South Park

OKAY, CHILDREN, WE HAVE A SPECIAL GUEST TODAY --

A WOMAN RECRUITING YOUNG PEOPLE FOR A NATIONAL CHOIR TOUR.

NOW, I KNOW THAT CHOIR TOURS ARE TOTALLY STUPID AND LAME,

BUT PLEASE GIVE HER YOUR FULL ATTENTION.

GO AHEAD.

UH, THANK YOU, MR. GARRISON.

HOW ARE WE ALL DOING TODAY?

I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

I SAID, "HOW ARE WE ALL DOING?"

ERIC CARTMAN, YOU SAY "EXCUSE ME"!

OKAY.

GO AHEAD.

CHILDREN, WE ARE A NATIONAL CHOIR CALLED

"GETTING GAY WITH KIDS."

WE'RE GONNA DO A BIG TOUR DOWN IN CENTRAL AMERICA

TO HELP SAVE THE RAIN FOREST, AND YOU CAN BE A PART OF IT.

MRPH RMHMHM RM.

KENNY McCORMICK, YOU SPEAK WHEN YOU'RE SPOKEN TO!

GO AHEAD.

YOU SEE, WE TAKE KIDS FROM ALL OVER THE COUNTRY

AND PUT THEM IN A CHOIR WHERE WE SING AND DANCE

TO RAISE AWARENESS ABOUT OUR VANISHING RAIN FORESTS.

DID YOU KNOW OVER 10,000 ACRES OF RAIN FOREST

ARE BULLDOZED EVERY YEAR?

THAT'S RIGHT, AND OVER 30% OF THE WORLD'S OXYGEN

IS MADE IN THE RAIN FOREST.

Miss Stevens: SO, WHO WANTS TO JOIN THE FUN?

WHAT IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANY RHYTHM?

EXCUSE ME? LIKE MY FRIEND KYLE.

HE'S JEWISH SO HER DOESN'T HAVE ANY RHYTHM.

SHUT UP, FAT-ASS! CHOIRS SUCK.

KYLE BROFLOVSKI, YOU WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE!

ERIC CARTMAN, YOU BE NICE TO PEOPLE!

STAN MARSH, YOU MIND YOUR MANNERS!

KENNY McCORMICK, YOU PAY ATTENTION!

GO AHEAD.

WELL, THAT'S ALL, REALLY.

SO IF ANYONE IS INTERESTED

IN SEEING THE RAIN FOREST AND JOINING OUR CHOIR,

I'LL LEAVE INFORMATION PACKETS UP FRONT.

THAT'S GOOD. WE NEED SOME MORE TOILET PAPER.

ALL RIGHT, THAT DOES IT!

Mr. Mackey: I AM TIRED OF SEEING YOU IN MY OFFICE.

YOU GET SENT HERE EVERY DAY, CRAIG.

I KNOW.

WHY CAN'T YOU BEHAVE?

I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOUNG MAN,

YOU'RE GONNA BE HELD BACK A GRADE IF YOU DON'T--

FLIP ME OFF?! NO.

YES, YOU DID. YOU JUST FLIPPED ME THE BIRD.

NOW, SEE, THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

IF YOU DON'T SHAPE UP, M'KAY, AND GET YOUR HEAD STRAIGHT--

THERE! YOU JUST FLIPPED ME OFF AGAIN!

NO, I DIDN'T. YES, YOU DID!

AND UNTIL YOU STOP FLIPPING PEOPLE OFF,

YOU CAN JUST GO BACK TO THE WAITING ROOM, M'KAY?

NEXT!

WELL, WELL, WELL,

IF IT ISN'T STAN, KYLE, KENNY, AND ERIC.

HEY, CRAIG. HEY, DON'T FLIP ME OFF,

YOU SON OF A BITCH!

SIT DOWN, BOYS.

LET'S SEE, WHAT DID MR. GARRISON SEND YOU IN HERE FOR?

"THE BOYS WERE BEING RUDE WHILE A CHOIR TEACHER

WAS GIVING SOME STUPID PRESENTATION."

IT'S JUST SOME DUMB ACTIVIST KIDS' CHOIR THING.

YOUNG MAN, "GETTING GAY WITH KIDS"

IS NOT DUMB, M'KAY?

IT JUST SO HAPPENS THAT I'M ON THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS.

DUDE, ALL THOSE CHOIRS ARE THE SAME.

THEY DON'T EVEN REALLY SING. THEY USE PRERECORDED TAPES.

WELL, GUESS WHAT, BOYS?

I THINK "GETTING GAY WITH KIDS" IS JUST WHAT YOU NEED.

I'M GONNA SIGN UP ALL FOUR OF YOU.

WHAT?! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!

MRPH RM!

MRPH RM, MRPH.

I THINK THIS WILL BE VERY GOOD FOR YOU.

BUT WE DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT THE RAIN FOREST.

AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHY YOU NEED TO GO, M'KAY?

PLEASE, MR. MACKEY, WE'LL BE GOOD!

DON'T SEND US TO THAT OLD KIDS' CHOIR!

HAVE MERCY, MR. MACKEY!

BE SAFE, KYLE.

BRING ME SOMETHING BACK FROM THE RAIN FOREST.

OH, NO, THE RAIN FOREST IS VERY FRAGILE.

WE MUST TAKE ONLY PICTURES AND LEAVE ONLY FOOTPRINTS.

OH, I DIDN'T REALIZE.

DID YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT NOW,

BULLDOZERS ARE TEARING DOWN THOUSAND OF ACRES

OF RAIN FOREST EVERY DAY?

AH, MAN, THIS IS GONNA SUCK DONKEY BALLS.

PLEASE, DON'T MAKE ME GO ON A CHOIR TOUR, MOM! PLEASE!

STAN, YOU SHOULD BE EXCITED.

I WOULD LOVE TO SEE THE RAIN FOREST.

BESIDES, YOUR DAD AND I NEED SOME TIME ALONE.

NOOOO!

OKAY, CHILDREN, THAT'S ALL OF US.

WE'RE READY TO HEAD FOR THE LATIN-AMERICAN NATION

OF COSTA RICA,

A COUNTRY FILLED WITH VIRGIN RAIN FOREST.

WHOOPEE.

AND YOU MUST BE ERIC CARTMAN. I'VE HEARD ABOUT YOU.

YOU DON'T RESPECT NATURE OR OTHER CULTURES.

YEAH, PRETTY MUCH.

WELL, I'M GONNA CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK, KIDDO.

MY NAME'S KELLY.

MRPH RM RMPHM. LENNY?

MRPH RMPHM! JOHNNY?

RMPHM! OH.

NOW, WE'VE GOT A LONG TRIP AHEAD OF US,

SO LET'S TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN OUR CHOREOGRAPHY.

THE NIGHTMARE BEGINS.

OH, LOOK, CHILDREN!

I THINK WE'RE ENTERING SAN JOSé,

WHICH IS THE CAPITAL OF COSTA RICA.

OH, THIS IS SO EXCITING!

OH, MY GOD, DUDE!

LOOK HOW DIRTY AND CRAPPY EVERYTHING IS!

ERIC, COSTA RICA IS A THIRD-WORLD COUNTRY.

THESE PEOPLE ARE MUCH POORER THAN THOSE IN THE U.S.

WHY THE HELL DON'T THEY GET JOBS?

HEY! WHY DON'T YOU PEOPLE QUIT SLACKING OFF AND GET A JOB?!

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! GO TO COLLEGE!

ERIC, SIT DOWN!

YOU GOTTA BE FIRM WITH THESE PEOPLE

OR THEY JUST SLACK OFF AND BE POOR FOREVER, RIGHT, KENNY?

HEY, MAYBE THAT'S IT, KENNY. MAYBE YOU'RE COSTA RICAN.

THAT'S WHY YOUR FAMILY'S SO POOR.

MRPH RMHMHM RM. YOUR FAMILY ISN'T POOR?

WOW, DUDE, LOOK OVER THERE!

WOW! COSTA RICAN PROSTITUTES!

HEY, LOOK AT THE PROSTITUTES, YOU GUYS!

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, MAN?

YEAH, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A PICTURE?

OKAY. CLEEK!

Miss Stevens: ERIC, SIT DOWN!

KIDS, THIS IS THE COSTA RICAN CAPITOL BUILDING.

THIS IS WHERE ALL THE LEADERS

OF THE COSTA RICAN GOVERNMENT MAKE THEIR --

OH, MY GOD, IT SMELLS LIKE ASS OUT HERE!

ALL RIGHT, THAT DOES IT!

ERIC CARTMAN, YOU RESPECT OTHER CULTURES THIS INSTANT!

I WASN'T SAYING ANYTHING ABOUT THEIR CULTURE.

I'M JUST SAYING THEIR CITY SMELLS LIKE ASS.

WOW, SEEING A PLACE LIKE THIS

REALLY MAKES YOU APPRECIATE LIVING IN AMERICA, HUH?

MRPH RM.

YOU MAY THINK THAT MAKING FUN

OF THIRD-WORLD COUNTRIES IS FUNNY,

BUT LET ME --

I DON'T THINK IT'S FUNNY.

THIS PLACE IS OVERCROWDED, SMELLY, AND POOR.

THAT'S NOT FUNNY. THAT SUCKS.

ERIC, WILL YOU PLEASE, PLEASE, JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT

WHILE WE PRESENT OURSELVES TO THE COSTA-RICAN PRESIDENT?

WHY?

Because I'll buy you some ice cream if you do.

OH!

WELL, IT WAS A LONG TRIP,

BUT THE CHILDREN ARE VERY EXCITED TO SING TOMORROW.

¿QUé?

UH, WE'RE THE CHOIR

THAT-- THAT WAS SENT FROM THE UNITED STATES.

¿QUé?

WE'RE THE GROUP SINGING

FOR THE "SAVE THE RAIN FOREST" SUMMIT TOMORROW?

OH, DEAR, WHERE'S MR. MACKEY?

HE SHOULD'VE BEEN HERE BY NOW.

CHILDREN, DO ANY OF YOU SPEAK SPANISH?

DON'T YOU DARE!

SORRY I'M LATE.

OH, THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE HERE. I DON'T SPEAK ANY SPANISH.

OH, NO PROBLEM.

USTED ES CHOIR DE ESTADOS UNIDOS, MUY BIEN.

OH, OH -- "SAVE THE RAIN FOREST."

YES!

HE SAYS, "PABLO HERE WILL TAKE YOU ON A RAIN FOREST TOUR."

OH, BOY!

MR. PRESIDENTE,

ROUND UP YOUR SUBJECTS OUTSIDE.

WE HAVE A SPECIAL GIFT FOR YOU --

THE GIFT...OF SONG.

¿QUé?

ALL RIGHT, CHILDREN,

LET'S GET IN OUR ROWS QUICKLY SO WE CAN BEGIN.

DID YOU REMEMBER ALL THE CHOREOGRAPHY, LENNY?

MRPH RMHMHM RM.

HELLO, EVERYBODY!

THIS IS JUST A LITTLE REHEARSAL FOR TOMORROW,

SO WE MAY BE A LITTLE RUSTY.