Billy Smith,

but they called me Billy Blade.

What does the "Blade" stand for?

Beer, Liquor, And Drugs Everyday.

Pops' buddies were helping him through the pain,

and we were happy to let them.

Well, most of us.

Oh, no.

Okay.

Sir?

Please say he's not dead.

Oh, hello, pretty lady.

I'll have, uh, two eggs and bacon

and some black coffee.

You need to flip those cushions and set them on fire.

That thing smells like unpaid child support,

and you know it!

- Morning, Mama.

- - Hey, baby.

Hey, Dre. - Yeah?

When do you think your father's gonna stop

acting like an Arizona State freshman?

We have been very generous with him,

and this morning,

I found his friend Loose Craig sleeping on our couch.

There's gotta be somewhere else for that man to sleep.

- Okay, well, Pops was sleeping in his bed. - Mm-hmm.

All right? Billy Blade was sleeping on Pops' couch.

You can't ask an old Black man to double up.

Okay...

It's not just about the couch, Dre.

Uh...

Eight the hard way.

Play it!

- Ronnie wants to know

where the best place around here to throw up is.

- - Is it cool if I ash my cigar in this cactus?

Damn, Rainbow! Now my money's all wet!

My Pops is just getting over a breakup, okay?

This is how men deal with things.

No, it's not. No...

Look, I love your father,

and I also love grown men who sleep at hotels,

not on my couch.

He's got to find a more constructive way to deal with his pain.

Bow, that's exactly what he's doing.

- - I promise you, all right,

we are doing the right thing for Pops.

- - Look at that. Uh-huh.

Walk of shame. He's doing great.

- Good morning, everybody. Hey.

Okay, Ishma, feel free to take something for the road, baby.

I would get you an Uber, but I don't know how that works.

- Okay. -

- Morning. - Talk to your father.

Okay, I will talk to him.

Watch her. She's raiding the good liquor.

- Hey, Pops? - Bye.

How you doing?

How's it look like I'm doing, son?

- -

You see that? Everything's all right.

All right, so please,

don't try to understand this, okay, babe?

Just let Pops have his fun.

And if that means an old dude is sleeping on that couch

a few more weeks, so be it.

Junior, have you seen my purse?

My God, this is the worst day ever.

Pops had some sort of frat party last night,

and now everything's missing or it's sticky.

Oh. Hate to hear that.

Roll of pennies for your thoughts?

No, Junior, I got to take Jack and Diane to school.

And there's this dad, Jeremy, he makes drop-offs a nightmare.

Every start of the week, he's like,

"I got a case of the Mondays.

You got 20 ccs of Friday?"

That doesn't sound so bad.

Junior, has anyone ever made your skin crawl?

Have you ever wished that someone didn't exist,

in... in a non-violent way?

- I have. - Yeah.

But I don't want to say who.

Seriously, if you lock eyes with that guy,

he is like the Terminator.

I got a late start to work.

Why don't I drop the twins off at school?

Thank you, Junior.

I am gonna go and look for my bag.

You do that.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

You be sure to wash your hands, sweetheart.

Pennies are like little toilets.

- You remember that. - Okay.

- That's a tip from Mom. - I will.

I was wondering what was on this one.

That is exactly why I keep none of my real estate

but all of my guns registered in Connor's name.

Mm.

It should be so much easier

to steal the rest of this company from you.

- - Oh.

Oh, Dre, what's going on, huh?

- - Let me guess...

you were not fast enough to buy a sneaker

with a 600% markup?

It's 800%.

- Ooh. - All right?

And Bow is mad at how my father is handling his breakup.

How is he handling it?

If it's anything like I do,

he's having a good old-fashioned cry.

You know, just letting it all out in a bathroom

or in a Kia Sorento parked near a beach.

Okay, my father is not going to cry.

Black men do not get emotional in public.

Michael Jordan cried once, and it's a meme!

- Oh, yeah. It's true.

When my mom passed,

my dad was so afraid of someone seeing him cry

that he had his tear ducts removed.

When he gets real cold, he bleeds from his eyes now.

Mm.

Still, better than crying.

Word.

Denzel Washington is one of the best actors that we ever had,

and in "Glory," he was only able to drum up one tear.

Now, if my calculations serve me correctly,

he should be able to do a second tear in 2033.

'33?

So if you can't cry,

how do Black men deal with their problems?

Ah. If I may...

- Nope. - No.

Black men deal with their problems one of two ways...

fight or flight.

Mascot in your face? Fight.

Guy does magic in the hood

around you and a bunch of Black guys

and you don't understand what he's doing,

probably think he's in a cult or something. Flight.

You know, Pops is cool, right?

He just needs to party to get it out of his system,

and then he'll be back to normal.

So, what you're saying is that partying

is the Black man equivalent of crying?

Well, it's also how they express

fear, relief, hopelessness, and hunger.

But in this instance, yes, it's crying.

And how many nights a week is your dad partying?

Not a lot.

- Seven. - Oh, Dre.

It sounds like your dad is crying a lot.

You know, Loose Craig has got a real gambling problem.

He tried to get me to throw my soccer game.

I like him.

He gave me a package to hold

and bought my fingerprints for only 20 bucks.

- Okay, let's go, guys. - Where do you think you're going?

Oh, uh, Mom used to walk me to the door, so...

Uh, we ain't you, dawg.

Hey! Where's Bow?

I need my Monday prescription.

Oh.

Uh, she got called in to work early.

- Oh. - Junior.

Jeremy.

You know, I really enjoy talking with her.

One of the things I look forward to on the weekdays.

Not sure if she told you, but I work alone.

Oh. No, she didn't.

I'm divorced,

and my little Alfie's at school all day,

and, uh, most of my family's in South Carolina.

Man, that's got to be tough.