Ladies Should Listen

Julian, old fellow!

- Paul! - Oh my!

- And you're looking splendid. - Well, you too, Paul,

- and you're thinner. - Oh, really? Oh, you noticed it?

Yes. Well.

Diet, exercise,

cut out all sweets, all starches,

and 25 rolls every morning.

- Ah, and how many cups of coffee? - Well...

Oh, no, no, honestly... susie.

Susie? Susie!

Paully!

Susie! Where are...?

Oh... come, darling.

Come.

Oh, paully, will you get my bags? Thank you.

Julian... Ms. susie flamberg.

Julian de lussac.

How do you do? Ah, look out!

As I was about to say, susie is related to the flamberg millions.

- Mm, all of them? - Oh, it's her father,

and she is my fiancée.

Well, how fortunate.

Yes, fortunate that it isn't true.

I've told you time and again

that I am not your fiancée.

Oh, well, you can't hang a man for hoping.

When did they pass that law?

I... I'll get the car.

Ooh, your tie...

- Nice trip? - Yes.

- Glad to be back in Paris? - Yes.

- How was Chile? - Yes.

- I said, "how was Chile?" - Oh, Chile was fine.

Oh.

And the naked women, how were they?

- Yes, Chile. - Chile?

Chile was fine... a little hot.

How could it be hot when it's chilly?

Hush, dumpling.

- Make any money? - No, but I will.

- "No, but you will"? How? - I bought an option on the nitrate concession.

- Really? Smart. - Worth a fortune.

Really? Very smart.

Took every sou I had.

Really?

- What was that? - Mercedes.

- You know her? - It's the make.

Yeah, she smiled.

Paul was referring to the body.

- Hush, dumpling. - Hush, dumpling.

You were about to pass a lady in distress.

- Anything wrong? - Yes, uh...

- Your tie needs straightening. - Thanks.

No, the other way.

- Thanks. - No, that's too far.

- May I? - Thanks!

There, I think that's better.

- All right? - Perfect.

Ahh! She's a...

Hush, dumpling.

Falling in love again.

Never wanted to.

What am I to do?

Falling in love again.

Never wanted to.

What am I to do?

Falling in love again.

Never wanted to.

What am I to do?

Can't help it.

- Ah, everything ready, Albert? - Quite, sir... I've just selected the necktie.

Yes, which one?

Not the one you've been wearing for the last 10 days, sir.

And I'm going to wear it for the next 10 years.

- Or until I can find out her last name. - Yes, sir.

Oh, and, Albert, the shaving mirror is all steamed up again.

Yes, sir. I beg pardon, sir.

- Yes? - Would you mind?

Mind? Mind what?

Albert, you're a genius.

Oh, thank you, sir.

- Ah, but our big invention, how's that coming? - It's ready, sir,

- all but the motor. - Well, why don't you go out and buy a motor?

Well, you... I mean, we...

- Have no money, sir. - Well, go out and charge a motor.

- Oh, thank you, sir. - Not at all.

Will you... will you look now?

Yes, right away.

All set, Albert?

Yes, sir. That's the button on the desk, sir.

- Oh yes. - It isn't connected yet,

but if you just pretend that it is and sort of press it,

I'll sort of pretend I'm the motor.

Of course.

- Are you ready? - Yes, sir.

- Did you press the button? - No, go ahead.

Gol

- excellent! - Thank you, sir.

And listen to this!

A thunderstorm?

- It's not raining on my side of the building. - Really?

I'll go out immediately, sir, and get the motor.

- Splendid, Albert, splendid! - Thank you, sir.

Julian, what's the meaning of all this nonsense?

Paul, have you ever had a lady visit your apartment at the classic hour of five o'clock?

Five o'clock? Why, yes, I think I have.

Yes, and haven't you always found that she must be home by a quarter to six?

- Yes, I think I have. - Yes, you know you have.

Why, it's happening all over Paris between five and a quarter to six.

Really? Well, well, well.

- What is? - Men are wrecking their brains

to find arguments to hold their fair visitors.

But, I... I simply press my little button.

Boom! There is a loud clap of thunder.

She's frightened... she clings to me.

Quarter to six is quite forgotten.

Julian,

- you're a genius. - Thank you, sir!

- Oh, what time is it? - Hm? Oh, I don't know... I never know.

- It's ten minutes to five. - As late as all that?

- Come. - Why?

Oh, uh-huh... for whose benefit is all that?

Not that woman who straightened you out in her car?

- You're putting it a bit crudely. - Oh, come now, you're old enough to face life.

- Is it she? - Mm, ah.

- Do you see her often? - Not often enough.

Uh-huh, uh...

Well...

- A little thing of Albert's. - Well, ah.

Hm, what's her name?

- Marguerite. - Marguerite what?

- Oh, I don't know. - You don't know?

No, all she would tell me is her first name and her telephone number.

Well, if you know her telephone number it shouldn't be difficult to figure out her last name.

Mm, you think so? Try it.

Did you ever go through a telephone directory page by page?

No, but I'm reading Ann for the adverse.

Well, then you know what I mean, I...

I'm now at the letter "c," at the cohens.

- I've been there for some time. - A charming family.

But, Julian, do you think this is a time for philandering?

- I mean, with all your debts and everything? - Well, I still have this option

- on the Chilean nitrate concession, haven't I? - Oh, that thing.

Oh yes, uh-huh. When does your option expire?

- In a week. - Oh, then you'll have nothing.

Paul, do you want to get in on a good thing?

- I think I'll be going. - Paul!

- This concession is worth a fortune. - Yes, well, uh-huh...

- I still think I'll be going. - Oh.

- Now, Julian. - Yes?

Oh, oh... I forgot what I came for.

No, no, no, I remember, yes... I'm giving a little cocktail party in my apartment.

- Nice place for it. - Yes, and susie...

Ms. susie flamberg, you remember?

- I remember her glasses. - Yes, well she sent me up here

- to ask you to join the party. - Well.

Yes. May I tell her you can't come?

- Certainly. - Thank you.

Hello, hello! Yes, it is.

Marguerite, my darling, where are you?

Where?

What? Never see you again? But, what...?

But, Marguerite, we can't separate yet...

Why, I don't even know your last name.

What? Say that again.

All right, if that's your last word, here's mine.

You might not believe this Marguerite, but I'm... I'm going to kill myself.

I've taken the gun out of the drawer.

I'm pointing it at my head.

I love you Marguerite, and now I'm pulling the trigger.

Goodbye.

- There was a shot, sir. - Oh yeah, quite all right, Albert,

I just committed suicide.

Then, you would like to be alone, sir?

Yeah, yeah, do your marketing, I...

I don't know how long it would take her to get here.

Let me in! Let me in!

- She must live in the building, sir. - She must live next door!

Oh, Albert, let her in on your way out... Don't answer any questions,

- just point to this room. - Let me in! Let me in!

- Oh, and Albert... Albert. - Yes, sir?

- Try to look, uh, wistful. - Yes, sir.

Darling! Where are you? Ugh!

Oh, how terrible! If only I thought you had meant it, I could have said something,

but it was all so quick, and...

He's alivel

Who are you?

- Who are you? - Nobody. Let me go please.

- Haven't I seen you before? - No. Please let me go.

Oh no, not without... hey, hey, hey.

Not without an explanation. You called me "darling."

I thought you were dead.

- Do I know you? - No.

But, I know you. I know everything about you.

- Oh, don't be silly. - It's true.

All right, what was I doing yesterday afternoon?

You were at the races. You bet on crépes suzette in the third event,

and one at nine-to-one.

Then, you stopped at the telephone exchange and asked the manager for the last name