Gintama. Porori hen

Let me introduce you, 'kay?

This is my boyfriend, Dai-chan from Planet Titan.

Huh?

Wait, what?!

Kagura-chan, what do you mean, Titan?!

Hey, what's the meaning of this? This isn't what you said!

Kagura-chan, who was the boy that gave you the letter, then?

Oh, he was just a friend who handed over the letter in Dai-chan's place.

Dai-chan's too big to write a letter,

and it seems he was too shy to hand it over himself.

Uh... Wait, you actually had such a huge friend?

Yep. Soyo-chan introduced us.

The princess?

Believe it or not, Dai-chan's the prince of Planet Titan.

But being so big, he had no one to play with and nowhere he could play, so he was bored.

So I played with him, 'kay?

And then he got attached to me.

Monsters!

I don't know if I'd call this "attached"...

It looks more like he brought an army to conquer Earth!

Gintama

Slip Arc

My Bald Dad, My Light-Haired Dad, and My Dad's Glasses

Watch the Slip Arc in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV!

Awesome, right? I totally got the jump on the bingo balls of life.

You may have hit bingo with royalty...

But his balls are way too big! Riding those would be harder than riding a Gundam!

Anyway, don't be so nervous, 'kay? Take a seat, Dai-chan.

Huh? Wait, what now?

Is this the boy? Is this really the boyfriend?

What's a "boyfriend," again? How is it spelled?

Calm down. He's just a big boyfriend.

A father whose daughter's boyfriend thinks he's a pushover is done for.

Oh, I see. So you're Kagura's boyfriend.

Thanks for being there for her.

I'm her father.

That's the space-famous Umibozu for you.

With no fear of the massive boyfriend, he showed off how dignified a father can be.

F-F...

Father!

Umibozu-san!

He's been turned to mincemeat! Only one of his b*lls remains!

That's not one of his b*lls! It's just his cue ball!

Ah, my bad.

Damn, I overdid it.

I ain't been on Earth long,

so I don't really get how to do greetings or, like, the bowing thing.

And, like, I can't stand that kinda formal crap, anyway.

You can ignore the prince thing, so why don't we keep things frank and casual, Pops?

Since you're Kagura's old man, I already consider you a bro.

Oh, could you tell me your email address?

I see. Then I'll tell you...

the email address to Hell!

Why me?!

C-Calm down! Grow up!

You promised to be a grown-up today!

You calm down!

He comes across as incredibly audacious, but I'm imagining things, right?

It just seems like he's looking down on us because he's so huge, right?

Kids these days are all like that, right? Right?!

We'll never get anywhere if you get pissed by whatever a kid says.

Let me handle this.

Y-Yeah, Earth's societal norms are too complicated, huh?

We just wanted to meet Kagura's friend, is all.

Anyway, make yourself at home. Want some tea?

Nah, I'm good. I'm chewing gum.

Really? We have snacks, too.

Seriously, I'm good. Earth food doesn't suit my taste.

Oh, really?

Could he be any more blunt? Is he messing with me?

What do you usually eat?

Your size must complicate things.

Hip hop.

What do you mean, you eat hip hop?

The only things on Earth that suit my tastes are hip hop and reggae.

They're music of the soul, check it out.

Apparently, everyone on his planet is a b-boy.

Uh, you guys are just big boys!

Everything else is old-fashioned and lame.

Look who's talking! You're all dressed like cavemen!

Honestly, I was shocked I had to come meet my girlfriend's folks.

Huh? Why?

What matters is how the couple feels in their hearts.

Parents sticking their nose into it is totally lame, I say.

Earth is pretty behind the times, huh?

Really? I can't tell. Are we?

Anyway, isn't it normal to be worried about the kind of friends your daughter has?

Right, Kagura?

Y'know, I've been meaning to point this out.

I'm not her friend.

I'm her boyfriend.

Oh, sorry. Boyfriend, huh?

I hate to say it, but that word doesn't exist on Earth.

Right, Kagura?

Hey, can I be straight with you? Who are you to Kagura?

I don't want some rando calling her "Kagura" like they're close.

She's my gal.

Dai-chan, I mentioned this before.

Gin-chan's my Earth dad.

Wait, brother?

Oh, I know. He's like crab lice, 'kay?

Why did I regress to being crab lice?!

Y'know, you're going out with me. Why are you still living with your ex?

I won't stand for half-assing things like that.

Keep messing with my gal, and I'll make a mess of Earth.

FYI, we could wipe out your Earth if we wanted to.

If I say the word, my bros all over the galaxy will gather here.

Bring it!

Attack on anytime you want, titans!

I'll force a retreat back into space!

For your hairline, that is!

Why my hairline?!

Calm down! You're a grown-up!

Now we're even!

Grown-ups don't obsess over getting even!

I'm imagining things, right?

Some brain-dead boy is saying he'll wipe out Earth,

but only your hair roots will be wiped out, right?

Right? Right?!

Just calm down, you two.

Dai-kun, it's not what you think. These two aren't like that.

Kagura's only working a live-in job here.

Honestly, I'm against it too, but she doesn't listen to me.

For real? Who would want to work here?

Calm down!

But you can rest assured, Pops.

I'm gonna finish my work here and go back home soon.

I plan on taking Kagura with me.

Hey, what are you talking about?

Oh, keep your mouth shut.

I don't intend to half-ass things with Kagura.

I'm gonna marry her.

Hey! What are you two doing?!

I'm imagining things, right?

I think I heard the word "marry" just now, but I'm just imagining things, right?

Yeah, that's right. It's totally just your imagination.

Who said you could talk like that?

Marry me? That's news to me.

Oh, keep your mouth shut!

We're discussing something important here.

Uh, I'm not sure I follow. Aren't you skipping a few too many steps?

That stuff comes after dating and things going well.

And you haven't even started dating yet.

We don't need to do all that crap.

We're soulmates. Our hearts are totally resonating.

Oh, really?

Now, now. Puppy love makes your mind go blank and blinds you.

Most people start finding tons of faults

and come to hate each other eventually.

Nah, that ain't happening with us.

I ain't got any faults.

And even if Kagura does, I've got the heart to accept them all.

Oh, really?

Nah, you won't be saying that for long.

You'll learn how big a glutton she is once you live with her.

She'll destroy your food budget.

Plus she's crude and can't cook anything but egg-on-rice.

She's sure to be a useless housewife who doesn't do any housework.

Yeah, yeah.

Plus she's a 'kay addict who needs a trip to 'Kay A.

And your kids will 100% inherit the bald gene.

What do you even see in her?

If I were you, I'd never pick her up if she was lying on the street.

I'd take her to the lost and found!

Oh, really?!

This is perfect, then.

You can marry me off and get rid of me.

Fine by me, 'kay? I don't like half-assing things, either.

Guess we can date with an eye toward marriage.

Wait!

That's not it!

Well, there you have it. You'll give us your blessings, right?

Now, now.

Calm down, all of you.

Putting aside the taking Kagura-chan along thing for now...

We'll just take it as a sign that you're serious about this relationship.

That's okay, right?

Hell no!

You're just a rotten virgin with zero experience! Stay out of this!

They're not getting engaged at such a young age!

Quit mouthing off about your naïve ideals!

Love is just a illusion!

True love only begins once that illusion wears off, you stupid brats!

Tell them, not me!

We're being grown-ups here because you told us to grow up!

Then say what you're supposed to as grown-ups!

What the hell, man? What's a grown-up, anyway?

I don't know anymore!

Meanwhile, those two went off on their date!

Ack!

Man, dating is a pain.

Can't we just stay friends?

We're only gonna be sparring like usual anyway, right?

Nah, it was only during the day so far,

but now we'll be able to spar at night, too.

More than anything, I don't wanna let anyone else have you.

I don't see why I have to be monopolized by either you or those morons.

Are you stupid? You know that ain't it.

If you love someone, you wanna make them yours alone.

Ain't it only natural to feel that way?