Another Period

Cumulostratus cloud cover moving in.

Barometric readings indicate a rising tropopause.

In anticipation of a visit

from the president of the Royal Meteorological Society,

I have completed construction on a state-of-the-art instrument

that will harness the energy of the weather itself.

I am just so excited to be inducted

as an official Thunder Queen of the RMS.

Oh, uh, only lead researchers on a project get inducted.

I'm going to be inducted?

No, I am!

This is my experiment.

Abortion Deb, you did draw up the schematics.

I designed the equipment and did all the math.

And I paid the $6 application fee.

Which is why I will be supervising the event

from a safe distance, preparing for my new title...

A scheming bitch?

Conduct the experiment yourself

since you're the lead researcher.

- Hmpf! - Abortion Deb, Cornetta?

Girls? Come back!

I can't do this without you!

Who will hold my poles?

Are you almost done with this room?

Mayor Cutie wants to take a shit in here.

Sisters.

I have a rare opportunity for you.

Ooh! Invitations to your second funeral?

Imagine the chance to participate in an experiment

that will change forever the way we look at

weather.

Hortense, apart from the civil rights of poor people,

there's nothing more boring than the weather.

Ugh.

I certainly hope you're joking.

For the weather...

Is my life.

I am Juan Pablo El Castillo,

and I have come all the way from Barcelona

to meet Hortense.

And to make love...

to her mind.

Hello, Doctor.

I love the weather!

Me too!

Except for rain.

And snow.

And gentle breezes.

Yes, uh,

we like our breezes rough.

- Mm-hmm. - Hmm.

Madam, you've hardly touched your dessert pillars.

Is the croquembouche not towered to your liking?

We could add a spire of plum butter

to the summit if you prefer.

No, it's not the pillars.

It's just that life has become less sunny

since I've discontinued my morphine use.

My God, Madam, I'll inject you straight away.

No, Peepers.

I think not being on morphine is ultimately better for me

than being on morphine.

Well, I'm not a doctor, but that sounds like

a load of piffle.

I need something to invigorate the spirit.

Some adventure.

Perhaps something involving the great outdoors.

Oh, no, Madam.

At your age, even the lesser outdoors

could kill you.

I have an idea.

A pleasure cruise.

Well, if I can't get high,

at least I can get on the high seas!

I'm sure you get this all the time,

but what is rain?

When water condenses in the atmosphere...

What language are you speaking?

I can't believe it's finally happening.

Sex with a Spanish male has been atop both

of our bucket lists for years.

It's the only thing our lists have in common.

Mine mostly involves technology

that hasn't been invented yet,

like a mechanical Beatrice.

Mine is to figure out what a bucket is.

The goal of my experiment

is to attract lightning,

and then use the energy as a controlled force.

At least there's something out there we can control.

Ladies.

A storm is like a bull...

wild and unpredictable.

But like a bull,

it can be tamed.

Oh, you can tame me if you pull my hair.

Me too!

Also, it helps if you call me chambermaid

while you pull.

This part's fake.

Yes, and Juan Pablo,

as every matador knows,

to truly dominate the bull, one must be safe.

That is completely wrong.

- What? - You must be a risk taker.

Yes, well, no disrespect, but what do you know

- about bullfighting? - I'm Spanish.

And a professional bullfighter.

And I published a book called

"How the Weather Is Like a Bull."

It sold 1 million copies.

Yes, well, off to the woods.

Let's just hope no one gets killed.

I've never been so excited.

Lady Dodo and myself,

all alone for a whole day.

Well, Lady Dodo, myself, and the captain.

And the deckhands.

And the chef.

And the other guests, and their staffs.

The orchestra,

and the electro-technical officer, and the boatswain,

and the able seamen, and the ordinary seamen.

But other than that...

Alone.

This is your cabin, Madam.

One canopy bed, Captain?

I suppose I'll be sleeping where I nap like a commoner.

And through here are quarters for your man.

My own cot?

Is this a pleasure cruise, or a paradise cruise?

Now, sir, if you must pass water,

you may do so over the side of the ship.

If you have to defecate, you must hold it.

My good man, I always hold it.

The fresh air, the open sea.

We're really roughing it now, Peepers!

Not I, Madam. I fear I may grow spoiled

with these lavish accommodations.

Where is your rain gear?

- This is my rain gear. - I'm not wearing rain gear.

- I'm trying to . - I need you focused!

These two rods will harness the energy of the lightning.

If they are not firmly in the ground,

someone could be electrocuted.

Now hold your poles in place, and don't screw this up!

Biblioteca Gracias is mine.

He's hot-blooded.

He's not interested in your anemic beauty.

- Can't we both have him? - Of course not!

Here's how it goes.

I say what I want, and you acquiesce to my demands.

He's mine, say it!

- He's mine! - He's mine!

He's mine!

He's mine!

Ow!

He's on my bucket list!

My bucket list!

No, no, no, no!

Don't cross the lightning rods!

Are you insane?

You'll both be electrocuted.

No! Give it!

Ladies, please...

Stop!

Give. Me. That.

Pole!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God!

We've killed him.

And against all odds, it had nothing to do with the weather!

I think I'm...

I'm actually...

I'm actually okay.

What does "okay" mean in English?

And if we are very lucky,

we may even see whales.

Majestic, clever creatures, whales.

With emotions and language.

Complex social ties.

As God as my witness, nothing feels better

than killing a whale.

Harpoons will be available on all decks.

Sweet merciful Poseidon.

A sea twister.

Everyone, return to your cabins at once.

What about the lifeboats?

Do you have any idea what happens to a 12-foot boat

when it's crushed by a 30-foot wave?

- Well, of course not. - No one does!

No one's ever lived through it.

We are not long for this world.

Now...

Panic!

We must get you to safety!

- Oh. - This way!

This way, quickly.

Quickly!