black-ish

As a dad, I know my kids inside and out.

If being up on what they were into was a game show,

I'd win every time.

It's time to play "You Do Know Jack,"

with your host, Joel McHale!

Welcome back.

Let's get right into it with our returning champ.

Jack's dad, Andre Johnson.

First question.

For $100, who does Jack think is in every limousine?

Michael B. Jordan.

Correct! Next question.

For $200, what is Jack allergic to?

Yellow jackets.

Correct!

Bonus question.

What does he say he's allergic to?

Haters!

Exactly. You are on a roll.

Okay, now, for $10 billion

and a washer/dryer...

...what after-school club did Jack join today?

You've got 10 seconds on the clock.

Dance.

Skate dance?

Cheerleading by accident?

Oh! I am sorry, Jack.

Tell your idiot dad what he should have known.

I joined robotics club.

I said I joined robotics club.

- Ah. - On purpose?

Well, I'm sorry, big fella.

Let's say goodbye to our big loser, Andre Johnson.

Okay, stay tuned for our next show,

"Why Are Junior's Showers So Long?"

So, what made you choose robotics?

Oh, a-and a follow-up to that question,

what is robotics?

It's a club where we build robots,

program them to perform tasks,

and compete against other schools.

- Yeah. - Ah. Sounds great.

- But why would you want to do that? - Wait, wait, wait.

This isn't so you can build your own cop, is it?

Dre, I told you he was too young to see that movie.

No, Mom. Mason's a member, and he said I should check it out.

- Oh, that's nice. - Mm.

I've been setting a lot of trends this year.

During attendance, I started saying "Ya heard"

when the teachers call my name.

Turns out the club is pretty cool.

- We need to do some research. - Huh.

Let's go upstairs and watch "WALL-E," Mason.

Ya heard.

Oh. Yep. G-Got it.

- Yeah. You know what? - It's... That's good, Mason.

You know,

I would've never guessed robotics,

- but he seems happy. - Yeah.

I was worried when he got cut from the basketball team

because he was so sad and lost.

I know. He was a bummer, Dre.

Mama gets enough of that at work.

Can't come home to it.

Not enough wine in this house. Nope.

Thank God we encouraged him to find his thing.

Wha... Mm. Okay.

Andre, you brought our child to one step show.

I am the parent who steered him towards math and science.

You took him beekeeping.

That's a science.

- Is it? - Yeah.

Bees do all the work.

We snatch their honey with no compensation.

Huh. Sounds a lot

- like something else we know. - Okay.

Stop making everything about slavery.

I wish I could, Bow.

I wish I could.

Ugh!

You know what I hate?

Silent alarms. Loiter laws.

Fire extinguishers.

Men with ponytails. Girls named after months.

Rachael Ray.

Yes, but I also hate that I have to do this assignment.

- What assignment? - It's a five-page paper

on the life of an inspiring woman.

- Double-spaced? - Single.

- Oof! - Stakes are high.

Well, all you got to do is make sure

that the person that you ask has lived a lot of life.

A lot of life.

Got it.

Hey, Grandma.

- Yes? - I need a favor.

Can you hook me up with a woman

who's led an interesting life?

What?

Uh, yes, me!

I'm the most interesting person in this house.

I don't know, you just worked at the post office.

Just worked at the post office?

Little girl, I integrated the post office.

You think Compton had a Black mail woman before me?

When I started, the place looked like a Vermont jail!

Hmm. Interesting.

- Civil rights pioneer. - Mm-hmm.

That'll fill two pages.

All right, Grandma, let's do this.

Um, okay, uh, did you ever defuse a mail bomb

or deliver a giant sweepstakes check?

Oh, sweetie, bigger than that.

Now, the story begins with me...

Hold on. I'm gonna put on a pot of tea.

Yeah. And get a pair of earmuffs for the baby.

This is gonna be a spicy story.

Hey, Sha. Hey, look here, man.

I'm not gonna be able to make the Clipper game Saturday night.

Got to take my son to his robotics competition.

No, man, I don't know if the robots have boobs.

Hey, I got to go. I'll talk to you later.

You know, it is so great

that you're getting behind Jack

and supporting his interest in robotics.

It's what I do.

No, actually, it's... it's not what you do at all

which is why it is so impressive.

You know, I'm serious, Dad.

There are so many parents these days

who are too scared to put their kids in situations

where they're gonna be really challenged.

Jack has got that fire back in his eyes.

- Ah. - He has that same look he had

when he beat those grown-ups in that hot-dog-eating contest.

Yeah.

Well, you know Valley Glen Prep's robotics team

has always been pretty intense.

- Mm-hmm. - Remember my friend Samir?

Of course I do. He was your only brown friend.

Yeah, he was on the robotics team, and the stress got to him.

- Really? - Yep.

He had a breakdown, converted to Mormonism,

and ended up going to college in Utah.

Almost got kicked out for drinking an iced tea.

Wow.

- All because of robots? - Yep.

But, you know, that's what makes what you're doing so amazing.

You're just throwing caution to the wind

and chucking Jack into the deep end with no life jacket.

Uh-huh. That's what I'm doing.

But both of us know he is gonna do great things.

Uh, yeah, yeah!

Yeah, bo... both of us know that.

You know, I am so proud of you.

You probably don't hear this enough, but you're a great dad.

Junior's pep talk spun me out.

I had to make sure Jack wasn't going to take another loss.

- Okay, hey, babe? - Yeah.

Uh, maybe we need to pull Jack out of this.

- What? - This doesn't look too safe.

I mean, look, that... that kid over there

is using electrical tools.

- Mm-hmm. - Jack could lose a finger.

A-And what do you do with this thing, huh?

B... Ow!

- Dre. - What?

You make coffee. It's a coffee maker.

What happened to being all-in for robotics?

This is the reason I discourage you

from coming to school functions.

Okay, look, look, it's just that Jack

finally got that fire back in his eyes,

and if he fails at this, that fire might go out forever.

Well, if he's gonna get into robotics, baby,

there's some things I need to know.

Like, how much is this gonna cost us?

Because this stuff, it looks expensive.

I mean, there's supplies for the robots,

pictures with the robots, robot food.

I just don't want to get scammed.

- Okay. - Oh, speaking of scams.

- No, no. No, I... - Hey, hey, Biggs.

Uh, what kind of money grab

y'all got going on with this here?

This is all included in tuition, Mr. Johnson.

I'm so sorry. He hasn't eaten lunch today.

Oh. Wow.

What are you doing, Dre?

No, Bow, what are you doing?

I don't think Jack is ready for this, babe.

Hey, guys. Check out my robot.

Oh, wow. Your robot?

- Take a look. - Enter command.

- You built this? - Yeah, I built this from scratch,

and then I coded a few simple commands.

Watch.

Simple commands?

Son, you gave this thing life.

You are a life giver.