Victorious

Good morning, little mutants.

All right. Now, it's time for... Bad news.

They found out coconut juice makes your hair fall out?

No.

We're going to do an acting exercise about giving bad news.

- Why? - Why.

To teach you that acting often involves making choices about how to say things.

For example... How do you give someone bad news.

And make it seem not so bad?

By telling them in a language they don't understand!

No Cat.

Just come up on stage here. Robbie, you too, up up.

And now, your partner in this little acting exercise...

Tanner... come in!

Everybody, this is Tanner, a young boy who lives next door to me.

- Hi Tanner. - Hey Tanner.

- 'Sup Tanner? - Have a seat.

All right, Cat and Robbie...

Here's a card with some random bad news for you to give to Tanner.

- Got it. - Oh, okay.

Good!

Now improvise a scene where you have to give Tanner that bad news.

In a way that doesn't upset him.

- Uhhh... - Uhhh...

Ooh. That's good!

One sec...

A? - Mm-hmm.

- and it got crushed! - It's unfixable!

Yes.

Now that's how you give bad news.

See, the boy's smiling.

Yeah, that was really cool.

You guys just made that song up, right now?

- Yeah. - Yepper-do.

And now Tanner... This is for you.

My... my go-cart.

Sorry.

At night, your parents' driveway looks a lot like mine.

Now off ya go.

There ya go... scooch along... There's the door...

Drive safely...

Wait...

You really ran over the boy's go-cart?

Three times. I thought it was a raccoon.

Take your seats.

Alright.

Now let's talk about the new play I'm directing.

Do I get to star in it?

Uh, I think it's my turn to star in one of Sikowitz's plays.

Why are you talking?

There, y'see? Every time I cast a new play,

you all get your panties in a pretzel.

So this time... ... You people will choose your own roles.

Andre, pick a role.

- "Tommy: Ten-year-old "identical twin brother of Carter."

Beck, pick a role.

- "Carter: Ten-year-old "identical twin brother of Tommy".

I guess we're twins.

Then momma's got some explainin' to do.

Jade, pick a role.

Uh... "Nancy... loving wife of astronaut waiter swain."

Tori...

"Astronaut waiter swain... Husband of Nancy."

I'm supposed to play her wife?

I'll just pick another card.

No! My box has spoken.

Uh, Sikowitz...

I think I just heard something move in there with the go-kart parts.

I knew it!

Hey... Hey, you guys...

Can you do me a big favor?

- What's goin' on? - What is it?

Okay see, I borrowed Beck's car...

'Cuz I needed to take my grandma to the doctor...

- Yeah? - But she got scared and wouldn't go,

so the doctor told me to bring him a cup of her uh...

Y'know... liquid.

Whaaaa...?

I uhhh... I think he means her urine.

Yeah. And when I took a sharp left,

the cup of uh... grandma... Spilled all over the front seat.

Alright, I've got rubber gloves and sponges in my locker.

- I guess I'll just... - No no...

I just want you to tell Beck what happened.

Why us?

'Cuz it's bad news, and in class today,

you guys made bad news sound not so bad.

- Oh okay. - Yeah, we'll tell Beck for ya.

Cool. Cool, he's over there.

- I'll fetch my guitar. - Ha ha... fetch.

I don't wanna be your wife in the play.

Well I don't wanna be your husband in the play.

Ohhhh.

Ohhhh.

- Hiiiii. - Hey guys.

We have a song.

For you.

well, I'm not thrilled about the urine in my car...

But I liked your song, so I'm okay with it.

- That was really fun. - Yeah.

Maybe we should make out some time.

Robbie... you're so gross.

- What's wrong, mom? - Ya seem awful upset.

Don't you understand?!

Your father is an astronaut!

It's his dream to walk on the moon,

but now that might never happen because of his narcolepsy!

What's narcolepsy?

It's when you're always falling asleep, even when you're not tired.

Car door sound-effect!

Ooo, I just heard your father's car.

Now, boys, no matter how narcoleptic he is,

you pretend you don't notice.

Don't touch mommy.

Nancy... boys... I'm home.

- Hi, honey. - Hey, dad.

- Hi, there dad. - Oh, hello, cart...

Oh. It's all right, boys. It's all right.

- Honey... honey... - I'm up, I'm up.

So, Tommy... How was school today?

- I'm Carter. - I'm Tommy.

Ah, what kind of father am I?

I'm so darn narcoleptic I can't even tell my own twin sons apart!

It's not your fault! They're identical!

Look at them.

Oh, Nancy. You're so...

- Sweetheart... darling... - Blast off!

No, no. You were saying I'm so...?

Right. You're so good... gentle.

How can you love a sleepy loser like me?

You're no sleepy loser. You're an astronaut.

- I love you. - I love you.

Ah, no ya don't.

Light a candle, Burf... This play stinks.

- I don't have a candle. - Then get a better haircut.

Shake it off, Burf... He's just in a mood.

You girls are ruining this play.

Why?

Andre, Beck... take five.

This is our fifth rehearsal,

and you two aren't getting any better.

At playing a believable husband and wife.

Burf, be quiet!

You girls, meet me for dinner at Nozu... tonight... seven P.M.

- But, I don't wanna go... - Nozu.

- But why, you can't... - Blaaaoooooo...

- At least let us... - See you both at Nozu at seven pm!

wow. I'm bummed that people think I smell...

But good song.

Just try taking more showers.

I'll do it.

- Iced green tea. - Thanks.

Hey... what makes green tea green?

Ahhh. Ancient Japanese secret.

Oh, c'mon, you can tell me.

I just did. That's the brand of green tea we use.

- Bwaaahhh!!!!! - Ahhhhhhh!!!