Booksmart

Good morning, winner.

Take a deep breath.

Good. You're ready to dominate this day.

You've worked harder than everyone,

and that is why you're a champion.

You understand that greatness takes sacrifice.

Visualize what you still want to achieve.

Stand atop the mountain of your success

and look down at everyone

who's ever doubted you.

Fuck those losers.

Fuck them in their stupid fucking faces.

Oh!

Oh, shit.

Hold the phone!

I'm comin'!

Oh, shit.

- What? - What? Excuse me.

What?

What?

What?

- Missed ya! - I missed you.

- I missed you so much. - It's been one night.

- Are we gonna go to school, or... - No.

I don't think we are.

No, we're just gonna stay... here.

- Move! - Jeez!

Are you...

I swear to God.

What are you doing?

- Are you kidding me? Samantha! - You couldn't have just gone around?

Where was this energy at my inauguration assembly, folks?

True.

I hope I never have to see any of you ever again, okay?

That's it. Signin' off.

Go, Crocketts!

- Principal Brown? - Oh...

Hi, Molly, Amy. What's shakin'?

I want to make the transition of next year's student government

as seamless as possible,

- so that when I'm up in New Haven... - Yale. You can just say Yale, please.

Well, our class's official policy is to not discuss

where anyone is attending next year.

We don't want them to feel insecure.

Very thoughtful.

I need to go over the end of the year budget numbers we have.

Gosh.

Really?

Like, now?

I mean, why don't you do it with Nick? You know, please?

I mean, he's... you know, he's the vice president.

Nick?

We both know that Nick only ran for VP because they plan the dances.

That position is...

It's basically a popularity contest. He's useless.

Ladies, it's the last day, you know?

We did it, huh?

We got you through high school.

Can't we just graduate, head off to college,

you know, celebrate this wonderful achievement?

Let's get through the day without anything horrible happening.

Sorry, are you shutting the door on us? Not subtle. We will persist!

Nick's like the great equalizer.

Delegates from every group of girls are casting their ballots for his penis.

Oh, Triple A takes the lead.

Don't call her that.

Everybody calls her that.

She gave roadside assistance to three senior guys last year.

You hear them getting degrading nicknames?

They call Sam Ross "Dick Splinter."

That's not derogatory, it's a factual description.

- 7:20. - Under eight minutes?

- You're joking! - Aah!

Oh, my God. 9:43.

What am I gonna do without you girls next year?

Nobody around here even attempts the Thursday.

Well, Amy and I are gonna Skype the puzzle every single week,

- so we will send you our Sunday Times. - Yep.

You know what? Why don't I just give you two my number?

That way, you guys can call or text me if you need anything.

- Yeah! That would make our lives. - Yeah. Cool.

- We'd love that. - Definitely.

- I'll give you mine after. - I'll share the contact.

- I can give... - I'll share it.

Wait. Miss Fine, I thought there were no cell phones allowed in class.

- Or are there exceptions for ass-kissers? - Hey.

A dollar in the swear jar.

I'm so sorry. These shorts, they don't have pockets.

- Okay, excuse me. Excuse me. Jesus Christ! - Whoa, Triple A!

Oh, my God.

- No spatial awareness at this school. - People just really don't.

- Hey, Amy? - It's her!

Yeah?

Did you just score your teacher's phone number?

Yeah.

Nice.

Hey, Miss Fine?

You should come party with us tonight.

Did you just ask Miss Fine if she wants to party with you?

You think she wants to watch you get drunk and break things?

Hold on. I was having a conversation with her. You're not part of this.

- I'm... - Sit down, Theo.

Yo, yo. What up, Miss Fine?

Just a last day present for my favorite teach.

- Jared, you are not my student. - I've heard great things.

And, hey, everybody else got their graduation gifts, right?

Come on.

Jare Bear coming at you from all angles, right?

- Nobody asked for that. - Uhh...

Big me, littler me, little baby Jared at the bottom.

Baby Jared says, "Happy graduation, everybody!"

Yeah, no one's gonna wear a shirt with your face on it, Jared.

Like, not even ironically.

Okay, well, agree to disagree, 'cause...

Jared, just go.

I'm out of here. Wasn't even here. See you, Molly.

- Bye, Molly. - I'll see ya.

Bye, Molly.

- Why does he always do that? - Fair townspeople!

Fair townspeople?

Fair townspeople, I swear to God!

- What? - Mark thy calendars

and make thy plans to attend the drama department's summer program,

Shakespeare in the Park... ing Lot.

We will be performing the Bard's comedies as modern tragedies

outside Whole Foods across town.

Well, it's actually funny. It's...

It's what we did in my summer program

- last year in... - Barcelona,

when I lived in Barcelona.

I will be directing,

and Alan...

may be starring, pending auditions.

I don't audition.

I'm offer only.

This looks fun, but I'm not gonna... I'm not gonna be here.

Yeah, Amy's spending the summer in Botswana,

helping women make their own tampons.

That's...

gross.

Well, blood attracts lions. I'm saving lives.

Oh, okay. Well, that's actually noble. I, too, have a fear of big cats.

And I can't because I'm working all summer, and also, I don't want to.

You are a philistine.

Why would you do theater when you could do debate?

Because some of us enjoy working with others.

And some of us know how to win.

Nobody's winning in that outfit.

Sit down, y'all. We got work to do.

- So, Molly... - Mmm?

- Why don't you start us off? - Thank you.

Kill it.

All right, well, as you might recall from my analysis yesterday,

- we were talking about... - It's our last day!

- Let us live! God! - ...submitting to authority...

You've gotta open...

You've gotta open your mouth a little bit more, all right?

- Yeah, okay, I gotcha, I gotcha. - Okay, chips!

- All right, this is it. - I gotcha. Ready?

- Dude, how am I supposed to get there? - That was my bad.

- Nick? - You're wild.

- Nick. - Wait, just one sec. Just... come on.

Nick, there's some student government stuff to go over.

Come on, man, aim for my mouth!

We have to go over the end of year budget, so if you could...

Yeah, just, we're playin' this game where I've gotta catch it with...

It's complicated. I'll... I'll hit you later, I guess.

I'm sure it's complicated.

I cannot believe I lasted an entire year with Nick as my vice president.

He's allergic to work. All he wants to do is goof off.

It's infuriating.

Go talk to Ryan.

What? No.

Cool, cool, 'cause I'm... I'm gonna go talk to Ryan.

- 'Cause I have so much to say... - No, no, no.

- Yeah? - Fine.

Just... I'm going.

- Just gonna... - There she goes.

- Oh, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. - Oh, dude.

Amy.

- It's all good. - Here you go.

Sharp elbows.

Not as sharp as your... chin.

What?

Um... so isn't it crazy that it's... it's the last day?

I know, dude. I can barely believe it.

Are you gonna come to Nick's tonight?

His aunt went on a cruise ship that broke down,

so Nick's gonna throw a party at her house.

That's... that's awesome.

It's... it's all right.

They're, you know, they're stuck on a boat shitting in buckets.

Oh, that's not really what I meant.

Oh, Jesus.

- Come on, Tanner. - All right, well...

All right, I'll see you later.

I'll just, um...

Fuck. Fuck, fuck.

- What are you doing? Go back. - Fuck, fuck.

No, that was bad. That was bad. I'm good.