Riverdale

Winter had come to Riverdale,

and everyone was suffering from an acute case ofQuiz Show fever.

No one more so than Betty Cooper,

who was pouring her considerable energies

into beating the tar out of Stonewall Prep's team

led by, wouldn't you know it, Bret Weston Wallis.

The only person immune toQuiz Show fever?

My pal Archie Andrews...

- -...who was feeling a lot less lonely these days.

Hey, Archie. You okay?

Yeah.

-Yeah, I'm great, Uncle Frank. -Not me.

First day as foreman...

Man, I'm more nervous than when I started basic training.

No, you're gonna do awesome.

In fact, I got something for you.

It's Fred's tool belt.

Yeah, I can't take another man's gear.

Especially not my brother's.

Well, you're not talking it, you're borrowing it.

He'd want you to. So do I.

Thanks, Archie...

for everything.

Thank God for Bret's morning workouts--

Jug, do not mention him right now, okay,

and ruin this moment.

I just love getting you all wound up.

-Why are you smiling? -Just everything.

You're here,

I turned in my draft for the Baxter Brothers book.

And Yale said...

Yale said what?

Did you get accepted into Yale and not tell me?

Yeah, I think I did.

Wow.

-Are you okay? -Yeah, no, I'm just... I'm just processing.

But I'm happy for you, Jug.

I'm happy for you, I'm proud of you.

-Really? -Yes.

Yes.

Let me show you how much.

You two are finally done.

I thought I'd be late for class.

Oh, I guess I'll see you in New Haven next year.

Of course, you'll just be a visitor.

-You got into Yale? -Yeah. Don't look so surprised.

And don't worry, Betty,

I will try to keep the co-eds away from Forsythe.

No promises.

But I do promise to crush you in Quiz Showfinals,

if Riverdale makes it that far.

Dr. Beaker, as our chemistry teacher,

we are hoping you have the skill set

to help us with something of a personal nature.

Are you a rum drinker, Dr. Beaker?

Uh, not during school hours

and never with students.

Ugh, calm down, Dr. Egghead.

We're simply asking you to analyze

our maple-based concoction to ensure that our recipe

is different enough from Lodge Rum.

That way, we can't be sued or ceased-and-desisted by my father.

So I ask you again, Dr. Beaker, are you a rum drinker?

The board that the runs the Baxter Brothers

has taken a look at the first draft of your book, and they have a few thoughts.

Well, one more global thought.

They would like a new mystery.

New mystery? Like the whole book?

They think the boy in the river storyline is a bit soft.

They're looking for something darker.

They mentioned something about say, um...

serial killers being a potential fertile ground to explore.

Okay, um, I'll just have to think about it.

Well, think fast,

and have some pitches prepared.

The Brotherhood is coming here to meet with you.

So, I need some serial killer advice.

My publishers want a dark and edgy villain for the book, Charles.

So now I have to come up with pitches

in the vein of Zodiac or Hannibal Lecter.

I figured you would have some ideas.

Yeah, sure, no problem.

But don't you have firsthand experience

with an infamous local serial killer?

You mean the Black Hood?

No, I couldn't do that to Betty.

Hmm, fair enough.

Well, I've got boxes full of killers,

so I'll pick out my ten most gruesome ones for you.

Thank you, Chuck. I owe you.

I know you all worked hard for my brother.

Rest assured, as the new foreman,

I plan on busting my ass, the same as you do.

And I specifically want to thank Tom Keller

for filling in during these difficult times.

Cool, guys, let's get to work.

- - Okay, guys, let's go.

You know, Archie, I would've appreciated

a heads-up that I was being replaced.

I know, Mr. Keller, I'm sorry.

It happened fast, but Frank has a ton of experience.

I think the crew's gonna love him.

I gotta be honest with you, Arch,

I don't know about your uncle.

He's been trouble since the day he was born.

I must've arrested him a half dozen times when I was sheriff.

Oh, that was then.

My dad believed in second chances, Mr. Keller. So do I.

[Quiz Show theme music playing]

Welcome back to the Regional RIVW Quiz Show'sSemi-finals.

Seaside High trails Riverdale 210 to 240,

and now for the final round.

Which Venetian island has been famous

for glassmaking since the 13th century?

- -Murano.

- Correct. -Never go in August. So many mosquitoes.

What is the length of the diagonal

if the side of the square is 10?

- -10 square root of 2.

- Correct. -My brilliant little savant.

Which of the following is the powerhouse of the cell.

- -Mitochondria.

Correct.

Which Americans architect's house

-in southwest Pennsylvania-- -

-Frank Lloyd Wright. - Correct.

Who also designed Thornhill. I knew that.

- -Well, time's up. Riverdale has won.

They will go on to face Stonewall Prep in the finals.

Hey, Betty. You did great out there.

Great might not be good enough to beat him.

Ah, that's Bret, huh?

Bret Weston Wallis clearly came here to throw me off my game.

Is there any way you could help me with him?

As long as it doesn't involve shallow graves and lye.

No, I just wanna make him sweat.

He's a son of a diplomat, brags about being untouchable.

But what skeletons are buried in his closet?

Any intel you could find that would help me

mess with his mind would be much appreciated.

Is it because he got into Yale and you didn't?

- -Alice told me.

Charles, I worked my ass off for four years,

I put an extra time at the Blue and Gold,

I maintained a 4.1 GPA, and I still didn't get in.

Not knowing why is driving me crazy.

My former mentor at the FBI, he teaches criminal law at Yale.

I'll see if I can get you some answers.

About Yale and Bret.

Thank you.

And so, anyway, the Baxter Brothers

are trying to catch this serial killer named the Fish Monger,

who gets his name because he guts his victims--

The idea of a serial killer is intriguing,

but what we've heard so far feels a bit... forced.

Okay...

What about a serial killer that uses social media

in order to stalk his prey?

Forsythe's best work stems from his personal experiences.

Might I suggest you start there?

What about a dark and ominous force

that threatens the town of Seaport?

Uh, an obsessed killer who is looking to expose

the hypocrisy and sins of his neighbors.

The Baxter Brothers discover that the man unleashing his righteous rage

is the father of Bobby Baxter's girlfriend, Tracy True.

This sound promising.

What's the name of the killer?

Uh, the Brown Hood.

If you give me a little more time, I can come up with another--

No, we like this.

You ask me, this sounds like a million dollar idea.

Hey.

I just drove by the site. Where are the guys?

Oh, Frank called it a day

and decided to invite everybody back to your place

for beers and tall tales.

Oh, you didn't wanna go?

Somebody's gotta balance the books here, Archie, they're bit of a mess.

How so?

Well, for starters, nobody received their Christmas bonuses.

-Your dad never missed a year. -We'll bounce back,

Mr. Keller, we just need more time.

You gotta remember

at this point Fred is three sheets to the wind, okay?

And he's somehow convinced himself that stealing Seaside's mascot

would give Riverdale the edge in the playoff game, okay?

So, he climbs over this big fence, right,

and he goes to grab Peter the Pig out of his pen,

and get this, he can't climb back out.

- -He is absolutely trapped.

So, the next morning, security shows up,

and there's Fred, all curled up in the mud, holding on to this squealing hog,

and without missing a beat, my brother says,

"I got the bacon. You got the eggs?"

Your old man sure knew how to pick a crew.

Reminds me of the guys I served with.

Mr. Keller said some of the guys were upset

they didn't get their bonuses this year.

Hmm, you're so much like your dad.