The Flintstones

It's Granite Bay still in the lead...

then Fossil second by two lengths, Volcano third.

But wait a minute.

Sabertooth is starting to move up on the outside.

- He said "Sabertooth," Barney. - I know.

Come on, Sabertooth!

Heading for the far turn, it's Granite Bay in front...

Fossil is second, Sabertooth is third, Slagheap fourth...

Volcano, Earthquake, and Gravelpit.

Coming into the stretch, Sabertooth takes the lead...

with Fossil second, then Granite Bay, Slagheap...

Volcano, Earthquake, and Gravelpit.

Watch this, Barney-boy. Seven ball, the easy way.

- Sorry, Barney. - Great shot, Fred.

Nothing, Barney. Watch this one.

Looks like you're in trouble with the eight ball.

Are you kidding?

All you need is the right tool for any job.

Here's the one I was looking for.

Eight ball, the impossible way.

Watch this, Barney. The trick shot to end all trick shots.

Fred, we are going to enter you in the Olympics.

And why not?

Hey, Dan, how about some cue chalk?

Coming.

Here you are. Use it in good health.

I won't be bringing it to you much longer.

- Why not, Dan? - I'm selling the place.

You're kidding.

No kidding. I'm retiring to that little chicken ranch.

Get it?

I'm only asking $2,000 for it, lock, stock, and barrel.

Funny thing you should mention this, right, Barney?

Mention what, Fred?

My friend and I have been looking for a deal just like this...

haven't we, Barney?

- Who? - Us, that's who.

One thing though, fellas. The deal has got to be strictly cash.

Cash?

Excuse me, fellas. Got to get the phone.

What's the idea of kicking me, Fred?

Don't you get it? This place is a gold mine.

If we could buy it, we could get rich and be our own bosses.

Yeah, and another thing, we could play every day for nothing.

Well, you can forget it.

We could never raise that kind of money. $2,000.

You know, I had $2,000 in my hand this afternoon.

-$2,000? - Yup.

I was making a bet for the boss with a guy named Herman.

Your tightwad boss betting on races?

Yup. Sabertooth in the fifth, at 40-to-1.

40-to-1? He must think it's a sure thing.

Look, if old tightwad bets on it, it is.

Did I tell you he locks the paper clips in the safe every night?

Wait a minute. Just a minute.

Barney, we own a business.

Like how?

We go to the track tomorrow, bet $50 at 40-to-1...

and what do we get?

- We get to play pool for nothing. - Oh, boy.

- One little thing, Fred. - Yeah?

- Have you got the $50? - No, have you?

We were sure living there for a couple of minutes.

Wish I had the nerve to use my pay.

Why not?

Because Wilma would kill me, that's why not.

- Well, tell her you lost it. - I tried that once.

Oh, no. Wilma's too smart.

- Look, suppose somebody held you up? - Suppose they did.

Wilma couldn't blame me for that.

What an idea! How do I think of them?

You're a genius, Fred, that's how. A sheer genius.

- What's wrong? - Wilma will still kill me if she finds out.

So you'll die rich. After all, it's for Wilma's sake.

That's right, I'm doing it for her.

I'll be able to give the little woman all the things she deserves.

All right, Barney. Now get this straight.

You're going in first, and you break the news to Wilma.

Yeah. I'll lay it on good and thick.

And then when you get her wailing and crying, I'll stagger in.

She'll be so glad to see me, she won't even think about the money.

Okay, pal. But just give me enough time.

- I almost forgot. - Forgot what, Fred?

Here, you better hold my pay envelope.

- But what for? - If Wilma finds it on me...

our holdup story's in the ash can, that's what for. Get going.

Fred's not home, Barney.

Wilma, I only hope he makes it home.

What are you talking about?

I don't know how to break this to you, Wilma...

but a terrible thing happened.

Fred was on his way home, and two guys jump him in the alley.

They gave him a terrible beating. He tried to defend himself...

but they overpowered him, and took his whole week's pay.

Now, Wilma, take it easy. Don't get hysterical.

- I don't believe one word of it. - But, Wilma--

- Not one word. - But, Wilma, wait till you see him.

A little dirt on the face.

Rip the fur a little.

That ought to do it.

I tell you, I don't believe it.

Easy, pal. Try to hold on, Fred. You know we all love you.

I know. Especially Wilma.

Take it easy, honey. I'm going to be all right.

Don't be hysterical. Stop crying.

Just be glad I'm alive.

What did you do with the money?

The money? What kind of a wife are you?

- Three tough guys jumped me and-- - Barney said there were two.

Two? Well, one of them was a midget. Barney couldn't see him.

It's the phone.

You two midget brains better think of something better before I get back.

I'm coming.

How about a woman like that?

She's tough to convince, that's all I can say.

I'd have to be half-dead before she'd even half-believe me.

We gotta do something, Fred. And fast.

I hate to do this, Fred.

One, two, three, four. Testing.

He's out like alight.

- Now what? - Fred just keeled over.

- From what? Overacting? - No, from this bump.

Oh, my poor husband.

He's coming to.

Fred, will you ever forgive me for doubting you?

Watch him, Barney, while I get some cold water and a towel.

Say something, Fred.

You knucklehead. Are you trying to kill me?

I had to think of something quick. What else could I do?

I'm thinking of something quick now. Can you guess what I'm gonna do?

Now, Fred, I just called the doctor and you're not to stir till he gets here.

I'd like to stir Barney. With a bat, that is.

Hey, Doc, what's all that...

Search me. I saw a doctor do it on a TV show once.

Quiet, please, while I test the reflexes.

Just what I thought.

Concussion of the concuss {nit complications.

- Complications? - Ja.

Bumpus of the nogginus.

"Bumpus of the nogginus"? What's that?

- Search me. I-- - I know, you saw it on a TV show.

Now, one week in bed...

feed him liquids, soft foods, rest and quiet, and all that jazz.

I'll take good care of him, Doctor.

Good. Then I got to hurry now.

What is it, Doctor? An emergency?

What emergency? I got to go home and watch TV.

- Fred, how's it going? - Terrible.

She won't let me out of here. She watches me like a hawk.

Tell her you got to go to work.

I did, so she called the boss. She told him I'd be out for a week.

The last bus leaves for the track in an hour.

- I'll go down and bet the money. - You?

What do you know about betting at the track?

-"I saw it on a TV show once." - Now, cut that out.

If anybody goes, we go together.

Oh, no, you don't. You're not going anyplace.

I'm going to the market to get some brontosaurus soup bones...

and don't you dare move while I'm gone.

I guess it's goodbye to Boulder Dan's place.

- Yeah, we're dead. - Gee, I sure hate to give up.

- It's a cinch. - What's a cinch?

You know the fellow you bet the boss's $2,000 with?

- What's his name? - You mean Herman.

That's it, Fred. Where's the phone?

Hello, Herman? $50 on Sabertooth in the fifth.

Right on the nose.

Yeah, right on the nose. You got it, Herman?

Herman, you got it?

I regret that due to circumstances beyond my control...

I cannot conduct business any further at this time.

But, Herman, listen. Herman, you gotta... But...

Well?

Herman's out of business. So we're out of business.

No, we're not.

We just got time to catch the last bus for the track. Come on.

- What will you tell Wilma? - I'll think of something later.

Hold that bus! Hold it!