Mr Inbetween

What the fuck?

Fucking hell.

Oh, fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

What's goin' on?

Ray, where are ya?

I'm just having dinner.

Ray, I'm stuck on a balcony and I can't get down.

I need you to help me.

What are you doing on a balcony?

It's a long story.

Can...can you come and help me or not?

Yeah, alright. Where are you?

OK, great, great. I'll text you the address, alright?

OK.

OK. Alright, hurry up, mate.

I need you to hurry, mate. I'm in a bit of a pickle.

Yeah, I'll hurry. Yeah.

OK. Alright. See you, mate.

See you, mate. 'Bye. 'Bye. 'Bye.

'Bye.

What's up?

Shh!

I can't get down.

Why not?

'Cause I'm scared of heights.

What'd you climb up there for?

I'll explain later.

‐What you want me to do? ‐Come in.

‐What? ‐Come in.

Have you got any rope?

Whose house is this?

Shhh!

I'll tell you later. Have you got any rope?

Just climb down. There's a ledge there.

‐So you've got no rope? ‐No.

Fuck.

Come on, mate. Come on. Let's go.

So, what am I gonna do?

Climb over. There's a ledge right there.

‐(SIGHS) ‐Come on.

Come on, mate.

Oh, fuck.

Just don't look down. Keep your eyes closed.

Yeah.

Now shimmy around to your left. Yeah.

Keep going. Scoot around.

Keep going, keep going.

‐RAY: Yep. OK. Yep. ‐Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Now take your right foot.

Half a metre, there's a ledge. Put your foot down. Half...

Right foot down. There's a ledge.

OK. OK. OK, OK, OK.

That's it.

That's it. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

Keep going. Keep going. Feel it?

‐Fuck, fuck, fuck. There you go. There you go.

OK.

‐Now take your left foot, right? ‐(DOG BARKS)

‐Oh, fuck off, you creep! ‐No, no! Oh!

Oh, oh, fuck! Oh!

‐(BOTH GROAN) ‐GARY: Oh, shit. Fuck.

Gary?

What are you doing here?

Bloody perverts!

I'm calling the cops!

Not cool, Tat.

Not cool!

‐TATIANA: Sorry. So crazy. ‐WOMAN: Fucking creep.

I think I fucked me shoulder.

What was that all about?

Tat's got herself a fucking girlfriend.

‐Well, I can see that. ‐Yeah.

Sorry, mate. I just needed to know what was going on.

It's over.

The marriage is over.

How long did it take for you to get over Ally?

Who says I have?

Oh, great.

You'll be right, mate.

So, where are you staying?

‐Darby's. ‐Oh, Jesus Christ.

Yeah.

Why don't you stay at my joint?

‐Nah, it's alright, mate. ‐In the shed.

Nah, it's alright.

I spent 20 grand, mate, doing it up.

Yeah?

Mate, it looks like the fucking Taj Mahal.

Huh!

Go to Darby's, grab your stuff.

Come over.

‐Yeah? ‐Yeah! Bloody oath, mate!

See you soon.

Yeah, OK.

‐Thanks, mate. ‐No worries.

‐(SIGHS) ‐(CAR DOOR OPENS)

(CAR DOOR CLOSES, ENGINE STARTS)

‐MAN: Welcome aboard. ‐RAY: Thank you.

Here he is!

Rafael, Ray.

‐How you going, mate? ‐I'm good, mate.

‐How are you? ‐Yeah, good.

‐How you doing? ‐Good to see you, yeah.

‐Pull up a pew. ‐Thanks, mate. Cheers.

‐(GROANS) ‐This is for you.

‐Oh! ‐Bit extra in there for you.

Oh, lovely, mate, thank you. Oh!

You want a drink?

Uh, scotch on the rocks, thanks, love.

‐MAID: Sure. ‐RAY: Thanks, love.

So...

..how'd it go down?

What's that?

Tran.

Oh, Tran. Uh, I just napalmed him.

Yeah.

‐What? ‐Prison napalm.

Oh, OK.

Uh, so you get a cup.

You throw some jam in it.

Boiling water. Mix it up.

Boom.

So it sticks to the skin!

‐It sticks. ‐RAY: Mmm. Mmm.

Melts all the skin off.

Oh! (LAUGHS)

Ohh!

‐Oh, that's beautiful. ‐Mmm.

‐Wow! ‐Effective, yeah.

Here. Try this.

‐What's that, mate? ‐Caviar.

Yeah, I think I'll...

‐I think I'll pass on that. ‐You don't like caviar?

Uh, never...never tried it, to be honest.

You know, there's a reason it's so expensive, bro.

Why's that?

Because it tastes fuckin' delicious!

‐RAY: I wouldn't know, mate. ‐Really?

‐There you go. ‐Thanks, love.

Mmm.

Mmm!

‐You kidding? ‐Good?

Mmm! So...

‐I've only got a small crew. ‐Yeah.

‐But I'm looking to upsize. ‐Mmm.

Would you be interested in coming on board?

Yeah, I'm not really a join‐a‐crew kinda guy.

‐You know what I mean? ‐(LAUGHS)

But, uh...you know, I appreciate the offer.

‐Yeah. ‐You know, no offence.

But yeah, I'm more of a...

I prefer to freelance.

Fair enough.

Yeah, fair enough.

I might have some delivery work for you, though, if you're keen?

Mate, whatever you've got, throw it at me.

Anything you won't do?

Mate, if the money's right, I'll fucking do anything.

‐He'll do anything! Ooh! ‐Yeah.

‐Whaaah! (LAUGHS) ‐Yeah.

Oh, mate, that's great. He's great.

Excuse me.

Here, yeah, Freddy.

Try that. Yep?

Yep.

Yep.

Go on.

Yep. OK. Done.

‐How'd you go with that? ‐Yeah, loved it.

Really? You liked it?

‐Yeah, it's delicious. ‐Yeah?

He didn't like it.

‐He hates it. ‐(LAUGHS) He fucking hates it!

‐(BOTH LAUGH) ‐I don't hate it.

‐I don't hate it. I like it. ‐You fucking hate it!

‐No. ‐Just admit it.

‐You can say you hate it, mate. ‐(LAUGHS)

Cheers, Ray.

Cheers, mate. Beauty.

Good to see you, mate.

Why don't you buy some weed killer?

Mmm, I like to pull them.

How's Her Highness?

She's good.

‐Mmm? ‐She's got a boyfriend.

A what?

You don't know what a boyfriend is?

She's 12.

Yeah, I know how old she is. They don't kiss or anything.

So, what's the point?

Anyway, she doesn't want you to know, so don't say anything.

Uh‐huh. Speak of the devil.

So I booked a lane at 2.

Bowling?

‐Yeah. ‐I don't wanna go bowling.

‐Why not? ‐I'm 12.

So, what do you wanna do then?