Baby Daddy

It's gorgeous, isn't it?

- Oh, yeah, wow. - It's so pretty.

Oh, I just can't believe that we're actually getting married.

Yeah. Neither can the pig that just flew by.

Oh!

I for one am happy that you're making mom so happy.

We all know if mom's happy, she spends a lot less time making us unhappy,

so, I'm happy.

Thanks, guys. I'd hug you, but this is a really good suit.

I've gotta get to work. I will see you...

- later. - M'kay.

You really do like the ring?

Oh, it is everything I ever dreamed of.

I love it, I love it, I love it.

I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!

What are you talking about? It's beautiful.

And the best part is, if the diamond falls out no one will notice.

Yeah. That's the problem.

This ring is supposed to shout to the world that I am marrying a younger,

beautiful man, but all it shows is that my fiance is a cheap bastard!

That Brad is a lucky, lucky guy.

Whoa, there goes another one.

Okay, stop it. Stop it.

They just keep going.

I can't believe Riley is still dating old man Ross.

Sure, he's an attorney.

Makes a lot of money. Great shape.

I just don't know what she sees in him.

So I said, "actually, lawyers do it in their briefs."

Okay, I need to call it a night.

I have to be in court early tomorrow.

See you in the morning?

Hey, do you mind if I share a cab with you?

Early morning for me too.

Are you sure? I can walk you home.

No, finish your drink. I'll text you when I get there.

Bye.

See?

I told you we could just go back to being us.

Dating other people.

Right in front of each other.

Not awkward at all.

I need to go get another drink.

Wow.

Early night. I saw Ross taking off.

Curfew back at the rest home?

Ben, seriously, when are you going to just let this go?

Okay, so he's a little older than me.

Could you be any more immature?

Rhetorical, rhetorical. That wasn't a dare.

I got it. I'll be good, I promise.

I just can't believe you like hanging out with him.

Or any of his friends. What do you guys talk about?

Uh, nothing?

Since I haven't actually met any of his friends.

I know what you're thinking.

He hasn't introduced me because he's embarrassed by our relationship.

That's not true.

Actually, I just assumed it's because they're all dead.

You know what? That's it, I'm done.

- No, Riley... - I said done.

Gosh. So hard to see why you two broke up.

I should go apologize to her.

I just can't help it, man.

I hate seeing her with Ross when I know she should be with me.

We're perfect together.

Like you and Ashley.

Or should I say "Ashley two."

Why is your girlfriend listed as "Ashley two" on your phone?

Oh, because when I was in Calgary, I dated that one Ashley,

and then when I met this one, I kind of forgot to ask her what her last name was.

So now it's been six weeks. I think it's too late.

Danny, it's actually never too late to find out what your girlfriend's last name is.

And Calgary girl's name was Amber.

I wonder if that's why we broke up.

No, it's probably something else.

Why, why, why, Tucker?

I, I, I wish you would stop talking to me.

You don't understand.

The first time I got married, ray couldn't afford to buy a ring

because we squandered all of our money on baby food.

And my prom dress.

This ring is my chance to finally get it all right.

If you think the ring was the problem with your last marriage,

then I don't think you know how gay works.

But with that said, I get it.

What about this. What if...

The ring just accidentally disappears.

- Accidentally? - Yeah.

Just put it on the counter, and I'll handle the rest.

Oh my God, Tucker, you're a genius.

I know. I'll say that I was doing the dishes.

Or something more believable?

Just turn around and you'll never see it again.

Okay, now under no circumstances ever give it back to me again.

Tucker? Tucker?

Wow. Talk about two birds, one stone.

Ooh, a sandwich.

Hey, Riley... Oh, hey, Ross.

Ben, hi.

When I said "pop by anytime," that was just a figure of speech.

I was just hoping I could talk to you for a second.

Yeah, not a problem. I'll just go finish in the bedroom.

The movie we were watching.

What do you want?

Listen, I thought about it all night, and you're right.

I keep saying I want to be a good friend, and then I do the opposite.

So if you like Ross as much as you say you do, then I will learn to like him too.

Or at least pretend to like him so well you can't tell.

Thank you. Apology accepted.

And I would like you to know that I will be meeting all of Ross's friends.

Yeah, I'm throwing a little cocktail party.

Wow, a cocktail party. Look at you all grown up.

Hey, um, will you come?

And be the supportive person I know you can be?

Yes, of course. Anything else?

Yeah, get out. We were kind of in the middle of something.

Oh, bang-de-bang. Shmoo-de-shmoo.

Oh, my God. Get out, get out!

I don't know why I'm being so crazy, Emma.

He probably won't even notice that the ring is gone.

Not when you got all this.

Right? Mm-hmm.

Knuckles. Give it. Boo.

- Hey hey hey. - Oh, hi. Hey.

Are my two favorite girls ready to get some lunch?

- Where is your ring? - Oh, uh...

- Yeah, um... my ring... - Oh, my God.

You didn't lose it?

Please tell me you did not lose that ring.

Bonnie, that ring is a family heirloom.

My great great grandfather

gave that to my great great grandmother on the day of their engagement.

I did not know that.

And then when the war broke out, and his country called him to duty.

She put that ring on a chain around his neck

with the promise of coming back to his true love in one piece.

He was killed two days later,

but that ring has gone down in my family from generation to generation.

My grandfather to my grandmother, my father to my mother,

and now from me to you.

That ring is priceless and everlasting, just like our love.

Geez, you're long-winded.

You didn't let me finish.

It's not lost, it's just at the jewelers getting resized.

Yeah, it'll be back in time for our engagement pictures tomorrow.

I promise.

You know what? I'm just gonna let Tucker know

that we are going out. He likes to stay informed.

Um, here.

Okay.

Such a story.

- Tucker! - I'm not doing anything.

Sorry.

It's just my gut reaction when a mom walks into my room.

Look, I need that ring back.

You said "under no circumstances."

- (Growls) - Okay!

- These are pretty good circumstances. - Yeah.

- It's in my pocket. - Okay.

At least, I thought it was in my pocket.

Wait, wait.

- I know where it is. - Okay.

Where are you going?!

- (Groans) - No!

Here you go.

Dude, did you get her to sign the fake guest book?

Yep. And her last name is...

She's got bad handwriting.

"A-s-h-l-e..." Yes!

Her name's Ashley Ashley.

Damn it.

- Ben. - Hey, Ross the boss.

How's it going, man?

You know, if you come through the back, you can use the ramp.

I'm sorry.

That was the last one. I promised Riley.

In fact, I'm actually looking forward to your little cocktail party.

- Here, on the house. - Yeah, about that.

How about we have a little chat man to man.

- Or however close you can get to that. - Okay, not on the house.

Look, I know all about you and Riley. She told me everything.

Sorry, dude. I'm a tough act to follow.

But she seems to think that you two are just friends now.

But I'm not an idiot, Ben.

It's pretty obvious that you're still in love with her.

So this is me just letting you know that Riley, she's moved on, okay?

She tried the boy, now she has the man.

What are you saying?

I'm saying

I'm sorry, but you can't come to the party. I'll give Riley your regrets.

Oh, you're gonna be the one with regrets that you ever messed with me... aah!

Oh, God. I feel like I'm forgetting something.

Right, I have food, drinks,

music, and I'll find something with like

a really good beat... Oh, my god, beets!

- I forgot the beet salad. - Riley!

Riley, everything is gonna be perfect.

Okay? Because you are perfect.

Hey, guys. Hope I'm not late.