Meet the Deedles

**

* OH, OH

* WHOA, OH-OH-OH-OH

* WHEN THE WAVES COMES CRASHING DOWN ON HEAVEN * * HE WILL BE THERE

* WHEN THE SKY SENDS THUNDER THROUGH THE HORIZON AND THE RAIN KEEPS FALLING *

* DO YOU BELIEVE IN TRUTH OR IN FANTASY * * SAID YOU WOULD BE THERE

* DON'T FORGET HE RISKED IT ALL FOR ONE LAST CHANCE AT GOING SOMEWHERE *

* OH, OH

* WHOA, OH

* THERE WAS A TIME WHEN ALL HIS DREAMS WERE IN HIS HANDS *

* NOW HE'S SPINNING

* LUCKY CHARMS AND ONE-EYED JACKS WON'T BRING IT BACK *

* THE WRITING'S ON THE WALL

* AND THE DAY WHEN HE BELIEVED WOULD NEVER BE * * NOW IT'S COME, OH-OH

* ALL THE CRACKS HE'S STARIN' AT BELONG TO HIM *

* BUT A LONG TIME AGO

* WHOA-OH *

YOU CUT THE WRONG PLANT ! THE PLANT YOU WANT TO CUT IS OVER THERE !

WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT ? YOU TOLD ME, "CUT THIS PLANT" ! THAT PLANT IS WRONG.

YOU WRONG ! YOU'RE FIRED ! YOU CAN'T FIRE ME !

NO ! GO HOME ! GO HOME ! TODAY IS SCHOOL DAY !

NO KIDNAP ! TWINS CANNOT PARTY !

LEAVE MR. DEEDLE ALONE !

HEY, COME ON. IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, DUDE !

DEEDLE, WAKE UP !

WHAT'S UP, MAN ?

COME ON ! GET OUT OF BED ! OH, WHAT ?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !

YEAH-HEH-HEH ! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEEDLES !

WHOO-HOO ! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US, BRO !

THAT'S RIGHT. BIG 18, FULLY LEGAL !

FULLY LEGAL AND LIVING REGAL !

YEAH, JUST ANOTHER SCHOOL DAY IN PARADISE.

YOU'VE DITCHED SCHOOL FOR THE LAST TIME, DEEDLES.

MAN, WE SHOULD HAVE BIRTHDAYS MORE OFTEN.

OH, INDEED. YEAH !

OH, HEINOUS ! IT'S CAPTAIN HOOKY !

HEY ! HEY ! IT'S THE PRIMO PARTY POOPER !

WELL, WHAT DO WE DO ? LET'S GO, MAN !

DITCH HIM ! YEAH ! DITCH CAPTAIN HOOKY !

SPEEDBOAT ! PULL OVER !

OH, WHAT ? LOOK ! HE'S CHARGING.

I SAID, PULL THAT THING OVER !

HEY, HE'S GOT THEM FULLY LOCKED ON ! LET'S BAIL FOR THE BEACH !

WHOO-HOO ! PARTY'S OVER ! SORRY, BOSS !

NICE TRY, DEEDLES.

NO WAY ! SINGLED OUT !

- CAN'T SHAKE THIS GUY ! - YEAH, WE'LL NEVER REACH THE BEACH !

WHAT DO YOU SAY, BRO ? NO ESCAPE ? NO SURRENDER !

YOU WANT US, HOOKY ? THEN YOU GOT US !

AHHH ! BANZAI !

KILLER DISMOUNT ! YEAH !

DEEDLES !

AND I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU'VE DONATED TO THE SCHOOL,

BUT YOU KNEW YOUR SONS COULDN'T MISS ANY MORE CLASSES.

THEY KNEW THEY COULDN'T MISS ANY MORE CLASSES.

AND I'M SORRY, MR. DEEDLE, BUT I-I REALLY HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE.

ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU. I'M VERY SORRY.

PRINCIPAL HAMM SAYS YOU HAVE BEEN EXPELLED. WHAT ?

DAD, IT'S NOT OUR FAULT. WE GOT KIDNAPPED ON OUR BIRTHDAY.

YEAH. WHY CAN'T WE GET OUR BIRTHDAY OFF LIKE EVERYONE ELSE ?

WHO'S EVERYONE ELSE ? UH, WASHINGTON,

LINCOLN-- MARTY LUTHER KING, THE BABY JESUS, DAD !

THIS IS ALL MY FAULT, ISN'T IT ?

I DID THIS TO YOU BOYS BY GIVING YOU EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED.

I NEVER DID GET THAT PONY. FROM NOW ON, BOYS, THINGS ARE GONNA BE DIFFERENT.

TODAY YOU'RE 18 YEARS OLD. THIS IS REALITY TIME.

YOU ARE THE HEIRS TO MY LEGACY.

YOU ONE DAY WILL TAKE OVER THE ENTIRE DEEDLES EMPIRE.

AND YOU ARE SURF BUMS !

WITH NO PLANS FOR HIGHER EDUCATION,

NO CHANCE OF SURVIVAL ON YOUR OWN.

THEREFORE, AS YOUR FATHER,

YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE.

YOU TWO ARE GOING TO CAMP.

CAMP ? THAT'S RIGHT. CAMP.

AS IT HAPPENS, I REMEMBER AN OLD 'NAM BUDDY OF MINE CALLED ED FLOWER.

HE RUNS A CAMP FOR BOYS YOUR AGE.

YOU GO THERE FOR A MONTH,

YOU COME BACK MEN.

YOU COME BACK DEEDLES. A MONTH AT SOME CAMP ?

NOW, A FEW MORE REQUESTS.

WHEN YOU GO TO THAT CAMP,

I WANT YOU TO BEHAVE. I WANT YOU TO WORK HARD.

I WANT YOU TO IMPRESS MAJOR FLOWER.

SO, WHEN YOU GET ON THAT PLANE TOMORROW,

YOU'RE GONNA WEAR SUITS.

CAMP BROKEN SPIRIT ?

THAT'S RIGHT, BOY. CAMP BROKEN SPIRIT.

JUST OUTSIDE YELLOWSTONE.

YELLOWSTONE, WYOMING ?

WYOMING'S ON MOLOKAI, RIGHT ?

WYOMING'S NOT IN HAWAII, BRO.

IT'S ON THE MAINLAND.

NO !

FOLKS, IT'S CURRENTLY 35 DEGREES WITH SCATTERED SNOW SHOWERS.

SO, BUNDLE UP AND ENJOY YOUR STAY IN WYOMING.

STEW, MAN, WE'VE LANDED IN A SLURPEE !

EASY, BRO. WE'RE COVERED.

GOOD THING DAD SAID TO WEAR SUITS. NO DOUBT.

HEY, KEEP YOUR PEEPS PEELED FOR THE FLOWER BUD'S MUG.

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO MEET HIM OUT FRONT AT HIGH NOON.

KIDS ! NOON ? THAT'S LIKE IN FOUR HOURS.

PHIL, DID YOU CHANGE YOUR WATCH ?

WHAT ? I LIKE THIS WATCH.

WE'RE IN A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE, BUD.

BRO, TIME IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT.

AND RIGHT NOW I'M MAKING IT DA KINE HULA TIME. DA KINE HULA TIME.

**

A SHOT OF GUAVA, SOME KILLER O.J.,

A LITTLE JUGO DE PINA.

ADD A DASH OF ARTIFICIAL SWEETENER-- BAM !

BAM ! ONE...

RICOLA !

ONE MENTOS... THE FRESHMAKER.

ADD FIRE...

AND TROPICAL-THEMED ACCOUTREMENTS...

- AND YOU GOT... - HULAS !

I'LL MEET YOU AT THE COUNTER. I'M COMING.

I'M SORRY. MAN...

LOOK AT ALL THE... NOTHING.

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE BIG TIME SCENIC. BEAUTY EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK.

OH, THEN DON'T LOOK NOW.

YOW ! SOMEBODY SURE GOT WHACKED WITH THE UGLY STICK.

MR. BIGFOOT. MR. SASQUATCH D. BIGFOOT ?

PLEASE PICK UP THE WHITE COURTESY PHONE.

MAJOR NIGHTMARE.

- WHOA ! A BULLWINKLE ! -

LOOK ! A BAMBI !

AND A DEAD PEPE LE PEW !

AH, TOO COOL, STEW. THIS IS JUST LIKE WATCHING A NATURE SHOW ON TELEVISION.

OR, IN THIS CASE, SMELL-A-VISION. WHAT WAS THAT ?

WHAT WAS WHAT ? YOU THINK I CAN'T HEAR YOU ?

I'M A MOUNTAIN MAN, DEEDLE ! I CAN HEAR THE WIND SHIFT,

A LEAF SPROUT, A FISH FART UNDER A WATERFALL. EWW.

BUT THE ONE THING I TRULY CANNOT STAND IS-- BATHING ?

YOU GOT A LOT OF NERVE, DEEDLE.

NO, YOU GOT A LOT OF NERVE, FLOWER. YOU'RE A MAJOR FRAUD !

YEAH, WHAT'S WITH THE FANCY FLIER AND THE NICE CLEAN MUG SHOT...

AND THE BRIGHT, SHINY MINIVAN FULL OF HAPPY SMILING KIDS ?

YOU'RE A TOTAL SCAM-MEISTER ! YEAH, AND YOU FULLY HOODWINKED OUR NORMALLY UNHOODWINKABLE DAD.

WHO, INCIDENTALLY, I AM E-MAILING THE NANOSECOND WE GET TO CAMP B.S.

OH, YEAH ? WELL, THAT COULD BE A TAD TRICKY.

'CAUSE THERE AIN'T NO CAMP BROKEN SPIRIT ANYMORE.

W-WHAT ? WHAT ?

I LOST IT LAST MONTH.

I LOST IT TO THE DANG PARENTS AND THEIR SCUMBAG LAWYERS !

WELL, I DON'T NEED A CAMP FOR WHAT I GOT PLANNED FOR YOU TWO.

W-WHICH WOULD BE ? SURVIVAL TRAINING !

ROUGHING IT ! GOING ONE-ON-ONE WITH THE ELEMENTS.

I'M TALKING THE BARE NECESSITIES. THE THREE THINGS YOU NEED TO STAY ALIVE--

FOOD, CLOTHING AND SHELTER.

FIRST, CLOTHING. WE'LL HAVE TO TRAP SOMETHING THAT'S GOT A LOT OF FUR.

A BEAR'S GOOD. YOU CAN MAKE THE WHOLE OUTFIT.

BUT, UH, EVEN A SKINNY SQUIRREL MAKES A FINE FUR JOCKSTRAP.

WELL, THAT MAKES SENSE. SINCE SQUIRRELS HIDE NUTS.

THANK YOU ! I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK.

I'M SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR GUFF. YOU GOT ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY, YOU SAY IT !

IF YOU DON'T, SHUT UP !

- I GOT SOMETHING TO SAY. - WHAT ?

TURN ?

MO !

GUESS WHAT WAS WAITING FOR US AT THE P.O. BOX ?

- IS IT FROM YELLOWSTONE ? - WE'VE BEEN ACCEPTED AS RANGER RECRUITS !

- THEY WANT US TO START RIGHT AWAY ! - THIS CALLS FOR A CELEBRATION.

COME ON. I'VE GOT TWO JARS OF SUN TEA WARMING AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SPRING.

YELLOWSTONE, HERE WE COME !

RATS !

SCREWED UP AGAIN.

FROSTICULAR !

OH, MAN. I KILLED 'EM.

LAWYERS !

IF YOU CAN'T FIND ME, YOU CAN'T FRY ME !

STEW, WHAT ABOUT THE MAJOR, MAN ? DO YOU THINK HE'S DEAD ?

FLOWER ? COME ON. THE GUY'S GONNA OUTLIVE THE COCKROACH.

OH, WHAT DO WE DO NOW, MAN ? I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SKIN A SQUIRREL.

OH, RELAX, NUT BRAIN. WE DON'T NEED SURVIVAL TRAINING.

WE SURVIVED THIS, DIDN'T WE ?

ALL WE GOTTA DO IS FIND DRY DUDS.

AND A FIRE.

OKAY. WE'RE LOST IN WYOMING, WEARING CHICKS' CLOTHES,

AND I'M WHIPPING UP ONE WICKED WEDGIE.

ANYWAY, WE'RE BACK IN BIZ, BUD. NOW WHAT ?

SIMPLE. FLY HOME, TELL DAD WHAT HAPPENED, MIX A HULA, HIT THE BEACH.

DUDE, IT'S A GOOD THING YOU PACKED THE JAMMERS. SURE BEATS HITCHHIKING.

YEAH. HITCHHIKING'S DANGEROUS.

YEAH ! LET'S CRASH, DUDE. RIPPING IT UP !

I'M ON YA, BRO ! YEAH ! WHOO ! WHOO-HOO !

LAND LUGE !

WHOO-HOO ! YEAH !

YEAH-HA-HA !

STEW, MAN ! FOLLOW ME !

WHOA ! OFF THE ROAD !

WHOA ! WEED WHACKER ! YEAH !

[ Electronic Humming, Glass Rattling ]

BRO, ARE YOU SURE THE AIRPORT'S THIS WAY ?

PHIL, WHO WEARS THE GLASSES IN THIS FAMILY ?

**