2:37

HeIIo?

Is anyone in there?

HeIIo? (Thumps on door)

PIease. . .

Open. . .open the door!

Mr. . . PIease, couId someone. . .

Hurry up! (Thumps on door)

Hurry up! Yes, yes. ReIax.

Get out of the way. Out of the way!

Open the door!

HeIIo? Is there somebody in there?

Yes. Go away, pIease. Find somebody eIse to annoy.

What's happened? HeIIo? HeIIo!

I said piss off! Now!

HeIIo, is there somebody in there? Open up!

Are you sure there's someone in there?

Yes, I'm sure. WeII, go and get the janitor.

HeIIo! He. . .

Mate?

Mate, is that you in there?

Shit. Shit.

Open the door!

If there's someone in here, open the door!

Open the door!

Are you sure there's someone in the. . .

Just open the fucking door!

Oh, my God.

Yeah, no, it's me. Yeah, it's me pIaying.

Um. . .aIright.

WeII, I'II taIk to you about it in the first break, OK?

AIright. Yep. CooI. See ya.

MeI!

Next year, um, when schooI's finished. . .

I'm Ieaving, MeIody!

..I'd reaIIy Iike to be Iike my dad.

You know, he's just. . . you've just gotta admire him.

I mean, he works reaIIy, reaIIy hard,

he's successfuI -

he's a partner in this major firm.

You know, 6-figure saIary.

They have these fucking beautifuI offices.

MeI!

I'm Ieaving, MeIody!

I remember when I was IittIe - I was probabIy about eight or nine -

and, um, saved up aII my money

for. . .for this 'DoIIar a Day' commerciaI.

You know, the ones with the kids

with aII the fIies aII over their face.

Anyway, I sponsored this IittIe girI.

Her name was Jemina.

She was so cute.

Anyway, my brother, Marcus, found out,

who then toId my dad.

God, he got so angry.

He said I was wasting money.

You know, she couId've died.

I Iove kids.

I think I couId be a primary schooI teacher.

It'd be fun.

Oh, and animaIs too.

They're just so gorgeous.

We weren't aIIowed pets, though.

( 'THE FOUR SEASONS' BY VIVALDI PLAYS IN CAR )

Fuck.

Yeah, I've got a good body,

but it's not about being vain, you know?.

It's about being a top-cIass athIete.

Like, I Iove scoring goaIs and winning and. . .you know?.

Just making good time.

And then I fucking hate schooI.

I sit there and I Iisten to shit that has no reIevance to me.

Like, fair enough for someone eIse

who's gonna go off and be a Iawyer or some shit Iike that,

but for me it's just fucking useIess, you know?.

Who actuaIIy gives a fuck about some dead poet from 200 years ago?

Premier Ieague soccer pIayers, we don't need maths or Shakespeare

or Tutan-fucking-khamen, you know?.

Luke!

I Iove tits.

I Iove pussy.

I just Iove women.

I guess saying aII that shit makes me normaI, huh?

It's Iike peopIe can just Iook at me and say,

''Oh, he's just this normaI, horny IittIe kid.''

You wanna know the truth, though?

I Iove cock.

I Iove arse.

And saying that shit, peopIe just Iook at me Iike. . .

..Iook at me Iike I'm this sick, perverted,

twisted IittIe fucking outcast.

That's schooI, though, innit?

After next year aII my friends want to be big, independent women

or have some great career.

Yeah.

I think marriage is a nice thought.

Now, I know there's probabIy

a miIIion feminist butch chicks out there

who'd kiII me for saying that,

but I'm not taIking about one of those fat housewives

who go shopping in their trackies.

I just Iike the idea of being in Iove.

I mean, just 'cause you're married

doesn't mean you have to Iet yourseIf go.

And we've had 1 00 minutes

of end to end footbaII here tonight,

and some very tired Iegs out there now.

To Viera - ooh, it's a careIess pass. Intercepted by Ryan Giggs.

And now Manchester United streaming ahead in numbers now.

Dwight Yorke making a run to the corner fIag.

Support waiting in the centre as weII,

but it's stiII Giggs on the edge of the area.

Past Keown now, past Dixon.

And a sensationaI goaI!

How can ArsenaI possibIy come back

after such an unbeIievabIe finish as that?

Ryan Giggs sureIy has never hit a more teIIing strike

at such a vitaI time,

sureIy cIinching this FA Cup semifinaI for Manchester United.

And you'II have to wait a Iong time to see another goaI Iike that.

Back home in EngIand, me and my famiIy,

we aIways Iived in the same street, the same house,

and aII the neighbours and friends, they knew my medicaI probIems.

I've got one Ieg Ionger than the other one

and, um, that gives me a Iimp.

I was aIso born with two urethras,

and one of them I can controI,

and one of them just does its own thing,

and. . . I wet myseIf, and. . . it's reaIIy embarrassing.

Uh. . . I started schooI here three months ago,

when we moved down here.

I used to have this saying

that the shit wouId hit the fan but it wouId never hit me.

RecentIy it's reaIIy, reaIIy started to stink.

Hey.

MeI! MeI!

Listen, uh. . . Are you gonna be OK?

MeI!

MeIody!

Hey, MeI.

Hey. What's up?

Not much. Your mum stiII away?

Yeah. She is.

I haven't spoken to her for a whiIe. Oh, reaIIy?

When's she getting back? I don't know.

ProbabIy three weeks or so. So you're home aIone?

Yeah. It's just me and Marcus.

OK, there he is. Good Iuck.

See you upstairs.

How you doing, Luke? Hey.

How are you?

Not bad.

Hey. Hey.

I heard your story in EngIish did reaIIy weII.

You know, it's, um. . .

..it's been said that exposure to. . .

..cIassicaI kinds of music as a chiId

triggers these neuraI pathways in your brain

that create this spatiaI, temporaI reasoning abiIity.

It increases your inteIIect.

Your story. . .

..was it, um. . .

..about somebody in particuIar?

Was it. . . personaI?

Of course it was personaI.

Oh.

Who was it about?

Look, I've gotta go.

Marcus. Come on, I didn't. . .

Hey, Luke. What happened at the party after I Ieft?

Oh, I was fucking gone, man. You were fucked!

I'd gone into the corner to take a sIash, right,

'cause I was fucking parro,

and this IittIe bastard taps me on the shouIder. . .

What - Dino? Nah. Yeah, Ben.

So I turn around whiIe I'm taking a piss

and just piss aII over this guy, man.

You fucking pissed aII over him? What did Ben do?

What couId he do, man? He was covered in piss.

Hey, Seanie! Hey, Sean.

How's it going, buddy?

You get fucking shit on your dick?

Hey, you Iike taking it or giving it, eh?

I couId give it to you, Seanie.

Oh, yeah. Oh! I'm gonna come.

Yeah. You Iike that?

Hey. Oh, come on. Give us a kiss. Get the fuck off me.

Oooh!

What - we're not good enough for you, Seanie?

You're fuckin' pathetic.

Fucking cock jockey!

Hey, babe.

Hey, guys.

She's aIways Iooking at him.

Oh, whatever. She is!

What the fuck are you doing?

Get out!

What IS wrong with him?

ProbabIy stoned.

It's disgusting.

Fuck.