Night of the Demons

Rockin'.

Trick or treat!

You're just disgusting.

And turn that noise down!

Don't you dare, bitch, get off that!

- Hey, Stooge. - What?

Check out the old fart.

All right, dude!

Stooge is hellin' him. Make yourself useful, okay?

Take the wheel. Ahh!

Hey, Grandpa, look in the mirror!

You stupid bastards!

Damn you all to hell!

Happy Halloween, asshole.

Damn kids.

There's no fool like an old fool.

You son of a bitch!

Hey, hey, cool it, pops.

You want to blow your pacemaker or somethin'?

Gee, mister, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.

Get your hands off of me!

- Hey, calm down. - Get away from me!

I-- I was just trying to help.

I don't need your help, you damn little whore!

Well fine, I wouldn't want to help an old creep like you anyway.

Damn rotten kids.

They'll get what they deserve.

Yes, they'll get what they deserve tonight.

- Judy. - Sony. Mom, I'm In a hurry.

Has Jay Jansen called?

Jay, no.

Oh, but that boy Sal, he stopped by to see if your were home.

- Sal? - Uh-huh.

I'll get it.

Hello, Jay?

Hey, Judy, you almost ready to go?

Um, not quite.

I got stuck after school helping Mrs. Evans out

with that drive for the homeless.

I told you that was a scam.

Well, someone has to do it.

Well, listen, there's been a slight change of plan for tonight.

Wh-- what do you mean?

I've got a better party to go to.

Does this mean I should find another date for the dance?

Of course not.

Hey, I thought you'd be happy to go to a real party.

That school dance is for nerds.

Oh, okay, sure, why not?

Who's giving it?

I don't know if you know her, her name's Angela.

Angela?

No, the only Angela I know is that weird girl in history class.

Well, as a matter of fact--

Jay, you've gotta be kidding.

Angela is such a weirdo.

Frannie says she's into witchcraft and all sorts of creepy stuff.

Come on, you don't believe all that, do you?

It's a bunch of crap.

Just a lonely old misfit trying to get some attention

by acting weird, that's all.

So, why in the world would you want to go to her party then?

Because it's Halloween.

Who do you know that'll give a better party?

It's like Christmas to her.

Do we have to?

Come on, Max and Frannie are going.

It'll be fun.

Oh, all right, I guess so.

I can't wait to meet her family.

She probably lives in a belfry.

Well, it's-- it's not at her house.

It's at Hull House.

Hull House? Jay.

Pick you up in 20.

Wow, bodacious boobies, sis.

You keep growin' you'll have to hire someone just to tie your shoes.

Ooh, out!

I'll get it!

Uh!

Boo!

I wish I had a camera.

You looked like you dropped a load, Junior.

Hey-hey, cool it, squirt.

Who do you think you are, Rocky Balboa?

Let me go, creep!

Sure.

Now go tell that pretty little piece you call your sister

that handsome hunk Sal is here.

And tell her I brung my pet snake for her to play with.

Judy's gettin' ready for a date, butt hole.

If I were you, I'd get outta here before he shows up

and turns your ugly face into a punching bag.

Don't give me that shit, punk.

Go get your sister before I lose my cool.

What's the matter, you didn't hear what I said, bozo?

Let me go or I'll yell for my mom.

Aww, go on, baby.

What's the matter, you can't take a joke?

Now, go get your sister.

Judy's gettin' dressed. She's goin' to a party.

Party, what party?

Wouldn't you like to know.

Oh, you little asshole.

Oh, Mother!

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Come on spill the beans, ace.

Here, here's a nice chunk of change to loosen your lips a little.

Are you kidding, betray my beloved sister for a measly quarter?

What do you think this is,

some kind of depression or something?

Oh, that does it.

Billy, did you call me?

Hey, hey, hey, this is my final offer, kid.

Now take it and sing.

Where's the friggin' party?

Sure, you'll be too chicken to crash it anyway.

Hey, try me.

- It's at Hull House. - Hull House?

Huh! What are trying to pull, Shorty?

Your sister wouldn't be caught dead in a dump like that.

What do you think I am, some kind of idiot or what?

What I think is besides the point.

Hull House tonight.

Better be straight, Billy boy.

Or I swear I'm gonna come back here and kick your little ass.

Hey, my mask.

Yeah, thanks a lot.

Fag.

Do you guys have sour balls?

Why, sure we do.

Too bad, I bet you don't get many blowjobs.

You think you got enough stuff?

Come on, we don't want to be late to our own party.

Come on, your face looks fine.

I've never seen anybody spend more time in a mirror.

Relax, I just want to look good for the boys.

You did remember to invite some cute boys to the party I hope.

Of course I did.

And we're gonna scare the shit out of 'em.

Cutie, Prince Charming 's here.

Well, you must be Judy's little brother, huh?

Huh, that's pretty lucky.

She's, uh, she's a real nice girl.

Yeah, are you dating her for her personality

or because she has big cha chas?

Well, hello there.

- You must be Jay. - Yeah.

Would you like a fudge log?

Oh, gee--

Hey, I'd love to, but I'm trying to watch my weight.

Oh, your weight-- you must be kidding.

You're skinny as a rail.

Oh, come on, Jay, don't be shy.

Have one-- I just took 'em out of the oven.

No thanks, Mrs. Cassidy, really.

- You're sure. - Yeah.

Of course, he's sure, Ma.

Why would he want one?

They look like sun-dried poodle turds.

Billy.

Why me?

Hey, you look great.

You're the best bride of Frankenstein I ever saw.

Jay, I thought you were gonna wear a costume.

Well, I was, but I--

He is, he's the boogeyman.

Can't you tell? He's the pick of the litter.

Billy, please.

Happy Halloween, sweetheart.

Um, we better hurry.

Uh, yeah, Max and Frannie are waiting.

Good night, girls, have a nice time.

Enjoy the dance.

God, I'm so embarrassed.

My mom and her cereal box recipes.

Hey, forget it.

Come here.

Jay, slow down, okay?

Yeah, right, sure, we've got all night.

Come on.

Whoever drew up this map

must have been half blind and half retarded.

Sounds like Angela.

Dizzy fuckin' bitch, man.

Stooge, did you become an asshole of your own free will

or were you born that way?

Did you hear somthin' funny?

I don't know why I'm hangin' out with you two wipes.

- Give me that damn map! - Hey!

Great, Stooge, now look what you've done.

- Typical. - Typical!

Shut up and drive, bitch!

Look here-- turn here!

Well, if the party's a real drag,

we can always come back to my house.

Here they come.

Well, thank God you two have the Halloween spirit.

At least I won't be the only one wearing a costume.

Oh, you didn't really expect to see Jay in a costume.