Danny & the Human Zoo

# My boy Lollipop

# You make my heart go giddy-up

# You are as sweet as candy

# You're my sugar dandy

# Whoa oh, my boy Lollipop

# Never ever leave me

# Because it would grieve me

# My heart told me so

# I love you, I love you, I love you so

# But I don't want you to know

I need you, I need you, I need you so

# And I'll never let you go I need you so

# And I'll never let you go

# And I'll never let you go Doo, doo, doo, do

# My boy Lollipop Doo, doo, doo, do

# You make my heart go giddy-up Doo, doo, doo, do

# You set the world on fire Doo, doo, doo, do

# You are my one desire Doo, doo, doo, do

# Whoa, my Lollipop... # Doo, doo, doo, do

# Whoa, my Lollipop... #

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Get off, Bailey, I ain't done nothin' to you.

You ain't' done nothin'?! You ain't done nothin'?

You ain't' done nothin'?! Then what's this then, nig nog?

Then what's this then, nig nog?

Fight! Fight! Fight! Do you think you're funny?

Do you think you're some kinda comedian?

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Well, you ain't.

Skinner! Skinner! Skinner! Skinner!

That felt good. I'ma do it again.

I can't be beat.

I am the greatest.

I'm so pretty, I'm so fast, I'm a whoop yo' ass.

Oh, he's a good boy, Harry, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Left hook, right hook.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, Danny Fearon.

Ladies and The human punching bag.

The human punching bag.

He's allergic to violence, ladies and gentlemen.

He breaks out in cuts and bruises.

Thank you very much.

I said to the doc,

"I broke my arm in six places. What should I do?"

Doc said, "Stop going to those places."

Doc said,

Whoever you are in there,

you all should be on the telly Whoever you are in there,

you all should be on the telly or summat.

you all should be on the telly He's right.

He's right.

Mate, you could make a fortune doin' that stuff.

Mate, you could make a fortune He ain't lyin', that's for sure.

He ain't lyin', that's for sure.

You alright now.

Alright, Miss Myrtle? If God see fit, Mr Harris.

Alright, Miss Myrtle? Your hair look good. Wig?

Your hair look good. Wig?

Are we done yet?

What you say?

Rest yourself, me have things to do.

Lord God, Miss Clarice, look pon your hat.

One good gust a wind and you soon reach back a Jamaica.

You like it? Mm-hm.

Bloody hell, man.

What you say? Nothin'.

Ooh. An' if you damage or drop even one piece of fruit or sweet potato

Ooh. An' if you damage or drop even I will shove dem up your nose hole.

I will shove dem up your nose hole.

You hear me?

Pick up the things now.

Miss Myrtle, we miss you at church, you know?

You remember my daughter, Cherry? Alright, Cherry?

You remember my daughter, Cherry? Them nuh have comb where you live?

Them nuh have comb where you live?

The times I tell that girl to drag comb through that head of hair.

The times I tell that girl to drag Come like they deaf or something.

Come like they deaf or something.

Alright, Danny? Come like they deaf or something.

Alright, Danny? Yeah, you?

Your mum's funny. I saw you up town just now.

Does she know every black person in Dudley? (CHUCKLES)

Gettin' a summer job?

Dunno, maybe.

Might do waitressin'.

Mum says I'd have to wear a big hat or a wig

Mum says I'd have to wear a big hat so as not to frighten the customers.

so as not to frighten the customers.

I like me hair, though. It's me.

Daniel.

Me foot dem mash up. Come mek we go in the house.

Miss Patterson a talk to me about,

"We miss you at church, Miss Myrtle you know?

"Me hope say you not backslidin' into the arms of you know who?"

Imagine a talk to me like that inna street.

Meanwhile, me hypnotise by Cherry head.

It tangle, it tangle, it tangle, it tangle

till her head resemble bush.

Pure elephant and lion a run round in there.

Brother Murphy operation, leave him a walk sideways

like crab.

I saw him a go up town today.

Ladies, gentlemen and children, welcome to The Generation Game.

Ladies, gentlemen and children, Nice to see you. To see you...

Nice to see you. To see you...

Nice!

I've been very worried about the coal shed door.

I've been very worried

# See them flyin' on a 10-mile heat

# Doo-dah, doo-dah

# Round the racetrack, then repeat

Oh, doo-dah day

# I win my money... #

1,000 to the base of 10

is 3.

So that's 10 to the power of 3

is 1,000.

Finally... (VOICE SLOWS)

Finally... (VOICE SLOWS)

..by 10 by 10 is 1,000.

..by 10 by 10 is 1,000.

Brought over, what we've got...

..then there is 2...

(WHOOSH!

What now? Listen, lads.

If we're going drinking and round all the clubs and that

we'm gonna need spondulicks. Cash-ola. Readies.

we'm gonna need spondulicks. Where'm I gonna get spondulicks from?

Where'm I gonna get spondulicks from?

Yow've never got any money.

Don't your parents ever give you Yow've never got any money.

Don't your parents ever give you any pocket money?

Don't your parents ever give you Jamaicans ain't got parents.

Jamaicans ain't got parents.

It's more like two drill sergeants lampin' you round the house.

Me dad's got me a 'prenticeship at the factory, but the money's shit

and I have to give most of it to me mum.

She says, "What you want wid money anyway?

"You'd only spend it on foolishness."

So that means I gotta get two jobs.

They'm hiring up the zoo.

You what?

Nah, go on.

No, stop!

This is the Queen Mary Ballroom

where you'll be working This is the Queen Mary Ballroom

where you'll be working your bollocks off all summer.

The pay is crap, but you do get a discount on the discos and drinks.

It's Magnificent Jonesy on Sunday nights.

It's Magnificent Jonesy Northern Soul and that on Mondays.

Northern Soul and that on Mondays.

Northern bastard soul. Gosh, that's Motown for poor people.

Discount doesn't mean free.

Don't forget that.

You still have to pay somethin' to get in and get your drinks.

You still have to pay somethin' Alright? We ain't a charity.

Alright? We ain't a charity.

Unless ya know someone on the door Alright? We ain't a charity.

Unless ya know someone on the door or behind the bar.

Unless ya know someone on the door I just pour me own, saves time.

I just pour me own, saves time.

This is Bridget, a senior staff member.

When she says, "Jump", you say, "How high?"

When she says, "Jump", And don't even think about it.

And don't even think about it.

The drawbridge on Bridget's knickers And don't even think about it.

The drawbridge on Bridget's knickers is well and truly up, my friends.

The drawbridge on Bridget's knickers The Carter twins. Jaysus.

The Carter twins. Jaysus.

Two of you ugly bastards for the price of one.

Be still my beatin' heart.

C'mon.

Well, look at you all shy.

Better hurry up, you're gonna be left behind by Frodo and Dildo.

# Ain't no stopping me now

# Like a bird, I'm flying free

# Ain't no ball and chain can keep a hold on me

# Ain't no ball and chain # Ain't no stopping me now

# Ain't no stopping me now

# Like a bird, I'm flying free

# Find someone who really wants to get to me

# Went into my life, thought, "Well, that's for sure"

# Now things are bad, you ain't got to hear no more

# Well, you stopped a knocking at my door... #

# Well, you stopped a knocking

Bridget there, boys and girls.

Proving to us all that whatever God is, male or female,

Proving to us all that he's got a knob.

he's got a knob.

You alright, Bridget?

Can I get three lagers and one lager with lime.

Can I get three lagers Lime? Is one of youse a poof?