Rutherford Falls - First Season

Oh my--

What the hell?

I'm not from around here.

I was just driving, looking for an ATM.

I looked at my radio for two seconds.

Yeah, it's happened before.

Why is there a freaking statue

in the middle of the street?

It's just always been there.

Well, it's dumb.

400 years ago,

brave settlers landed in a new world.

They cleared dense forests,

survived unforgiving winters,

and befriended their Native American counterparts,

all in the service of founding the very town

in which you're standing right now.

I'm Nathan Rutherford, and it is my distinct honor

to introduce you to some of those men and women.

But before I do that,

does anyone have to go potty?

All right.

I'm gonna hold you to that.

Come on.

Now, our journey begins with this man.

Lawrence Rutherford,

founder of this town and my patriarchal ancestor.

Fun fact, I'm actually the last Rutherford to live here

in Rutherford Falls.

- Anyone see the resemblance? - I definitely see it.

It's in the jaw.

And the shoulders, and the chest,

and probably some other places.

Okay. Thank you.

In 1932,

then-Governor of New York State,

Franklin D. Roosevelt, visited Rutherford Falls,

and he enjoyed a hot slice

of Lucy Rutherford's rhubarb pie

right here in this chair.

I still get chills thinking about it.

And then, he cried,

"I banish you all to hell, opossums!"

And thus ended

the Opossum Infestation of 1747.

And Lawrence Rutherford gazed upon the majestic valley,

and thus declared,

"This is where we belong."

And so, in 1638,

he brokered a uniquely fair and honest deal

with our neighbors, the Minishonka,

thus establishing our town.

Now, the terms of the deal were laid out

in this document.

One of those terms was

to honor the exact location the deal was made,

which is why a century later, both parties came together

and erected a statue of old Lawrence,

affectionately known today as Big Larry.

Question.

Did they make a statue of any Minishonka?

Great question. And...

bronze was very expensive at the time,

so they really only had a budget for the one.

So--

but if you're interested in Minishonka history,

then I strongly encourage you to visit their cultural center,

which is run by my good friend, Reagan Wells--

Hey, put that back, please.

Thank you. Okay.

No, no, no, no. See, these exhibits,

they all need to remain historically accurate.

It's very precise. - What?

It's funny. They're kissing!

In what world is vandalism funny?

No, it's--it's fine.

Why don't we visit

Avery P. Rutherford's frame room?

He believed that the frame, not the painting,

deserved center stage. Come on.

The history of indigenous people is

the greatest story never told,

so I'm honored to serve as director

of the Minishonka Cultural Center,

a place where our people won't be overlooked...

But there's more to be done,

which is why we should go all-in

on a major museum expansion.

If we double down,

we'll be saying "Winner, winner,

cultural center..."

Jesus. God, you sound ridiculous.

_

- Okay-- - I just won 800 bucks

on the Judge Judy slot machine.

Oh, that's great. Congrats.

- How much? - No!

I wanna buy something for my Rita.

She'll fill this with seashells.

- We go for a lot of walks. - No, no, no!

Ooh, I am so glad you have an active hobby at your age,

but this is a work of art, and it's not for sale.

- How much is this one? - Do y'all sell shot glasses?

Shot glasses, yes, they do sell them at the gift shop.

This is the cultural center. Totally different.

And actually, we're closing early,

so I'm just gonna have you both come with me.

Thank you so much for stopping by.

Go ahead and go gamble away your 401ks.

And so, the birth of Rutherford Falls

signifies the dawning of a new era

of peace and prosperity

that continues to this day.

The future of Rutherford Falls...

is glorious.

Okay, everyone.

That concludes our tour,

and now, our museum associate director/intern, Bobbie Yang,

will hand out some complementary

astronaut ice cream.

Whoa! One at a time.

I know we're the same size, but I am your elder.

Oh, okay.

Bravo, Nathan. You've made history come alive.

And you awaken things in me.

And the students. Different awakenings.

That's super kind of you to say.

I hope you enjoy your astronaut ice cream.

I intend to enjoy every bite.

Mmm.

- Oh, is-- - It's dehydrated.

Is it? Are you sure?

- It's chalky. - I'm getting it back.

I'm getting it back.

Do you like Italian?

Man, you've really got to ask Ms. Fish out

before she dies trying to drop a hint.

What? Not gonna happen.

I mean, she's nice, but...

she doesn't get it.

You always say that, but what do you mean?

- Like, what is there to get? - It.

Like everything that matters in the world.

Everything that's important.

I just find people either get it, or they don't.

Okay so, in your mind, who gets it?

- You, obviously. - Thank you.

Tom Petty, Missy Elliott,

Nelson Mandela, Cheech Marin, the Dalais.

Parton and--

- Lama. - Oh.

Taika Waititi, your Uncle Ernie.

Okay.

There's just a whole bunch of people.

I'm in pretty good company.

You are...because you get it.

I mean, Taika...

These are so nice.

Thank you so much for making them for me.

Proper signage is the sharpest arrow

in one's quiver. Let me finish this one,

and then we'll do another run-through.

Sure you have time? You said that prepping

for Founder's Day is making your hair fall out.

Well, it always grows back, and this is important.

If this goes well, you could have a real museum.

Mm-hmm. Totes.

I'm gonna barf. I'm feeling very barfy.

I should cancel. Just let me cancel.

We can go to lunch. You can eat all my fries.

- Reagan Blanchard Wells! - Nathan Collins Rutherford.

You're ready, okay?

You've been planning this for months.

No. You know what?

You've been planning this since the fourth grade.

And that's why I'm freaking out.

If Terry says no, then I'm really stuck at this job.

Like forever.

Look, I get it. You're scared.

But sometimes you just have to plant your feet and say,

"This is what I want,

but also, it's the best idea, and you know it."

- And that works for you? - Yeah, try it.

Come on. Okay, run-through right now.

Here we go. "I'm Terry Thomas.

"I run the casino.

I'm scary and loom large in your life."

- Okay, Nathan. - "You've had stress dreams

"about me in which we're at Chuck E. Cheese

"and you haven't won any tickets."

Uh, that was told you in confidence, man.

I know, and it's like my favorite story.

- Oh, my God. - Come on.

Okay, just focus.

- You've got this. - Okay.

The history of indigenous people

is the greatest story never told--

Oh, that's good.

Which is why I am honored to be--

Aw, sorry.